<p>My two roommates (both 20) are very religious. My SO lives a few hours away. We have not discussed overnight guests, but I am certain they will not be permissive of any man spending the night, which he will be doing for 2-3 nights 3-4 times over the next year. I do not share a bedroom with them.</p>
<p>How can I approach this? Can they outnumber me and veto male guests entirely, or should I tell them that what they think doesn’t matter as I pay rent too and hope they don’t throw a fit when he’s here? What can I say that makes my position clear without being the bad guy?</p>
<p>Tell them that you pay the same share of rent that they do, and that they cannot dictate what goes on in your own bedroom. If their religious principles conflict with your life choices, then it is their problem - not yours. Explain to them that you understand and respect their views and misgivings, but that you do not share these views. </p>
<p>Talk to them about it and see what they think. If you have him over regardless, then you could be making enemies with them, but they can’t really stop you besides being annoying. Only you can decide if it’s worth it or not. I’ve had roommates who had their significant others over several times during the year, and while I don’t particularly care on moral grounds, it certainly did interfere with my life–just in terms of sharing the bathroom/kitchen/living space with another person, extra noise, extra mess, what I felt comfortable doing in the house, etc. I’m not saying you should bend to their will, but I think it’s important to remember that it’s their home too (it’s not like he’s going to going to be locked in your room the entire time so they never see or hear him) and they have a right to feel comfortable in it and have some say in who gets to live in their home. It sounds like you’re set in your ways regardless of what they think, so there’s no real way not to be the bad guy–unless you find that they don’t really care as much as you thought to begin with.</p>
<p>To be honest, what I’d recommend is you try to find different roommates in the future. Why are you rooming with people you know will not be okay with male guests if you also know that you’ll be having your significant other over throughout the year?</p>
<p>If you’re living on campus (though it doesn’t seem like it from your post), there might be additional guidelines you have to work within as well in terms of roommate consent.</p>
<p>Have your bf come to visit and book him a hotel room or have a friend let him couch surf.</p>
<p>Have the room mates meet him without the pressure of him staying the night, maybe have a pizza night for the group.</p>
<p>Now that they have met and talked to him, they may be more receptive of him staying in the house in the future, of course with him in your room and you sleeping in the living room(wink, wink) if they see him as a good guy.</p>
<p>You need to let them feel comfortable having him around.</p>
<p>Next year get more loosey goosey room mates.
You knew this was going to be a problem when you signed the lease.</p>
<p>Take the religious thing out of your mind first because even non-religious, totally loosey-goosey roomies could have issues with people they don’t know staying over more than one time or for more than one night.</p>
<p>I suggest ask them if it’s ok for you to have your friend over 2-3 nights 3-4 times. If possible be more specific on when exactly, so that they can think about their own future plans on those dates. Explain why it is important to you and why he can’t stay anywhere else. And then ask them sincerely what would help to make them comfortable with this - are there any ground rule they would like about, say bathroom use, etc?</p>
<p>Take their concerns seriously and try to address them. Be willing to compromise. </p>
<p>If you treat them like reasonable people they will probably react reasonably. If you start off being defensive or belligerent it won’t go well.</p>
<p>If you’re in an apartment, their opinions are pretty irrelevant. Just don’t let him stay there by himself and screw what they think. It’s your room.</p>