Parental Advice

Parents Forum
1

<p>I was recently accepted Early Decision (ED) to Carnegie Mellon. I did the whole process myself, including paying to take the SATS, making sure the application was paid for, paying the deposit fee, doing the app by myself, making sure everything is sent in a timely manner, finding the college I <<< wanted to go to and notifying the college of any changes in address/parental status/jobs and change in classes (I move a lot, and my parents arent good at keeping jobs…)</p>

<p>Anyway. I did my part, and now my parents dont want to do theirs. The priority deadline for financial aid is passed, and my parents do not want to fill out the forms. Someone told my mother at the grocery store that they never heard of the school, and now my mom thinks it is a no name/community college school. I was kind of upset at this point, because it was my dream school, and i tried really hard on the application (making sure it was sent extra early, having an interview, spending a month revising my essays). </p>

<p>My parents made less than 20,000$ this year together, not counting Unemployment or Alternative Encome, which puts them at around $55,000. My parents have no intent on paying for any part of my college education, and are unable to get loans because they filed for bankruptsy. I cant get any loans because i dont turn 18 until im already in school. </p>

<p>Now my parents did fill out the Early Decision financial aid estimate form, the fafsa and the Carnegie Mellon financial aid form, because they did all this before they went to the grocery store. They DID NOT fill sign the Carnegie Mellon financial aid estimate sheet, did not send W-2s, and did not send tax returns. The financial aid estimate i got back still has about a $6,000 gap every year, plus whatever Carnegie Mellon sponsored loans they are offering ($8,000) a year. Im confident that even if I do get my parents to send in these forms, that they will most certainly NOT pay this gap money. </p>

<p>I tried to convince them that the school that I picked out was decent, by showing them US rankings. They are unwilling to look up ANYTHING about the school, because they say they have 3 kids, and have too much responsibility to be worrying about my college future. They also said that if i mention financial aid again, they will ground me from the internet, which I need to do some internet aspects of some of my classes (blackboard software).</p>

<p>In what direction should I be looking in terms of what to do next? Perhaps my parents are just misdirected? My mother only went to community college, and my stepfather didnt graduate high school and does not have a GED.</p>

<p>erm, help?</p>

2

<p>You could try contacting your guidance counselor at school and seeing if they’d be willing to talk to your parents. I’ve also heard success stories from some people on CC with getting admissions officers or such from the college to talk to the parents and try to get them to realize how big of a deal it is. Are there any teachers you have a good relationship with at school and could get them to talk with your parents about what’s going on?</p>

3

<p>Am I understanding that even if they comply with the paperwork, you STILL won’t be able to afford it? It’s a shame, but are you also looking at other acceptable options?</p>

4

<p>As a parent, it irks me that some parents don’t feel responsible for their kids education. My personal feeling is that I brought lives into this world, so it is my responsibility to educate them to the best of my ability…which means a college education.</p>

<p>If it is just a matter of them not thinking it was a good school, prove it to them that it is.</p>

5

<p>I agree that you should enlist the help of your guidance counselor. Perhaps you and the counselor can contact the college for ideas and suggestions.<br>
I also agree that you should have a second option in case the difference is too great. Can you get a deferred acceptance from Carnegie Mellon, and then take a year or two at a local community college? Dealing with family issues is complex, and you are doing a great job of working through the details on your own. I think a college fin aid office will recognize that and want to help a student like you. Good luck.</p>

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<p>“My personal feeling is that I brought lives into this world, so it is my responsibility to educate them to the best of my ability…which means a college education.”</p>

<p>But does it mean a private college education? Their biases aside, this is of family making less than 20K a year, plus “Unemployment or Alternative Uncome”, whatever that means. Where is the 6K going to come from? Maybe the “Carnegie Mellon sponsored loans they are offering ($8,000)”. Not sure I understood this part.</p>

