<p>I am a teacher and have taught in three Districts. This is far more common that one would think. Helicopter parents do everything to protect their child and buy them out of trouble. One of DD acquaintances (my student) had a pad of Dr. Appointment excuses with stamped signature from the office where her mother worked and she used it whenever she needed. Another friend (whose mother was a teacher, BTW) would be absent every single test day in her toughest classes then talk to her friends about the test and know what was on it. DD refused to talk to her the evening after a test - I always had to say she was taking a nap or at work. This friend was not particularly bright but doing all she could do to get into the top 10% so she could get automatic admission to the Flagship. In this manner, she made it. It took her 5 1/2 years of college, with a few retakes of classes that she failed and hiring tutors, but she finally graduated. 2 days ago, the fire alarm went off at school (not a drill) and there was no prior notification. It was a VERY cold day, so we knew it was one of 2 things - either it was a real emergency or a kid pulled it to get out of a test. And believe me when I say that is the main reason fire alarms are pulled by kids. We have given kids such a sense of entitlement that many think they can get out of anything or do anything to get out of responsibility, hard work or trouble. It is becoming more and more prevalent. Bad idea? Of course. The repercussions will be felt as the child matures and becomes an adult. And heaven forbid in a conference you tell the parent that they need to let the child fail! Horrors! They will sue at the drop of a hat.</p>
<p>PMK, I don’t think this thread was started to debate taking kids out of school to attend major events (like an inauguration) or college visits, or even family vacations.</p>
<p>The OP was talking about parents bringing kids in late or picking them up early specifically to avoid tests they felt unprepared for or turning in assignments that were not complete.</p>
<p>I know teachers are overworked, but frankly I think giving a DIFFERENT exam for make-up (not necessarily harder, but different) is totally fair. As I mentioned, we have known kids who did this, then asked everyone else what was on the test and focused their studies on that. These kids inevitably had good grades - and to me that’s flat out cheating. </p>
<p>As for picking a kid up early to avoid turning in an incomplete assignment - my policy as a teacher would be: If you’re in school that day, the assignment is due that day. Bring it to me before school, after school or between classes. Leave it in my mailbox in the office. If you’re legitimately leaving early or coming in late for a doctor’s appt, etc, you can drop it off somehow. But this may be going by the wayside anyway, as more and more teachers are accepting work electronically.</p>
<p>I strongly disagree with the assumption that it is not appropriate for a student to miss school because of doctors’ appointments. Often, it is impossible to schedule visits during any other time, and I think medical need overrules academic need, easily. </p>
<p>I was extraordinarily anal about not missing school in high school - with honors/AP classes, I always felt like I was going to get behind, because with the clases I was taking I had a test, quiz, or something due almost every day of the week. My freshman year of high school, I actually got into a fight with my parents about it - I believed had sprained my ankle and wanted to go to school on crutches so I wouldn’t miss the first history test of the year. My parents finally convinced me to go to the doctor - turns out I’d broken my leg (haha…oops). Similarly, when I sustained a concussion my senior year, literally the last thing I wanted to do was miss two days of school - one for the doctor’s appointment, and one because of the actual injury (couldn’t read, severe headaches, etc.), because I knew I’d fall behind in my classes. Yet I found the time to catch up in the end.</p>
<p>Obviously that was a more extreme example, but as someoe who has suffered through several injuries and medical issues throughout high school - sports or non-sports related - I take issue with the notion that it is not an excuse to miss class. As another poster has stated, if you are doing well in school, then you’ll find a way to make up the work. If the kid is skipping because he/she hasn’t studied for a test or done homework, that’s a different issue.</p>
<p>(Interestingly, my school instituted a policy my junior year where you needed a doctor’s note/dentist’s note/etc. to get an absence marked “excused,” but it was done so poorly that there was an uproar, and the policy was removed. I’m always annoyed when I feel like people are skipping school for laziness, but I’m glad the policy was removed - my friend who had food poisoning had to serve two detentions because she didn’t go to the doctor until her third or fourth day of being sick).</p>
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<p>Our public school has this same policy, and once I understood why the policy exists, it made complete sense.</p>
<p>Our school gets funded after-the-fact, based on the number of students who are in actual attendance each day. The only absences that count in this formula are those that are excused due to illness. All other absences are counted as unexcused under the funding formula.</p>
<p>The bottom line is that our school doesn’t really “care” if you are absent to visit colleges or see Obama inaugurated, so long as a parent calls the kid in “sick.” That way the school still gets its proper funding.</p>
<p>Once I understood this, I didn’t get frustrated about it anymore. Yes, you must lie, but it doesn’t hurt anyone to do so.</p>
