Parent Bloopers

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Another reason to be in your 20s when you have kids- so by the time they are in their teens , you are still young enough to have all your marbles!</p>

<p>Both my D and my H have told me things “supposedly”, that I * seriously* never heard, or don’t remember hearing.
Sometimes, I suspect, that they are stretching the point, to get “out” of the excrement hitting the air distribution device, so to speak after the fact.
But this morning- I had a real incident, that is making me wonder about my memory.</p>

<p>First, my daughter had told me she was going to someones house after school- fine, I agreed with that- but that was all I had heard. Nothing about staying overnight etc. But then this morning, from the signs of her additional baggage it was clear she was staying overnight, and she said she had told me last night & I was standing right there!</p>

<p>Ok- I disagreed- but I could be looking in her direction and she thinks I am listening to her, but I am thinking about something else.</p>

<p>But more seriously, when I then grabbed her medication so that she would have it at her friends, I noticed that one prescription that should have more in the bottle, only had 2 left. This was a medication for ADD, but not Ritalin, but an SNRI. I was concerned and asked if it was in a different bottle, she denied it- and accused me of taking it ??
I felt I had to mention that some kids * sell* their ADD medicine , where upon she became very upset and went on a tirade about what a good kid she was and how she has never done any of those things.</p>

<p>Anyway it escalated a little, but then I eventually did get her to school.</p>

<p>However- the mystery of where the meds went still remains.
But now I vaguely remember, doing something with them myself, so that she wouldn’t have access to the entire bottle when she was going away on a trip, but for the life of me, I can’t quite remember if that was this actual refill, or in the past & I can’t find what I did with it anyway.</p>

<p>I feel like I have quite a dilemma.
I am not sure that I didn’t do something with them myself or even accidentally tossed the rest out if I had put it back in the pharmacy bag.
But I also rationalized that if she had been selling them at school- she would have made the same defense.:confused:</p>

<p>( I was also a little worried that for some reason she was stockpiling them, in the past she has planned to harm herself)</p>

<p>Its pretty frustrating- its true that with ADD I do often forget things- especially where I put things- but its also true that teens lie to their parents.</p>

<p>I feel like I am in a no win situation, unless by some miracle I happen to find where I hid them! if I did.</p>

<p>I at least feel really dumb for bringing it up right before she had to go to school- I should know from experience, that she reacts very strongly to any perceived criticism.
::::::head bang:::::::::</p>

<p>But make me feel better- I wont ask you about all the mistakes you made in “pushing” your kid to apply to all the IVIES + OXBRIDGE and won’t rest until they get a Fulbright - we already have a thread for that

  • but anyone have anything where they feel like an idiot about?</p>

<p>Even something like going home to make dinner and forgetting to pick up your kid at childcare would help ;)</p>

2

<p>Oh yeah, I have done stuff like that…</p>

<p>I have put stuff away in a “safe” place, but then can’t find it</p>

<p>I have thought I told someone, but with several people to tell, I missed them, ie my mom, and then I will say, lets go, and she will say, huh?</p>

<p>So for me, EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT, I go through everyone’s schedule verbally- to confrim what I think I know, and to tell my Ds my plans and availibility, because I can’t be sure I have all the information, or if they do</p>

<p>Yes, I have forgetten a kid at day care, not mine, but another mom’s. DIdn’t like that mom anyway, she never asked me to do her a favor again</p>

<p>I have lost my car in parking lots, forgotten where I parked it several times, so now whenever I park, I make sure and note my surroundings and make sure everybody else does as well</p>

<p>My H gave some mail, and it sat in my purse for a week, and he got called about it and I fibbed</p>

<p>So we have all been there, as mom’s we often have to take care of our own schedules while also managing everybody elses</p>

<p>So, get yourself a calendar that is just for her medications, etc., and SHE should track it with you, because she will have to someday soon</p>

<p>And don’t beat yourself up over timing, we are people too, but we are supposed to be perfect and remember all, and not make mistakes</p>

