<p>i dont want to sound whiny or garner sympathy and this is very hard for me to admit and to discuss, but i wanted advise as to whether i should disclose some of the personal problems i have had to face during high school. i was bullied during 9th grade and the situation at my home wasnt good either (no parental support etc…), i always felt like an outsider at my school and did have friends but never opened up to them, i had very low self-esteem and even though i felt very deeply about passions i never wanted to participate in anything or do anything, because no one cared and no one would listen. in 11th grade i moved to america and i have done great in school, my teachers love me and now i am ready to bounce back up and face any challenge. should i tell colleges this? this may not seem like a major problem but as someone who went through this i know how hurtful and demeaning this can be. any help will be appreciated.</p>
<p>You can write a very positive essay about how moving to America transformed your life and made school that much more exciting because you were able to leave behind a school where you were not thriving. Don’t dwell on the negative experience; it was after all in 9th and 10th grades. Focus on the wonderful change and opportunities your have had since then (give concrete details). Talk about the passions that you have been able to cultivate since moving to the US. The adcoms are more interested in the person you are and have the ability of becoming than in the person you were.</p>
<p>thanks 
but wont ‘coming to america’ be a cliche, i was planning on writing on the small organisation i started and the idea behind it (i tutored some street kids for a summer and that gave me this idea), actually i might be able to tie together a story, all i really want to get across is that i just need a chance</p>
<p>The idea is not so much to focus on the “coming to America” since that would give too much weight to the negative side of your story. Indeed, you want to talk about your small organization. You can weave the previous bad experience and the new possiblities opened up by your move into this story rather than make it the focus of your essay.</p>
<p>yes i think that is what i am going to do now, i need to explain things out, hopefully columbia will understand</p>
<p>The underlying idea sounds fine but I’d suggest that you focus in on one story, not try to tell the entire tale of your life since coming to America. For instance, focus in on how you learned to deal with Bullies and being different and what that taught you about compassion and helping others. Or focus on your home situation. Don’t try to cover every thing that has happened: focus on the specific events that tell something important about you.</p>