<p>I have one or two of them in one of our bookcases at home but they were for high-school subjects back then. The amount of stuff for free on the web today is amazing but it takes a little work finding it. You can find a full calculus text on line covering Calc I, II, III by Gilbert Strang at MIT. There are many webpages with tutorials. There are forums where you can ask questions. And there are course and help videos. I have about 120 GB of course materials on a variety of undergraduage, high-school and graduate courses and expect to have about 200 GB within a few weeks. I may need a new hard drive soon.</p>
<p>The text book D1 is using in her freshman class is: Shifrin Multivariable Mathematics.</p>
<p>Ginsberg,</p>
<p>You are not alone and you sound like a perfectly normal nice kid to me! I was just where you are twenty something years ago - a top graduate of one of the top high schools in the nation, full ride scholarship and still being absolutely wiped out by calculus. I was so homesick my parents flew me home for the weekend at one point. I made it and you will, too.</p>
<p>You’ve gotten fantastic advice: tutors, office hours, exercise. I’d just add fish oil (about 4 capsules a day from Wal-Mart in the vitamin section - gives you energy and fights the blues) and call home just as often as you like. You are going through a huge adjustment and having a family you love and miss is a good thing - take advantage of it!</p>
<p>Ginsgerg, you are lucky to by only 45 minutes from home and parents that are such a source of love and sustenance. I say go home when you need to! It sounds like you have friends at school so it isn’t a matter of being socially isolated. Our D is going through very similar circumstances as a freshman. I remember when she was little, I never pushed her to be more independent than she was ready to be. There wwere times when she was very clingy, especially in social situations, but I let her be. Trying to push or encourage her to be more autonomous never seemed to work, it just made her balk more. It was only when she felt assured that she could always “come home” that she began to explore. As long as you’re able to have good, satisfying friendships, and it sounds like you do, there’s nothing wrong with needing your parents for now. Once you feel more secure academically, you’ll start to spread your wings, I have no doubt.</p>
<p>Dear Ginsberg,
I’m so glad that you posted. As a mom of an engineering student experiencing the same things you are, I feel your pain. I ‘chatted’ with my son yesterday on facebook and he is a mess. He also failed his Calc mid-term and feels his aspirations of a dual-major engineering and business have been dashed forever. He also is an incredible student, top 10, Ivy league, never fails anything…he’s truly in a bad place. I am going to send him the link to your post and this thread, clearly he is not alone. As for his Calc, he AP tested out of Math I, so is in the higher math, and he probably should have saved it for spring semester, as he’s already dying with his other eng courses, plus added business course and an extra lab thrown in for fun.<br>
Good luck and take care of yourself. It is great that you are close to home. My son is a 6 hour drive away. We booked him a flight to come home for a long weekend tomorrow. I’m hoping we can help cheer him up. This is normal…painful, but as all the posts here reflect, it is very common.<br>
Best wishes.</p>
<p>I am so glad this was all posted. I got a call from my daughter on her Chemistry exam and she did poorly and is very very down on herself. After leaving the test she realized that she needed a study group, which I hope she follows up on. So many of our kids flew through HS with needing little time to study or ask for help. I think realizing that you don’t have to do this alone and asking for help is the right thing to do. Many have never had a poor grade in their lives and as I tell my daughter asking for help is a sign of maturity and strength not weakness</p>
<p>Dear Waitingseemslong,
I agree. In fact, I don’t even want to talk about all of this stuff with my adult/parent friends, as their kids seem to be doing ‘wonderfully’ and one has even suggested that maybe my son should transfer! What? If anything, this is a challenge for him that he needs to undertake, not run from. I know people just say things in haste, thinking they’ll make you feel better, but it still is hard.<br>
It is very good to know that other kids are going through this turmoil. It’s funny but someone on the engineering forum talked about how the students hide it by locking themselves in their rooms in seclusion. If they only knew that there were many other kids who bombed their tests, and were as equally devastated, it might help ease the pain!