3

<p>OK maybe this will help you feel a little better? I cleaned up the piles of papers in our little library/office room, and helpfully recycled a set of four expensive tickets to a sold-out concert. (The set had cost over $200 with fees.) I didn’t realize I’d done it until we were all dressed and ready to get in the car to leave for the concert and I couldn’t locate the tickets. My S noted how well I’d cleaned up the office a few weeks earlier, and I then realized what I’d done. Talk about feeling like an idiot: four people all dressed up and ready to go… sigh.</p>

4

<p>oh I feel for you mootmom</p>

<p>It is hard to keep track of tickets- since so much other paper comes in before you need them.
( my brother received 4 air travel vouchers- to anywhere- because his family got bumped and he never did use them- I suspect he recycled them too)</p>

<p>Some tickets now that you order online, you can also have emailed to you and you just print them out- that way- you can do it right before you are ready to step out the door ( unless you forget where you put your computer)</p>

5

<p>Here in the Northeast there was a story a few years ago about a fellow who drove off having left his baby - in the baby carrier - on top of his car.</p>

<p>Someone saw the baby carrier and flagged him down.</p>

<p>The baby was fine.</p>

6

<p>Here’s a blooper that doesn’t have anything to do with memory, but it sure made me feel stupid and we still laugh about it:</p>

<p>None of our ds have dated in high school, to our relief. They could have, but didn’t - maybe they didn’t want to do the whole “Meet the Parents” thing. However, each has gone to the junior prom and senior ball, with male friends. (That’s the predominant way kids go to these events here - there aren’t that many couples.)</p>

<p>Anyway, d#1 had never gotten a phone call from a boy for social purposes, though she did talk with guys about homework, ECs, and just to chat. One day when she wasn’t home, someone called and asked for her - when I said she wasn’t home, we talked a bit about plans for the prom, the limo arrival time, photos, etc. Signing off, the kid said, “Will you tell her I called?”</p>

<p>Me: Sure! Is this Julianna?</p>

<p>Kid: (long pause) Um, it’s Steve?</p>

<p>And so ended my phone conversation with my d’s first “date.”</p>

7

<p>^LOL! Poor Steve must have felt a liiiittle self conscious about his voice afterward!</p>

8

<p>Boy can I sympathize! Sometime last summer we went on a short vacation and I hid all my gold jewelry just in case someone broke into our house. I clearly remember thinking, “Oh, this is a good place that no one will ever think of.” Do you see where I’m going with this? I have now ransacked every place I can think of and haven’t found it. I can’t even remember whether it’s upstairs or downstairs or what container I put it in to hide it. None of it is incredibly valuable but there are lots of earrings that I wear all the time and some that have great sentimental value. I seem to have hidden some fake diamond studs which confuses me as well. Do you think it is a coincidence that i turned 50 recently?</p>

9

<p>Well so EK , we have gone a little off to the side of your topic ( ie, involving the kids) , but I have to post because this is pretty timely for me.
We had a burst pipe here, tons of chaos, and I had a pair of pretty nice prescription sunglasses sitting right by the door . I decided it was best to move them somewhere else until the chaos passes. Now we are leaving for vacation tomorrow and I can’t for the life of me remember where I put them! I have spent about an hour today looking and I’m doubting my sanity at this point LOL</p>

<p>Closer to topic I also have argued with one kid or the other about where they left something, how they did not return something they borrowed from me, etc…only to find it where I left it. I feel so terrible when that happens, but at the time I am sure they misplaced it.
They also tell me that “I told you such and such” and I do wonder if I am completely losing my memory or if they told me when I was reading the paper or something and I did not really hear them.
It’s heck getting old.
One more thing …LOL…my kids always look forward to a gift in the days following Christmas, because I always find something that I hid in a great hiding place!!!</p>

10

<p>I am presently tearing my house apart looking for some savings bonds that a deceased great aunt left me. I put them in a “safe place” until I got a chance to run them to the safety deposit box–like Puzzled’s jewelry, I can’t find them anywhere. My only memory is thinking “this is a good safe spot where they won’t get thrown out accidently”–so I don’t think they went the way of mootmom’s tickets, but…well, at least I’m cleaning out some drawers while I search.</p>

