Parent/Child Role reversals- Did I say that? Did he say that?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>When did we become our kids, and vice versa? What are the funniest/most surprising things you said, followed by your kids’ response, that should have perhaps been the other way around in some parallel universe?</p>

<p>Tonight, DS was home doing laundry. We decided to walk up to a nearby restaurant for dinner. It was HOT outside. So we decided to pour ourselves a small glass of white wine into a plastic cup to sip on our way up there. We offered our now 21 year old son a beer. His immediate, dead serious response “Are you aware of the open container laws around here?” :eek:</p>

<p>Then, at dinner, we were discussing how were were going to handle the monthly monies we put in his account to cover costs for the remainder of the summer. He still has costs this summer (classes and housing for the summer, slight negative cashflow for the cost of his rent back at the house at college less the cost of the subletter, food, gas, etc) but has some income from his internships. We discussed the appropriateness of adjusting (downward) the amount we would give him for the rest of the summner. His response “I am fine living off the money I am earning from the internships. If you give me the full amount, I am just going to leave it in savings and not touch it. Or maybe we can talk about investment opportunities”. :eek: </p>

<p>Where did he come from? Anyone else have any similar jaw-dropping experiences?</p>

2

<p>Yep. The other day my youngest, the “I am old enough to do whatever I want because I am so mature!!!” stamps feet three times…who has grown up a lot (but is still in college).</p>

<p>We are in a very trendy shopping area. (I got in on her pass). She sees a group of kids, around 14 or 15 (boys and girls) shopping and kidding around.</p>

<p>“WHERE are their parents!!!”</p>

<p>I’m sure one of the parents dropped them off…</p>

<p>That is RIDICULOUS!!! I would never let my kids walk around unsupervised! I would never let my kids here alone!</p>

<p>(It was broad daylight).</p>

<p>and there are more…</p>

3

<p>Another one tonight (which led to a thread started to address this question): When should I start applying for fulltime jobs for when I graduate next spring?</p>

<p>Wonder what caused him to join the human race all of a sudden, especially this evening??
(He was also asking me about belated birthday gifts for me-- he’s been wanting to get me a giift certificate for a massage and has been watching for good specials in the area)</p>

4

<p>My 20 year old is living in an apartment this summer while working at a paid internship in another city. We’re covering the cost of the apartment while he’s paying all of his other living expenses. While we were visiting him he asked, “who left the light on in the kitchen?” It’s amazing the difference in your perspective when you’re paying the bills!</p>

5

<p>We were in Rome few weeks ago. D1 knows my temperant and my tolerance for crowd or for lack of food. Few times during the week when we were touring/walking/shopping, she would say to H, “I think we need to find a place to eat soon before Mommy gets too hungary.” or “I think we need to get Mommy back to the hotel soon, we’ll come back out by ourselves.” D1 would walk me back to the hotel and drag her dad back out again.</p>

<p>I definitely feel our role got reversed a bit. D1 was more in charge of what we were doing (a bit bossy in my opinion).</p>

6

<p>DS was going to leave late last nightand meet up with DH early this morning to run a race. He said to DH “I’ll stay here tonight. I’ll get more sleep and it’ll be easier for you in the morning”. :D</p>

7

<p>I was running late getting home the other day, and DS called me wanting to know if I was okay and why I was late. He wasn’t quite scolding me for not calling, but almost . . .</p>

8

<p>For me, the realization that role reversal time had started came when my daughter went to college. I suddenly became aware that I had counted on her to read maps and give me directions when we went to unfamiliar places. The first year, I got lost a lot when I went places alone.</p>

<p>Also, she can figure out a 15% tip in her head almost instantly. After she left, I started to tip 20%. It’s easier.</p>

9

<p>Every time one of my kids says, “Mom, how many times have I told you?” followed by an admonition about something unwise/unsafe that I supposedly did.</p>

<p>Visiting my daughter some years ago at her apartment in what was not a great neighborhood and needing to move my car at night to avoid a ticket. As I was heading out, she said, “You do not think you are going to walk alone outside do you? At night?” Also, when we took a trip abroad and she advised me on how to hold my bag and how to walk on the street, etc. </p>

<p>On occasion I have had to remind my kids that somehow I managed to stumble through life before they got old enough to save me from myself. And even managed to help them stumble safely through it.</p>

10

<p>So far, I have enjoyed every stage of child-rearing, and this new stage is also enjoyable. </p>

<p>If I am driving and forget to turn on my turn-signal, son is all over me. When I can’t figure out something on my computer or iPhone, I text him and he responds with instructions. I enjoy the little turn-arounds in our relationship.</p>

<p>He still calls me to ask how long to cook pasta, though. (And I always tell him to look on the box lol.)</p>

11

<p>My son thinks his father and I have been irresponsible with money, living above our means. Actually it wasn’t our day to day living that cause the problem, it was a legal issue, but that is a whole different story. Son will not purchase anything without a coupon or sale, and even then he scrutinizes every potential purchase! I did teach him to watch for sales and use coupons, but sometimes he goes overboard.</p>

<p>I recently bought him some much needed clothing; he lost 60+ lbs and looked like a homeless person in his old clothes. Before keeping any of them, he wanted to see the receipts. He only would keep the items that were on sale and under a certain price; these were gifts for him, but he still was watching the price!</p>

12

<p>Snowball, D dreads buying gifts for S because he always talks about how he could have purchased the item better for less. He is only NOW starting to improve upon this and D is delighted that he loved the Christmas gift she gave him. ;)</p>