Guess the old saying ‘Never let them see you sweat’ is an innate trait. For the most part the kids I’ve known like my son are not competative with others, so much as they are with themselves. And when they let themselves down, they really take it hard.</p>
<p>Agree about the maturity …and it sounds like that is a good lesson learned early on.</p>
<p>Dear CCL8’s son: I hope your mom sent you the link & you are reading this thread. Engineering is H-A-R-D. Throw away your preconceived notions of perfect grades. You might fail a class or two. You will have to learn how to study all over again (or for the first time, if you - like many engineering students - never had to study much in high school). Your chosen path will seem like a really bad idea for awhile. But the good news is, it WILL get better! I went to an engineering college, and many extremely smart kids struggled, failed classes, and otherwise found out that they were human, after all. We all bonded together in our misery, and we learned to work with each other so we could benefit from the fact that each of us is gifted in our own way - and together, we could share & figure it all out. It got easier with each passing semester … or maybe we just got used to it. In the end, it was more than worth the effort.</p>
<p>As for your business classes, you can get an MBA or an MSA later. Your company might even pay for it. </p>
<p>I know a young man who felt like he was drowning freshman year in UMich Engineering. He worked so hard & got low grades, while others around him didn’t work so much & got high grades. He got discouraged, but plugged away. The summer after sophomore year, he got a summer job with a company that ended up being blown away by his work ethic. They didn’t care about his less than stellar grades. They offered to pay his tuition for the next 2 years, give him a job the following summer, and hire him when he graduated. Again, he did not have a high gpa … what he had was a good attitude, a great work ethic, and the will to succeed. That’s what will pay off for you in the end.</p>
<p>Hang in there.</p>
<p>Ginsberg,
Just checking in. How are you doing? Is your semester smoothing out at all? Hope things are getting more settled and you’re feeling better. I spoke to my son last night and for the first time all semester he seemed much more calm and like himself. He’s in the middle of his second round of mid-terms and he’s feeling pretty good. What a relief.</p>
<p>Hope you are doing well.</p>
<p>I thought I might update since it’s been two months. I’ve done much better academically, and in fact, got a 100 on my last calculus test. I’ve worked really hard and it paid off (of course, finals are in just a few days, so the hard work is far from over).</p>
<p>What’s really surprising is that I’m not feeling much better. It’s almost like I can’t enjoy any success I have because I’m so overwhelmed with other projects. All I want to do is go back home, sleep, and see my family (thank God for Christmas break).</p>
<p>It seems now that I’ve found my place socially and academically (or have the process kind of figured out) but things are still bleak. I’ve been to the counseling center several times and my counselor thinks I have an “adjustment disorder” and/or possible depression. I’m waiting until after the holiday break to see her again. If I’m still feeling this way after the break we will start considering medication for anxiety. </p>
<p>I’m so frustrated because I think I should be feeling better, but I’m still as stressed out and worried and homesick as before. To be honest, I want to just give up, at least for a semester, but I wouldn’t ever do that. Here’s hoping that the holidays will give me some perspective and cheer me up.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your kind words, again. They really helped me out when I posted this and are helping out again now :)</p>
<p>Glad to hear you are succeeding academically and socially. Yes, do go and see your counselor again, and try medication if it is suggested. We want you to feel better! :)</p>
<p>Ginsberg-
Your perseverance in the face of your continuing difficult feelings is most impressive and something of which you can be proud. It does not need to stay this way. By all means, continue with the counselor and try the various remedies that are available. Enjoy the time off with your family!</p>
<p>Best,
Mafool</p>
<p>Ginsberg –</p>
<p>So glad at least the outer things are doing better!</p>
<p>I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but there is substantial research showing that fish oil helps depression. I personally know several who have felt like their lives changed after starting it. It takes about 4000mg a day (4 capsules of the brand they carry at Wal-Mart) and takes about 2 weeks to show that it’s working, but it really does work. You might try it as an intermediate and less side-effect step before you try the meds.</p>
<p>Here’s hoping your exams go well and you have a great Christmas break!</p>
<p>Ginsberg, it’s great to hear that things are so much better. </p>
<p>If you are prescribed meds, don’t hesitate to take them. Sometimes they are necessary. I have two friends who had to take them temporarily during periods of stress in their lives. Others have to be on them long term. Your therapist will help you figure out just what is necessarily for you. </p>
<p>Best wishes for a sunnier new year!</p>
<p>Another mom who is glad to hear your update. Kudos to you for all you have done and are doing.</p>
<p>And then let me add my voice to the chorus - do not hesitate to try whatever courses of action the counselor recommends, including meds. And don’t hesitate to see the counselor sooner than after break, if you can. Nothing wrong with starting to feel better sooner!</p>
<p>Good luck with the exams. Best wishes for a good break and a happier new year.</p>
<p>When you get home, spend time with your family, sleep to your heart’s content, eat your favorite homecooked food, and don’t think about school. It’s possible that things will seem a lot brighter once all the stress is off of you. And you now have the resources to get on top of the bad feelings before they get out of hand.</p>
<p>glad to see you are doing well, if not feeling better.</p>
<p>When my son told me that stuff that never used to bother him about people and the world, now did affect him, I told him I thought that it was a sign he was growing up and not being focused just on himself. And sometimes the world can suck and be overwhelming and inhospitable. We ALL feel that way at times. </p>
<p>I had serious issues as a teenager. Only diagnosis I could ever get was “adolescent adjustment disorder”. The treatment plan, I swear to god the doctor said this “Growing up, give yourself time and don’t be so hard on yourself”. I know, easier said than done.</p>
<p>Hi Ginsberg!</p>
<pre><code>Others have given you some great feedback, and I just want to say that I actually had to leave college in the middle of my senior year due to some stress, depression,and what not. All that happened was – I had to go to summer school to make up 12 credits and I graduated in September, not June!
</code></pre>
<p>My point is – stuff happens!</p>
<p>If you decide you’d rather live at home and go to a college closer to home, you certainly can! </p>
<pre><code>Try not to feel boxed in. Most things are not permanent.
My hunch is that you will get on track and do just fine. Keep us posted!!
</code></pre>
<p>I think alot of kids neglect how important eating well, not eating garbage all the time, can help change how they feel.
I know my kids moods are very affected if they are not eating well. If college kids are also drinking, not even to excess, the depressing effect of alcohol will be an issue. If they are drinking a few times a week, they will almost be in a perpetual state of depression/stress just from the alcohol. It is almost self fulfilling in that regard.</p>
<p>If you are also geographically in a northern area away from your home, you would be surprised how lack of sunshine can bring you down quickly if your body is used to a more southern sun exposure. Maybe some sun exposure could lift your spirits. Sun works wonders for my mood.</p>
<p>samiamy - eating well and getting some exercise. S1 finally realized that if he did not get out and run more days than not he could slide into stress/depression. It had to be outside, not in a gym. Also had to eat right with sufficient protein in the diet. Not all carbs. Makes a huge difference for him.</p>