11

<p>PA mom, my kids always ask me around New Year’s to go search my closet, etc for missing gifts! Often they receive a gift the following year that I find when I am hiding the present year’s gifts. I really need to keep my gifts purchased list updated.</p>

12

<p>puzzled- same thing happened to me…I was looking everywhere for the missing jewelry, it was only some items, though, not everything and was not in my usual hidey-holes! Ha! Found it in the gym bag later that week, from a day I was organised to go, then did not, then went on a trip.</p>

<p>It was not merely baubles, I was trying to figure out for about 4 days how to get a new wedding ring :eek: for my anniversary!!!</p>

13

<p>mkm: I DO keep a list of stocking stuffers purchased, or I cannot find them all come midnite Christmas eve!</p>

14

<p>EK: Maybe some of your Ds meds were swiped by other students, and she does not know they took it!</p>

<p>Maybe you did stash them somewhere! When you can picture yourself doing something, can you picture your surroundings? Can you go stand in that room and try to relive that moment?</p>

<p>I am thoroughly convinced both mums & daughters ignore things the other says. My D was going to the grocery store with Dad to buy things for dinner. We needed a large amount of one item…I told her if there was extra it would be on a certian shelf (a new place for it) but that she was going to use so much she ought to buy a new back up bag.</p>

<p>D heard “an extra on the shelf” ignored the rest and ended up with none…none on the shelf and none bought and admitted the did not listen to the rest of the sentence…I apparently do the same thing, look at her with unfocused eyes and do not hear her words :frowning: Bad mom! Bad bad mom!</p>

15

<p>mkm and somemom - Thanks, it does make me feel a little better to know I’m not the only one who is spaced out. I actually find the whole situation kind of funny but also kind of heart breaking if I never do find it. I’ve had some of those earrings since I was a teenager and others were bought when we lived overseas and cannot be replaced. Sigh.</p>

16

<p>well at least I know that her meds weren’t taken by anyone else- the bottles are always here- I think I just put them someplace else, because I didn’t want her to carry all of them around with her, but I also knew that in case of emergency, they needed to be in the original container.</p>

<p>Puzzled this may sound really “new agey” but this is what I have done when I have misplaced something important or I think for some reason that my D has taken it, but I want to try and find it before I accuse her.</p>

<p>I am not really sure what I believe religion/spirit wise, but I do believe we have guardian " angels" for want of a better term.
I have never asked for “personal gain” other than to help find something, or maybe have someone call or come home when I have been really worried.</p>

<p>I do focus my mind and ask for their help though- ( although I haven’t done it for a while) and I have either found things soon after in places that I am absolutely positive I already looked in- or places that are very obvious- or the situation has resolved itself in some way.</p>

<p>I know it might sound loopy- but that has been my experience- even if it just helps me access my subconsious, it works ;)</p>

17

<p>Man, I wish one of those “angels” would tell me where my darn sunglasses are!!
Just spent another 1/2 hour rechecking all of the usual “safe” places.LOL My kids think I am losing it.</p>

18

<p>Thank you emeraldkity, I will certainly try that one day soon when I am feeling a little more serene (perhaps once this college question is settled). I just re-read your original post and see that you are concerned with more than just losing things and you have my sympathy. We also deal with ADD and medication and it has always seemed ironic that in order to stay focused we need to first focus on not losing and then remembering to take the pills. I sure hope you figure out where they went.</p>

19

<p>Yea! I found my sunglasses just in time for my trip! They were on a table tucked out of sight behind a picture frame. A good dusting often turns up some of these hidden treasures LOL
Good luck to the rest of you treasure hunters!</p>

20

<p>Leaving the house in a hurry, I walked out, patted my pocket, felt and heard the car keys, pulled the door to the house shut (and locked), got into my car, reached into my pocket, and— pulled out my earrings (which I had put there because I was in such a hurry–I would put them on in the car). No car keys. No house key. House was locked up tight. Sigh.</p>