-:::Optional Second Essay:::-

<p>Hello everyone! I know i've posted a lot recently, but bear with me! The early decision is drawing ominously closer! I was wondering what you guys thought of my (optional) second essay. I thought that I should somehow incorporate music into my application, because my extra curriculars are heavily based on it. I might not submit one at all even. Please post all comments!</p>


<p>The rhythm and the notes swirl around the room, harmoniously flowing into a beautiful melody. The seemingly individual sections of the band work seamlessly together to reproduce a piece from Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. It is incredible how, long after great musicians have died, their music can still be heard exactly as they did when composing it. Every bravado, every crescendo the same. </p>

<p>This regularity lies in stark contrast to the constantly evolving and changing culture we live in. Music is, in essence, our ideal society. Brass, wind, and string instruments working in concert. Even within the greater divisions remain further separations – the violas from the cellos, the cornets from the trombones. All let flow from their musical implement separate notes, coming together in exact harmony.
The countermelodies evenly echoing the central tune, and adding exactly what was missing. A yin to every yang. This is what our society lacks – the ability to accept diversity, adversity, and most of all, controversy. </p>

<p>The flute players gently flutter their fingers, trilling sweetly. They are soon followed by the smooth sound of a single clarinet – alone in his own respect, but together with the rest of the band. The melody starts in slow, with the alto, baritone, and tenor saxophones whispering quietly.</p>

<p>If we embrace our differences, we will come together as a unified, stronger society. I believe that the answer to all the world’s problems can be fixed with one simple mandate – that everyone become a part of a musical group, be it vocal or instrumental. Through this experience, people can hopefully learn to work together, like the flutes and the bassoons; two very different instruments, but both working towards the same goal of unity, and strength through it.</p>

<p>The ensemble builds to a climax, and then suddenly decrescendos to pianissimo. The seeming urgency of the tempo foretelling of the magnificent culmination soon to come. The timpani drums reverberate their deep constant melody, the trombones emanating a note so low that it is no longer a sound, but a low, rumbling sensation. </p>

<p>As I sit there, counting the measures of rest I have until my solo, I look around the room. I see the nimble fingers of the clarinet players move in synchronization. The bows of the bass players together slide up and down, up and down. The unity of the band is strong, and our willingness to guard it even stronger.</p>

<p>Hmmm... not so sure about the contrast you are making between music and society here. Just doesn't ring true to me. Sounds like you're writing to impress instead of writing to help the adcoms know you.</p>

<p>You should absolutely use the optional essay as an opportunity to address your committment to music. I would recommend you talk about YOU and music, not society and music. As this essay stands it is as if you are speaking in the third person, an observer, a music appreciator versus a performer, until the last paragraph and even then you are mentioned only in passing.</p>

<p>Here are some questions to help get you started: What have you found about making music that has kept you involved in music study for so long? Which do you enjoy most, solo vs. ensemble work? Have you challenged yourself with a new style, a new musical genre, a new technical element? </p>

<p>Hope this helps get the creative juices flowing. Good luck!</p>