<p>Letting students skip school for “catch up days” or “mental health days” does nothing to teach responsible time management. It’s also crass to lie about your health (i.e. claiming to be ill when you are not) to get out of an obligation. By doing so, you are undermining the consideration that truly ill people deserve.</p>
<p>My DD’s HS is a county public magnet on a semester system. Students who miss 10 days during the semester for whatever reason (including illness) have to leave the school and go back to their home district. 10 absences = no course credit, no exceptions. Miraculously, student absences are extremely rare. This means that the teachers can really work with the student who misses classes because of a legitimate illness. The problems begin when a critical mass of parents starts taking their children out of school for vacations, “mental health days” etc. yet still expect the faculty to provide accommodation in the form of makeup work packets, alternate testing dates, one on one instruction, and so forth for the absent student.</p>
<p>Our public high school has the same policy. Missing school for a college visit or to be interviewed by a college for a scholarship is considered an unexcused absence. The work missed is not allowed to be made up. It really creates a dilemma when a student is taking 4 or 5 AP classes and can’t make up any of the work. We haven’t been put in this situation yet but I’m honestly not sure what I’d do.</p>
<p>I am also a teacher and agree this happens a lot (and usually by the same kids). The other kids in the class are at a disadvantage because these kids get extra time to prepare and often access to what was on the test. To even the playing field, many teachers at my school offer “extra credit” to those students who take tests on time. Don’t worry, the tests are hard enough that the “extra credit” makes the grade more fair. If the student is absent, they will take an alternative form with no “extra credit”. Any student that misses an exam for a school approved activity is allowed to have the extra credit (as long as they notify the teacher in advance of the activity and arrange a time to make up the test or to take it early). Also if a student knows they are going to miss an exam ahead of time for any reason, they are given the extra credit as long as they arrange to take the test before their absence. It works like a charm–usually 100% attendance on test day!</p>
<p>I know we’re playing a “game” but we are legally not allowed to penalize a students grade for an excused absence. It’s really too bad because the overwhelming majority of students and parents do the right thing.</p>
<p>“The problems begin when a critical mass of parents starts taking their children out of school for vacations, “mental health days” etc. yet still expect the faculty to provide accommodation in the form of makeup work packets, alternate testing dates, one on one instruction, and so forth for the absent student.”</p>
<p>NJSue, you are spot on!</p>
<p>Here’s a funny story of what happened to me recently. Parents pulled kid out of school for an extended 2 week vacation on a sunny tropical island. In order to receive state funding for the student, the school “pretends” it is independent study. As such, all teachers prepare a work package for the student to take on vacation. When the kid returned to school, it was make up test day for all students who had missed the last test, and said student was required to take the test. Subsequently, the mother left a very angry message on my voicemail about how it was “unfair” that her child had to take a make up test on her first day back from her vacation. LOL</p>
<p>The strict attendance policies of many schools are, in my view, a backlash against too many families trying to expand the definition of a legitimate absence to include “whatever is convenient for the family.” School administrators can’t always judge what a legitimate reason is or is not, so they simply say, “No.” </p>
<p>It is a dilemma when a student must miss class for a scholarship interview, the funeral of a family member, etc. We have decided that we will never lie. If we as a family believe that the occasion is serious enough to warrant an absence, we will tell the school the truth and take the consequences of the absence. If we cannot do this without feeling a little embarrassed, it is probably a sign that our reason isn’t really good enough, and the student should be in school.</p>
<p>Don’t take your kids out for “mental health days” (not college visit or physical health days) until they are in their senior year. Your kid will be a joke among fellow students who believe in attending classes, no matter how many A’s s/he gets.</p>
<p>What about when they reach 18? Aren’t they allowed to sign themselves in and out?</p>
<p>lullina, I’m sorry, but that is just silly. My son was in a group of kid who were all competing to be in the top 5% of their class. These kids worked hard in school, sports, ecs, jobs and so on. I cannot think of one of them who did not take the occasional mental health day. Just as adults do with personal days. </p>
<p>I’d like to meet these mythical students who think one or two mental health days a year turns their peer into a “joke.”</p>
<p>Once again, re-directing to the OP’s point, which was not family vacations, college visits or even “mental health” days. It was skipping specific days and classes to avoid scheduled tests and assignments that are due. </p>
<p>But since the thread has left it’s original track - </p>
<p>Our hs excused absence:
- has a doctor’s note
- has an obituary/program from funeral attended
- has a notice from a college, signed and dated, that they were visiting there. Maximum of 5 college visit days between junior and senior year allowed.
