<p>On picky eaters: there’s some research (but it’s not particularly good research) that indicates that it can take TEN times trying a new food before it tastes good. I read the research when my children were very young (they’re now mid-20s) and so my response to their pickiness was “one tiny bite at each meal until you’ve tried it ten times (at ten different meals); after that you don’t have to try it again.”</p>
<p>My parents were very strange about food and I ended up fighting a lot of food issues (we weren’t not allowed to eat food with white sugar–so I’d buy cookies with my allowance and then eat the whole box… really healthy! NOT!) so I really didn’t want to fight with my kids about food. They got whatever we were eating but I tried to make sure that we ate food they liked, mostly. </p>
<p>And Friday nights were always pizza night until they graduated from high school.</p>
<p>I told my kids they must at least try something. They were not allowed to simply look at it and refuse. Some things they liked, others they didn’t care for. But at least they had a basis for their refusal the next time. I didn’t have too much trouble with extreme “pickyness,” but that could have been just luck on my part.</p>
<p>If we ever went out to dinner and a child wanted fried chicken fingers, I would only agree if they ordered steamed broccoli or some other healthy side dish to go with it. Dessert would be fruit. I TRIED to balance meals in this way when I could.</p>
<p>I’ve read before that in many cultures there is no such thing as a “picky” eater. I wonder how that could be if being picky is actually not something a person can control. I’ve read that picky eaters have some sort of biologic mechanism going on which drives this behavior. </p>
<p>Very interesting subject about which I’d like to know more.</p>
<p>I have always told my kids that they have two choices: take it or leave it. </p>
<p>I also have one child who prefers starches and veggies and the other prefers meat and starches. I often tried to offer all three and each of them would eat the things they liked. Neither kid is fussy and one is pretty adventuresome when it comes to food.</p>
<p>I was a very picky eater growing up. My mother’s idea of a vegetable was potato. I was so nervous going to a friend’s house for dinner afraid that I’d be given something I didn’t like, which was almost everything. I swore that would not happen to my kids.</p>
<p>I offered them a variety of foods at meal times and they could eat it or not. No battle, no arguments, if they didn’t like anything, which was rare, they could feed themselves later. Since there were few unhealthy foods in the house I didn’t mind if they helped themselves to fruits and veggies later. They weren’t required to try anything and they could request more of anything being served. I had three kids who would eat just about anything. One of my teens once remarked “mom, these are the best brussel sprouts ever.”</p>
<p>My sister, on the other hand has three of the pickiest eaters you could ever find. To this day, I could count on my fingers the foods her 27 year old will eat. My sister’s outlook was that she didn’t want to argue with them and if they wanted chicken noodle soup for breakfast lunch and dinner weeks in a row they could have it. All three kids also have a weight problem</p>
<p>Yes. I think eating habits are learned and not inherited.</p>
<p>It does our kids no favor to encourage picky eating. Although if kids are picky eaters, allowing them to talk about it or making demands on their behalf is boorish. I have a co-worker who is 40-something and she will go on about how she does not eat this or that. I want to just say, " Grow up.". Be fussy, but don’t tell me about it.</p>
<p>On the wedding/reception gap, we once went to the movies to kill time. I had packed comfy shoes to change it to as well. As we were out of town, I didn’t care if the shoes looked goofy with the dress. Being comfortable was way more important.</p>
<p>I think there are two varieties of picky eater, the “I only like French fries and chicken nuggets” types and those who really do have sensitive palates. I’ve had experience with both types.</p>
<p>One of my young relatives grew up as a picky eater. She wouldn’t eat a vast array of foods, among them most sweets, including chocolate. She ate mostly fruits and vegetables so nutrition wasn’t an issue. She eats a much wider variety of foods now but still has strong food preferences and does not eat cake, even on her birthday.</p>
<p>Another young relative won’t eat things that “look wrong” or are in any way unfamiliar. Put a piece of parsley on top of the mac and cheese and the entire dish instantly becomes unpalatable. This child does not have any other sensitivities so I don’t think it’s a neurological issue, just being raised in a family where said child is allowed to have a limited repertoire of foods. Desserts don’t seem to be a problem. :)</p>
<p>The difficult thing is to tell when a child is refusing food for the first reason (“I’d prefer a cookie to the broccoli you’re offering me”) and when the second (“Broccoli tastes so bad it makes me gag. Can’t I please have some carrots instead?”)</p>
<p>The best thing we’ve found to help our kids stretch their palates is travel. There’s nothing like knowing there truly is no option but to eat what’s in front of them to make a child suck it up and try something new. Mine now pride themselves on trying a new food on every trip. They’ve eaten some truly bizarre stuff.</p>
<p>When they were little we used to let them smell a new food before deciding if they were willing to taste it. It seemed to take the pressure off and make them less resistant.</p>
