Now that I have thirty-somethings, it has been fun to see what I’ve passed on to them that stuck and what didn’t. I think the one thing I would say often that I hear them repeat is “save it for the car.” That was often whispered at church or in other settings when it was not appropriate to laugh or comment on something. It was used quite often for a period of time as our music minister transitioned from his dyed hair to his natural grey hair and his head looked like a patchwork quilt of colors, but for so many other situations beyond that. Sometimes when we’re all together and something strikes us as quirky, but comment is not appropriate for the surroundings, I’ll hear one of the kids say it to the other just based on a look. It makes me proud they absorbed that as I notice the tendency on social media of people saying what they want when they want without any regard for kindness.
What little tidbit of advice will your kids remember and hopefully pass on to their own children?
When our oldest son went to middle school, H drove him the first day and when he dropped him off, my son said: “Please don’t yell out that you love me…” H said, “Ok, I won’t, but don’t forget that I do.” To this day, “don’t forget” is how everyone in our family (except for middle son) ends our phone calls, emails and texts, as well as what we say when we part ways in person. It’s a family code for “I love you.” D has taught it to her bf.
Another expression we have is taken from an old British show, “Keeping Up Appearances.” When something bizarre or strange happens, someone will say: “More tea, vicar?” I honestly can’t remember how or when we began using this expression, but my 2 oldest kids, who are now in their late 20’s, used to watch the show with MIL in the mid-90’s.
My mother used to quote to me an Italian proverb which translates literally as “If you walk in those fields, you pick those flowers”. (Similar to saying actions have consequences, but the emphasis is more on habitual behaviors.)
I was amused to hear my daughter quote this back to me recently.
We live in a college town, and I would read articles to my teens about accidents, DUI, etc…and when they would leave for evenings out I would say “don’t be the tragic headline” . Now when we leave for a trip, they say that to me. We also are fond of referring to ourselves as a team – they will thank us for help with whatever, and we simply respond “we’re a team, and teams stick together”.
We don’t say Good Luck before a test or something involving a lot of hassle. We say a Japanese word - Ganbatte - which has meaning of keep trying and persevere. I know my youngest uses it but I don’t know about my oldest.
All to me, from the people indicated. My parents: “This too shall pass.” My mom: “Little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.” My sister: “A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.” My dad: “de gustibus non est disputandum” (there is no disputing about taste, or there is no accounting for taste).
I read this as “Parental words of wisdom that suck.”
Some things the stuck include (from my grandmother) - “pretty is as pretty does.”
Another that I remember is “be big” … I try to be big, but I admit I’m not always able to do thing right thing when others are not.
@“Snowball City” There is a saying in Russian that my wife tells our kid (and me) before a test “Ни пуха, ни пера” (neither fur nor feathers). It is an old hunter’s version of “Break a leg”, but has spread and is used for anybody in any situation in which an American would say “Good Luck”.
Oh, and the correct response would be “К чёрту” (“go to the devil”, meaning “go to Hell”).
Sorry isn’t something you say it’s something you do
Look with your eyes, not with your hands
Pretty is only skin deep but mean goes the whole way down
and my mother’s favorite about any hardship, icky food, bad experience – “It builds character” My nana was fond of the weirdest saying " they shot Lincoln and they hang wallpaper, but they let you get away with that?!"