Yes @L_NewEngland that’s a big piece of it. Sometimes things just suck, and the fact that we can pivot and make beauty from the sucky thing speaks to resilience, versus a “magical” force that the world is just going to be fair and work out in our favor.
My mom dying by suicide did not “happen for a (good) reason” that I feel any obligation to accept as being “for the best.” Of course, I did grow and learn from it, and her death has sprouted forth many great things in my life, and in the world.
Another “problem” with “everything happens for a reason” in the college application space is that this implies that one kid was “meant” to get their dream school, while another kid wasn’t. So I’m “meant” to go to Harvard, but sorry kid…you just weren’t meant for your dream…it’s all for the best really, just trust me on this, as I put on my crimson and gold sweatshirt. :).
I’ll add that I do happen to come at this from a place of faith that all things can be used for good, which actually does NOT support “everything happens for a reason” thinking. (For more on that, I would refer to the amazing theologian Kate Bowler’s book called “Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved.”)
Finally, I’ll also say: hey if an idea gives someone comfort, then who am I to say it’s not the right vibe? I’m all for you leaning into what works for you and your family, @Lindagaf! 
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