- exceptions at the discretion of the Assist Principals</p>
<p>Non excused absences (students are allowed 5 per semester, 10 per year):
- everything else, including family vacations.</p>
<p>The only time kids are prohibited from making up work is for egregious absences - generally participation in a “skip day.” The other times the school has refused to allow makeup work was when local professional sports teams win a championship and the city decided to host a “championship parade” in the middle of a weekday. Parents and kids claim this is a “once in a lifetime event”… except that the football team has won 3 superbowls in the last 10 years and the baseball team has won 2 world series, and the basketball team won a championship. So… not exactly once in a lifetime. Frankly I do not understand how the mayor can schedule these things during school hours and call it a “Family event.” Hello Mr Mayor - do you THINK about the message you are sending? OK, I understood it the first time the Red Sox won the World Series after 80+ years. But as for the rest of the parades? No. And I am a huge Patriots fan. Meantime, 1/3 of the school was absent, but the rest of the kids and teachers showed up. Are they supposed to sit around and waste their time and have the teacher review the same material the next day when the parade-goers return? That’s just disrespectful to the people who went to school.</p>
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<p>An 18-year-old student may have the legal right and the practical ability to skip school, but the school has no legal obligation to provide that student a diploma in such a case. You sign yourself out at your own risk. I think the debate here is whether parents should provide cover for a student’s absence, not necessarily the absence itself.</p>
<p>Lullinatalk – we don’t run our lives by what other hs students may think of our decisions. I couldn’t care less what my kids’ classmates’ opinions are.</p>
<p>I’m taking my D out for 2 days to go to an admitted students weekend for her college. I don’t even know if that’s considered an acceptable excuse. They’ll hear an earful from me if it’s not.</p>
<p>Honestly I feel like some people are a bit too wrapped up in the “competition” aspect of high school. My kids did not want to take days off because they would get too behind, and I doubt that kids who do take off regularly really get an “advantage.” If they do it once or twice who cares? </p>
<p>But this is high school and these are kids and sometimes they have entirely unreasonable demands placed on them. Like when (true story) there’s an out of town track meet the weekend before three AP exams, and a gratuitous paper due that week as well. Often, with my kids at least, there was no procrastination involved (the book for the paper was just assigned or finished…) In that type of situation, which in my experience is more common than, oops I didn’t study I’ll pretend I’m sick, I think its perfectly reasonable to skip the Monday before the AP exams, when nothing much is happening and half the kids are gone taking other AP exams,just to catch up. I know from CC posts, although not on this thread, that that is widely accepted and practiced. I have suggested this to my kids on a couple of occasions, but they were too conscientious to take me up on it. I don’t feel any lying is involved, because the note would say they didn’t feel well and they certainly didn’t (stressed out with two hours of sleep) in that situation. </p>
<p>As far as skipping on an actual test day or when a paper is due, this never arose. I think most kids would want to do what they needed to to avoid that, since most teachers are on to this. </p>
<p>I don’t see why the competition should be the overarching concern. I have a feeling that some of these other schools may be a bit more amped up and focused on that. Our hs was a high level academic magnet, but it didn’t rank. My kids, at least, never talked or thought about how or what anyone else was doing. They just wanted to do survive themselves. I think for the most part this type of parent endorsed skipping is more about avoiding a kid’s ulcer, or utter exhaustion than getting an advantage, and the parents who can only see it from the competition viewpoint, may have their own priorities.</p>
<p>poetgrl, pugmadkate, Olympic – you are my heroes!</p>
<p>There is a lot of moralizing on this thread, and a lot of assumptions about a whole class of students that are somehow inferior to a “typical” CC student – kids who are supposedly getting away with all sorts of stuff which is somehow insulting to some parents of high achieving hard workers.</p>
<p>The hs schedule is ridiculous for any child in honors and AP who also wants to do ECs, hold a job, and (gasp!) have a social life. College is so much easier for so many kids because suddenly they actually have time.</p>
<p>Our hs DID require assignments be turned in on the day they were due even if a child was absent or there would be penalties. That seemed fair.</p>
<p>If my kids were incredibly stressed out, they stayed home. I have suffered from perfectionism and clinical depression my whole life, and I was not going to pass on to them any kind of “suck it up at all costs” mentality. Yes, there are things in life we all have to do whether we feel up to it or not. Attend funerals for loved ones, not let a whole group of people down on a big project – but we can learn (and teach to our kids) discernment about what is big stuff and what is small stuff. An assignment for high school English? Not so much.</p>
<p>I have achieved things and have wonderful values, thank you very much. So have my Ds, who skip no classes in college.</p>
<p>Sheesh.</p>
<p>Highest grades my D ever got was during her senior year of high school - straight As. That year we realized that school was getting in the way of homework and study time. So she missed about 30 days and moved on to college.</p>
<p>^^
Were those 30 days reported as sick, or were they just unexcused?</p>