<p>Any people here who are 40+ and still have parents (in the over 70 club) who are telling them how to lead their lives?
Examples might be: Live here, not there.
When you move rent for a year first.
Don’t always take the same vacation.
You buy too many electronics.
Do you really need a dress watch?
When you eat at a restaurant you,
you do not need to order an appetizer as well as an entree/try a new dish (ie: whale meat-just kidding, but you get the idea).</p>
<p>Actually, my MIL was like that w/ DH long after he turned 40. Finally, I had it out with her (I was just over 30 at the time) and told her in so many words to buzz off or her son might not be married for long. It worked. She never tried to control his life again. As a result, I never did get to be close to her.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, now the poor woman is in a nursing home. I truly feel sorry for her because basically she is not close to any of her children.</p>
<p>My mother always said to be a great MIL keep your mouth closed and your pocketbook open. Her two son in laws adored her. (and not just because of her generosity) Question: when exactly DO you stop telling your kids what to do? I think its going to be very difficult to stop, in all honesty. Say you don’t like the girl your adult son brings home. Do you say anything? (not unless asked, I guess)</p>
<p>My 95 y/o grandmother is still telling her daughters (in their 70s) and grandchildren (in their 40s and 50s) that they should spend less money, eat less bread, and put less on their calendars. So I think that it basically never ends. And of course it kills us that she’s right.</p>
<p>Once you’re an adult, your parents can’t control you any longer, though they can make your life extremely unpleasant when they try. I am a firm believer in turning a deaf ear to suggestions, criticisms, and admonishments. When that’s proven too difficult, as it sometimes has, I become unavailable (it works).</p>
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No, unless in cases of abuse, obvious mistreatment, or if asked.</p>
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<p>I have taken this route. I don’t have a great relationship with my mom. She controlled through being passive aggressive. And she succeeded, despite my successes, in making me feel like I was a failure. So we see each other every Thanksgiving and Chirstmas, and that’s about it. </p>
<p>I used to let my kids spend a week with my folks each summer, trying to let them have quality time. That is, until my mom said to my oldest “How are your mom and dad? I can’t believe they have lastest this long. What do you think your mom sees in your dad, anyway!” This, after 25+ years of marraige. My father is a SAINT (this after 55+ years.)</p>
<p>Yes, I had that until my mother died in 1990. </p>
<p>I remember it well.</p>