It is REALLY early to draw the battle lines so sharply OP!
I think a sit-down is in order. You need to listen to what your kid is looking for out of a college experience. You need to suss out whether he is in denial about the learning issues (many are- assuming they will disappear when they move into a dorm). You need to hear what criteria he is using to evaluate “yes,no” and really listen to why those criteria are important.
And then your kid needs to listen to you. Why the distance concerns you, why you will both need to explore the kind of LD support available, etc.
As a parent, I think it’s legitimate to say “we will finance 8 semesters. Period full stop. So if your college choice results in needing a 9th or 10th semester, you need to be prepared to come up with a plan.”
Then back off and let him do some homework. A LOT will change between now and April- don’t start escalating every discussion at this point!!!
I think worrying about natural disasters and weather is fruitless. I know a handful of kids who have died during college (actually two handfuls) since I was an undergrad-- and the causes were anorexia, drug overdose, suicide, a long standing, chronic disease which progressed, car accident (which was substance related) and two young people who died coming home from a semester abroad when their plane exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland (i.e. a terrorist attack). I am not aware of any college student who has died in a hurricane while at college.
I think worrying about high crime areas is equally fruitless. Most kids who are victims of crimes while at college-- sadly- are victimized by other students. Laptop stolen while unattended at the library, bike stolen from a dorm room when the kid “left the door open for just a second to go to the bathroom”, and of course, sexual assault and rape. It is tragic that these things happen- but honestly- they are no less likely to happen in a bucolic place than they are in a city, and the statistics seem clear that substance and alcohol abuse are MUCH worse at rural schools than at urban schools. (Less to do on a Saturday night if you’re in the boonies than if you’re in a city). The good news- urban colleges are MUCH more crime aware than the rural ones, and your kid will be hearing messages about locking dorm rooms, not letting strangers into the dorm lounge, using the security vans and the “blue phones”, getting an escort when walking home from a lab late at night on a constant basis…
So have a sit down…