<p>Yes, this year, S was trying to declutter our home & kept sighing when he came to the piles of “stuff” I have around the house. He programmed the electronic vacuum to run M-F @ 10am. When D came home, she started dusting our house! It was amazing to us!</p>

13

<p>D told me that the Lucerne (Safeway) yogurt was just fine as were the cheap jeans once they were coming out of her pocketbook, not mine. Happy days!</p>

14

<p>When we went on our first cruise last spring, I got up early to see the sunrise. Didnt wake my daughters or leave a note, thought I would be back before they missed me. They woke and I was gone. When I got back to the room, they were all over me… “Mom- No note! We were worried about you!” “Didnt know where you were…etc etc”. </p>

<p>Seriously I was on a boat, where would I have gone? It was cute, warming and funny. Until about the third day of the parenting and then we had to talk. I appreciate their concern and understand that some of this reversal is bound to happen, but I’ve managed for a long time. </p>

<p>On a seperate note, the oldest daughter asked the youngest about her personal life and the youngest said to me, "She’s more mother than you!’ It wasnt a compliment!</p>

15

<p>When I was on medical leave from grad school for a semester, I went home and lived in my dad’s house. My parents had been separated for about a year, and were in the midst of divorce proceedings, and my dad ended up reverting to frat boy bachelor status, a little bit. It was bizarre to bear witness to, as a 24-year-old.</p>

<p>One evening, I knew my dad was going to be at his company holiday party, and I knew he was planning on drinking. I told him that if he was going to get schnockered, that he should call me and I’d be happy to come pick him up. He said no, no, no… He’d be fine. I said okay, but that I’d stay up until he got home safe and sound, just in case he changed his mind.</p>

<p>Midnight rolls around. No call. I’m starting to wonder where he is. When 2AM rolled around and I still hadn’t heard anything, I finally caved and called his cell. “Are you okay? Do you need me to come and get you?” “No,” he said, “I’m fine, we just need to hang out here a little longer and dry out before we get in the car.” I said, “Are you absolutely sure that you don’t want for me to come get you?” He said, “No, no… It’s okay. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” I said, “Call me if you change your mind, Dad. Don’t drive if you’re still buzzed.” He said, “Fine, fine.”</p>

<p>I wait for his call, or for him to get home, or SOMETHING… I wait up until three. Then I wait up until four. At five in the morning, I’m livid that I haven’t heard from him. I call at 5:30AM, furious.</p>

<p>“Oh,” he says, “We were going to go get breakfast in a little bit… We’re fine…” I seethed, “You could have called me to tell me that you weren’t going to be home anytime soon.” He said, “Oh… uh… sorry… I’m fine now, I can drive… It’s okay… Wait, have you been up this whole time?”</p>

<p><silent fury=“” ensues=“”>… “YES. I told you I’d wait up for you until you got home, in case you needed a designated driver. What the hell, Dad?”</silent></p>

<p>“Oh… Well, go to bed… It’s all okay…”</p>

<p>I think I gave him the silent treatment for a day and a half… I completely understand the irritation when adult children pull a role-reversal on a parent, but at the same time… he’s my dad!! I care about what happens to him, and he’d gone a little bit nanners since the separation. His judgment was a little skewed, and when I was a kid, the most he had to drink had been the occasional glass of Cabernet with dinner, and his mom had just died, and his sister had just gone into rehab for alcoholism… Occasionally, there’s cause for concern. When there’s cause, I’m concerned.</p>

<p>(He did apologize later, and now that he’s remarried, he seems significantly happier and his life-adventures seem much more healthy, I’m happy to say.)</p>

16

<p>My son was given another award and he said to give it to someone else ,because " he had enough money " ! He has a well paying job as a co- op .Jaw dropping , not any role reversal</p>

17

<p>Upon return from our weekend in NYC I heard Son exclaim in disgust, “[BFF] can never dogsit for us again. The kitchen trash smells like bong water.”</p>

18

<p>I was planning to drive from our home in NJ to our NC house. 19 year old S took 2 days off from work to drive me because “no way are you attempting that drive with your bad knee!” One of the many examples in which he feels he needs to take charge.</p>

19

<p>I had to laugh this past weekend… my mom is constantly trying to clean my house. Even when it’s not messy… I keep things in places that are different from where she keeps them, so to her they are out of place and in “disarray”. Why do you keep this here? why do you keep that there? I don’t think those papers belong on your table, where should I put them? I know she’s just trying to help out but sometimes her logical place to keep things and my logical place to keep things aren’t even within the same room. It drives me up a wall a little bit when she decides to help ‘clean’. When I was over at her house this past weekend I decided to do the same thing. Mom, why is this on your living room floor? Mom, why do you keep this on your coffee table? Mom, I’m moving things around more logically in your kitchen cabinets. After I moved about six things she’s like ok ok you made your point I will leave your houses organization up to you. (i’m not totally weird about things, but I have certain things that we just don’t see eye to eye on. example being I keep my power drill and a toolbox on shelves in my living room closet rather then in my basement or in my garage. When not in use i keep my laundry baskets in my guest room. I keep 12 packs of soda under neath my kitchen server rather then in my pantry, etc)</p>

<p>When I was 16 every time I went anywhere i was told “becareful driving” “don’t forget to turn your lights on.” Since then my mom has backed out of her driveway and whacked her mailbox off its post at least twice… so now whenever I am over and she’s leaving I say “becareful driving. watch out for mailboxes.” ;)</p>

20

<p>Right after D learned to drive, she picked me up at the train station after work. I saw a friend coming off the same train who lives in our direction, so I asked D if she could give my friend a ride home. D: “I am not here to drive you and your friends around.”</p>

<p>It sounded so familiar…</p>