<p>I never made an issue about food. Saying “you have to eat this” or “you can’t eat that” sends a poor message about “good” and “bad” foods. Teenage girls, especially, can develop an unhealthy relationship with food if it was made into a big stressful issue when they were growing up. Also, why not just cook something everybody likes? What’s the big deal? I certainly don’t buy and fix food I don’t like; so why would I fix something for someone I love that they don’t like?</p>
<p>We always just cooked one meal, but if our kids didn’t like it we didn’t make them eat it. We asked them to try it, but if they didn’t like it then they had to eat other fillers (potato, salad, rice). We also only provided 3 meals a day. H would say - the kitchen is now closed.</p>
<p>When we took the kids out, I used to order the kind of food I thought they liked and I would order things I liked to eat. So I would order chicken, steak, pasta for them, I would order oysters, lobster,snails, crabs for myself, and H would order lamb, duck, or some vegetarian dishes. I remember when D2 was around 5, she asked to try some of my food. I thought for sure she wouldn’t like oysters or snails, but her eyes really lit up when she tried oysters for the first time. After that, every time she saw I had some food on my plate she always wanted to try. Since then, I have not been able to enjoy my food by myself, but it is nice to have someone to share my taste. D1’s food taste is more similar to H. She loves lamb/steak/pasta, and anything Asian.</p>
<p>In our case, we never pushed, our kids saw how much we enjoyed our food and just naturally wanted to try.</p>
<p>Side note - we always let our kids order whatever they wanted, not just from the kids menu. We had to tell them that they couldn’t do that when they were out with their friend’s parents. “Yes, I think I’ll have a rack of lamb, medium rare please.”</p>
<p>“What’s the big deal? I certainly don’t buy and fix food I don’t like; so why would I fix something for someone I love that they don’t like?”</p>
<p>It isn’t a big deal if we’re talking about a few disliked foods. It might be a big deal (at least in my eyes) if the child is learning to eat only the same few things over and over again. Especially if those things are not healthy as the basis of a diet, or if the child is getting the message that friends, restaurants, etc. have an obligation to provide particular dishes.</p>
Wise words, dancecless. Of course, I probably feel that way because that’s how we did it in our house, too. We were fortunate that no one hated a long list of foods. We always had a green salad, beloved by all, and there was always yogurt in the fridge and cereal in the cupboard for people who just couldn’t bear the thought of pork chops.
That was my youngest d’s favorite, oldfort, even from an early age. Reminds me of the time we took our 6 y/o nephew out for lunch at a seafood place without his parents. He very confidently and sweetly announced that he would like a lobster, please - so we ordered one for him. He enjoyed every bite and then politely asked if he could have another one.</p>
<p>In the third grade, my teacher told me that if got a specific number of Accelerated Reading (read x number of books) that she would take me out to eat. She thought I was going to choose McD’s or some other fast food place. I chose the nicest steakhouse in town and ordered beef tips! I still see her every so often and she has never let me live that one down!</p>
<p>My kid who can’t eat fruit is far from a picky eater-- he will eat almost anything else, including a lot of things no one else will touch – headcheese, haggis, cooked spinach (which he would eat three times a day if we let him), tripe, all vegatables. So I never made a big deal out of making something else for him if we were having fruit salad, etc with dinner. </p>
<p>My big fear was always that if I tried to force him to eat fruit, when I got old and he had to take care of me he would force me to eat headcheese!</p>
<p>H and I went to a “work wedding” with a 3 hour gap. Bride’s and groom’s friends and extended families showed up in jeans and curlers. Very very few men were at the ceremony. We lived close by so all the work friends came back to our apartment and proceeded to all get absolutely smashed. When we went to the reception the same women were there - now with gorgeous dresses and very heavy make up. Men were there and we all had pounding headaches from all the cheap white wine we drank. Ugh!</p>
<p>Haggis is sheep heart, liver and lungs minced up and mixed with onions, suet and oatmeal, stuffed in a sheep stomach and then boiled for three hours. Traditionally served with boiled turnips and potatoes. I will let you all decide if it is indeed food.</p>
<p>Haggis, the food of my ancestors. No problem!</p>
<p>Having seen my niece miss much of her wedding reception because they underestimated the time it took to go through the photo routine, I’m all for the gap. Surely there is something else to do besides drink! </p>
<p>She arrived at the reception after we’d all eaten, visited for several hours, and missed her. Not having eaten all day, she was starving. It was a relatively casual wedding, but still, extended family is a rare event in our lives.</p>
Reminds me of the time we took our 6 y/o nephew out for lunch at a seafood place without his parents. He very confidently and sweetly announced that he would like a lobster, please - so we ordered one for him. He enjoyed every bite and then politely asked if he could have another one.</p>