7

<p>would your parents look at this article? [America’s</a> 25 New Elite ‘Ivies’ | Newsweek Best High Schools | Newsweek.com](<a href=“http://www.newsweek.com/id/39401]America’s”>America's 25 New Elite 'Ivies')</p>

<p>Call up Carnegie Mellon and talk to them, you need to get an extension on the financial aid deadline. Hopefully one of the suggestions you’ve been given here will help persuade your parents that Carnegie Mellon is a top notch school.</p>

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<p>Glad that mathmom posted. Tell your parents that mathmom’s son turned down Harvard for CMU because CMU is far stronger than Harvard in her son’s chosen field. Tis the truth!
Your mom should not be listening to people at the grocery store. Higher education professionals and companies have extremely high opinion of CMU.</p>

<p>Ask CMU to extend a deadline while explaining your family’s financial situation. Then get your parents to fill out the form. Good luck, and congratulations on being accepted into an awesome school.</p>

9

<p>I’d have to agree with Shrinkrap, is it likely your parents can pay the gap being unemployed with 3 kids even if they wanted to? And $8K in loans just for 1 year? I’m hoping you applied to some cheaper schools too.</p>

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<p>you are probably freaking your parents out with a $52000/year school, regardless of its reputation. They have 3 kids (of whom I assume you are the oldest). Getting 52K/year down to $6000 a year is good, but maybe you should try to understand where your parents are coming from, maybe a state university at $20k before aid is more in the capabilities of the family, ie maybe you could get a full ride there.</p>

<p>You can get a great education at almost any school if you work at it.</p>

11

<p>$6000 a year in total costs for college is very inexpensive. Most state schools do not meet full need. This student did well in the financial aid department…but the parents do need to complete the forms. </p>

<p>What is “alternative income”?</p>

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<p>I’m confused…what is left for the parents to fill out??</p>

12

<p>Alternative Income= child support, unemployment</p>

<p>My parents didnt even let me visit the state school, so im not sure its money. I had to make other arrangements if i wanted to visit colleges, and i had to make them 2-3 months ahead of time. My parents think more along the line of, “we are so broke she is going to get almost full financial aid wherever she goes”. When you apply to Carnegie Mellon ED, if you get accepted, you get 100% of your financial need covered, unlike my state school, but there is still a sense of worry because of the form issue.</p>

<p>Also, 4 kids counting my self, and my sister has a friend that moved in because his parents threw him out, though he wasnt on the forms.</p>

<p>To the last post, if you read everything i wrote, i mentioned what else we were missing.</p>

<p>I tried the website thing multiple times, they refuse to look.</p>

13

<p>Try to get their 2007 tax form and put all the numbers in from that. It is your best guess at this point.</p>

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<p>Well no, but I have thought about it.</p>

<p>My stepfather has had about 6/7 different jobs this year, each one with a completely different payscale. My mother was pregnant, so she was out of work for awhile.</p>

<p>I will see what I can do as far as contacting the school goes, because I worked for this.</p>

15

<p>I may be missing something, but child support is from someone other than your stepfather? If YOUR bio father involved can he fill out the paperwork? Mabye it’s too late for that.</p>

<p>Of course it’s not what your asking, but to me, I can’t imagine making 20K + “unemployment and child support” is not a cost of living issue.</p>

16

<p>Not sure. He isnt really mentioned anywhere on my common app now- he was on there to begin with but i had it taken off because he will not contribute financially, which CMU seemed just fine with. Has mostly to do with the fact my mother married…</p>

<p>Probably not.</p>

17

<p>Print out the “new ivies” list and tape it to the fridge. Or leave it on the kitchen table. They might not look at it on the website, but they might secretly read it when you aren’t around if you leave it in several places around the house! I know I would. That said, there are parents whose minds are just closed to certain schools no matter what anyone says to them. Of course either way, it doesn’t mean they will or can help you financially. Definitely contact CMU and see if they can help you figure this out. Is there another relative who might cosign a moderate loan for you? Good luck. I think you will come up with a solution.</p>