Out of the kindness in your heart!

<p>Please grade this essay?</p>

<p>Quote: Defeating an enemy by force always has profound, and usually unforeseen, consequences. Destroying another requires destroying a part of one’s own humanity, and strengthening resentment in others. It is better to understand one’s enemy, to learn the subtler but more ennobling art of persuasion and coexistence.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it more important to defeat your enemy or to understand your enemy?</p>

<p>My Essay:</p>

<p>Groups of people have waged wars against other peoples with different cultures, backgrounds, and nationalities for centuries, often knowing little more about their opponents than a blind-folded wrestler does about his. The little information they have acquired comes from the rumors and stereotypes passed around by his side; the often know no truth, and therefore, do not understand their “enemies/” Perhaps if they were to learn about and try to comprehend the values and background of the other side, there would be no reason for conflict. Thus, the most important aspect of a battle is not defeating the enemy, but to understand it.</p>

<p>One of the most tragic instances of masscre and genocide in history, the Holocaust, was caused by the misunderstanding of the “foe” by those that seeked to eliminate Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, and numerous other “undesirables” that were seen as an enemy to the German people. Those that strongly believed in the massacre of these innocents got all their notions from Hitler, on man condemning millions. They never sought to try to understand the enemy they were killing. Without any reason other than those promoted by the propaganda of Hitler, they essentially killed blindly. Had they even tried to look into the backgrounds and the culture of their victims, they likely would have seen that their condemnation had no merit, and perhaps it would have prevented some, if not many from dying due to their false understanding.</p>

<p>Even in modern society, we witness religious and cultural groups waging war against each other simply due to the lack of understanding for the opponent. In Iraq, the two sects have been pitted against each other by the manipulative forces of their previous government. They, like those who killed in the Holocaust, have no other reason to fight each other other than the false notions authorities have given. Again, like those ivolved with the Holocaust, were they to try to understand each other’s values and cultures, they would perhaps see that they have no true reason for conflict. They would likely be able to coexist without the bloody war that currently takes place.</p>

<p>Often, two opposing sides focus on destroying each other without truly trying to understand each other and their reasons for conflict. If they were to look into each other, the conflict might end, eliminating all reasons for bloodshed.</p>

<p>i would give it a 6! perfect score… only way to make it better is a bit higher vocab (like 1 or 2 sat words)</p>

<p>Thanks for your input! I will try to get a few SAT words in my essay on Saturday (and not misuse them… haha)</p>

<p>Anyone else willing to grade my essay?</p>

<p>essay prompts like this are stupid because they set people up to talk about the war in Iraq, and usually the average essayer will denote his or her side unintentionally, and if the grader is biased, then “this paper is a 6 but i really think i am gonna give it a 3 sorry”</p>

<p>I know what you mean… I try not to express any ideas that may anger my reader. This time though, I thought Iraq would be the best one to support my take.</p>

<p>bumpers… I haven’t really been evaluated on SAT essays much, so I would really appreciate feedback/suggestions. Thanks!</p>

<p>Either 11 or 12. You don’t have to write the best essay for SAT essay. Just make sure you have a good structure with intro, body and conclusion. Use good examples (you have it all), and use a few good vocabs. Make sure your essay length is long too. </p>

<p>You already have a good essay, write like this tomorrow, if you’re taking the SAT, and you’ll get a satisfactory essay score.</p>

<p>I’d put it in the 9-10 range. Conclusion a bit short, and your examples are a bit lacking on detail and somewhat vague. On the other hand, your writing style is good.</p>

<p>There is no kindness in my heart. I’d give it a 0, just because I feel the intrinsic instinct of being mean to people when I am about to take a stupid standardized test (yes, I AM posting on a random thread, just to complain about the SATs, but your title gave me the impetus :p)</p>

<p>If the reader supports the war, then 8. It was still beautifully written.
If he/she doesn’t then, 11-12.</p>

<p>Great examples. I personally loved your opinion on Iraq.</p>

<p>Thank you for your feedback!</p>

<p>I guess tomorrow, since the Iraq issue is a sensitive one, and readers could be potentially biased, it probably isn’t the first choice example.</p>

<p>debate_addict- awww, come on. Standardized tests are a good tool to see where you stand among your peers. Some might not like them, but they are still the best method there currently is.</p>

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<p>i dont think that will matter.</p>

<p>really nice essay… im going to try to write like u do tomorrow…
thanks for posting it…
but anyways for the prompt I thought that if you understood your opponent then it is easier to defeat them…
I agree that if you understood it then you wouldn’t fight
I don’t know if you watched the movie called “Hero”… Jet Li was in it but within that movie fighters used even calligraphy to understand their opponents. Understanding the opponent revealed their weaknesses and hence helped fight them.
so in a way understanding them is better… both for the passive and the militaristic person
very nice essay… i must say im very impressed…</p>