<p>Do u think it makes a lot of difference on how you deal with people depending on what kind of authority your parents have? Does it make a big difference on person’s relationship with any people between having passive, authoritarian or authoritative parents? </p>
<p>Let me explain definitions, I think its clear what kind of passive parents are. They let children everything and thats not good at all. Authoritarian parents, set a lot of rules and guidelines which is good, but on other side the discipline is so paramount that the relationship itself is devoid or low on love, affection or nurtring. These parents believe in holding their children to a very high level of achievement and success. Often parents in these relationship love children (who knows if really) but its not two-way. The parents don’t put much focus on trying to understand their children. And third authoritative, is the balanced parenting style. This is the most assertive parenting style and the least aggressive or passive. Parents take control but respect that their relationship with their children is two-way relationship, etc. </p>
<p>Speaking from my experience, I would say my parents are authoritarian (not authoritative). I feel like they put so much pressure on me being successful and decide what is best for me that they even do not realize that sometimes they don’t know they are wrong. Sometimes when I screw up something, even unintentionally, they nag that I did not do something to prevent or something like that. Also many times, when I watch movie on tv on moderately loud volume, they complain its too loud, even when they don’t do anything else. However, often times they turn on news on loud volume and then its not too loud. I do not like they lifestyle either. They won’t go anywhere in summer or for new year’s either, even when they have an opportunity. They always sit at home and watch tv, when they are not at work. And when they don’t watch TV, they only complain about the world. Well my parents are Polish and almost don’t speak English, but we live in Chicago area around Polonia. They do not have any friends and they do not try to make them, excusing that they do not trust here Polonia cause they’re bad on some kind of fear of rumors. Also I have nothing in common with them to talk about. Its always a talk about a school or something. They almost never ask me about if I have fun with friends over weekend or something like that. Probably they wanna avoid asking question about my private life, maybe cause they think I’m gay (besides I and my family is Polish and in polish traditional culture homosexuality is out of fashion, as its very closely correlated with catholic church politics, even though Poland is in EU). When my sister rumored behind my back that I am probably gay, I remember this strange cold look that my parents and my sister with brother-in-law gave me once at that moment and later when my parents asked if I am gay, I denied, cause I did not wanted to go from second-class citizen to third. And once on my birthday dinner, my brother in law made gay jokes that were inappropriate and no one was defending that. I just simply went with and did not show emotions. But everything like that kinda upsets me. </p>
<p>What makes my life even harder is no having friends around to whom I could sometimes refer to when I am in a need of guidance and problem-solving assistance. When I try to make friends, most of them blow me away when I send them a message or call them after meeting them in person. Could be that because I have a thick Polish accent and they are frustrated when they try to understand me or they would be embarrassed of me in their circle of their friends? ( I have been in the United States for 5 years since I immigrated) Or maybe it is the way I have relationship with my parents affect the way I can foster further relationship? But I am not authoritarian, when I make friends I try to be very nice to them and talk on a topic. Could be that they see in my eyes that I am not happy with my life so they do not want to hang out with an outcast in order to avoid a bad luck? I do not understand. Right now I am 21 and I am in college. Most of the time I study and go to gym to exercise and on some weekends I hang out with my acquaintances but I often get no feeling of making close friends.</p>