Parents' Advice to a Jobless Kid?

Parent Cafe
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<p>“When I told my dad that if I didn’t have a paying job by age 20, I’d join the military on that very same day, he told me I was acting like an idiot. I don’t understand.”</p>

<p>Actually, I would tell my kids the same thing if they said that. You don’t join the military just because you’re desperate to get a paying job. You join the military with the full understanding that you will probably be sent somewhere in the middle east and you must have the patriotism to realize if necessary, you have to be willing to fight and die for your country.</p>

<p>But I think just about any job would be good for you, if you can get it. Don’t be choosy, there are always crummy jobs out there that nobody wants. Lower your standards. It will help you socialize and overcome your shyness, if you can work in customer service. Just consider it practice for the rest of your life. Plenty of kids don’t have jobs until they are out of college. If they have spent their high school years working hard at school, extracurricular sports, volunteering, etc…many parents consider they are doing their jobs.</p>

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<p>In my old working-class NYC neighborhood, there was some reluctance to encouraging high school students with college prospects from doing a part-time job if the family could find some other way to cover the shortfall. Some factors include the fact the parents/neighbors were mostly working such menial jobs themselves, wanted their kids to aspire for more if they could, concerns over distractions from academics/ECs, and from fears the paychecks would provide inducements for such kids to drop out of high school and join them at work. The last was a valid concern considering some of them did that themselves and did not wish their kids to repeat their mistake. </p>

<p>Incidentally, I did have a part-time job from junior high till early high school. Ended up having to drop it freshman year because my grades took a nosedive. It was around that time that I figured out why the vast majority of parents at my urban public magnet high school strongly discouraged their kids from having part-time jobs. Unless one was a genius and an extraordinarily efficient time manager…it was either academics/ECs or part-time job…rarely both.</p>

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<p>The process of getting a job is NOT fun, endless applications, far too much rejection for your self esteem. But keep at it, don’t expect it to be easy. I have a guess as to which communities you might be in, and know they are going through tough times right now (Wisconsinite here) If nothing works out, don’t sweat it, and put your all into school and your extra curricular activities. </p>

<p>This fixation with working during HS is a particular American thing, and in much of the world students your age are supposed to be students only, as school is valued very highly, and worth all your attention.</p>

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<p>In many parts of the world…only those who made it into a college-prep oriented academic high school or one of the vocational schools would have those expectations. The only kids who’d work from 13-18 tend to be kids who didn’t make it into either and joined the workforce as unskilled laborers, farmers, or apprentices to a trade.</p>

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It’s good that you’re talking directly to the places that might employ you, walking up to the manager, leaving your application, and returning. </p>

<p>Did you also make a one-page resume with your contact info? You should. </p>

<p>Then, while waiting to recontact each store, try taking your resume in to leave with some of the people in your community who know lots of other people in various small businesses. For example: stop in on the Chamber of Commerce, area churches (talk to the pastor), business clubs such as Kiwanis, Lions, Knights of Columbus. Ask them if they know anyone who’s hiring right now. Leave your resume with them, if they’ll take it. Tell them you really want and need a first job, and you’re a hard worker ready to do a good job for someone. (That needs to be true. Nobody gives you a job because you want it; they give you a job because they believe you’re ready to work hard for them.)</p>

<p>Check for local ads on Craigslist, in your city or the listed city closest to you. </p>

<p>Is your school Guidance Counselor any help? Tell her you’re trying to locate work, then ask if she knows where other students are working right now. See if she’ll introduce or put you in touch with them at the high school. Ask them how they like their job, and do they know if there’s any hiring going on? You don’t have to already be their friend to “network” and ask them about their jobs. Ask them to mention your name at their workplace, especially if they’ve heard of an opening. Then, when you come in, it will be much smoother to talk with a manager by saying, “X, from my school, told me he’s working here, so I thought I’d come by to see if there’s anything opening up soon.”</p>

<p>Just keep trying. Don’t give up, and don’t take any rejections personally. The economy is very, very difficult now. Keep trying. You’ll actually get better at asking for work each time you do it, as long as you don’t carry discouragement from one location into the next. Stay positive and act like each attempt is your very first, best try. Sounds crazy but this is what worked for my kids when job-hunting: perseverence and a very positive spirit. Envision yourself working and something will break positively for you.</p>

<p>Some cities now are really brutal on young people seeking work, even for low wage jobs. You may not be successful before college. If you decide, after many months of looking, that nothing is happening for you on the job front in your location, then do something else worthwhile with your time instead, until you move or the economy improves in your region. You might end up not getting your first job until college age. That’s okay as long as you gave it everything you’ve got.</p>

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<p>Cobrat…I too came from from a similar neigborhood but I had college grad parents. My parents did’nt think a menial job for a kid was important but I did. I went against my parents wishes and worked my first job in a local store. That job proved to be a great motivator and also served to teach me some important lifelong skills in running a business. The owner was a 50 plus year old woman who taught me how to deal with customers, the problems that arise, and the importance of providing the best service possible in the product we were selling. It was a great experience for a 16 year old kid and something that I never could have learned in a highschool class. This is one of the major reasons I think kids should work. Every early job experience is a learning experience and memory. Kids are able to build a skill set based on these jobs that might seem unimportant but are really just as valuable as some HS classes and more valuable in terms of life skills. </p>

<p>All of my kids worked because I did’nt want to rob them of experiences they would find humorous in latter years as well as important in dealing with the public and individual people. When topics like this come up my husband still talks about a McDonalds boss he had who was a former marine drill sargeant. The stories are great and the experiences he had are hysterical. </p>

<p>OP it is not so much about the money (although my kids worked and contributed to their expensive ski equipment or lift tickets). I would not have permitted a job to get in the way of their school work but I did and still do view work experience as an education outside of the classroom. Parents who discourage teen jobs are not looking at it as having the educational benefits which IMO is very worth while.</p>

<p>My daughter had dated a guy who was in college and never worked. At the time, my daughter thought it was really odd and felt badly about going out with him when the money came from his parents. She also felt that he must of had a poor work ethic because he was fine about not working at all when she and most other students were.</p>

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<p>Dd never had a paying job until she was 18 and the summer before freshman year. She had a hard time getting one because she waited until after she graduated to look. She was also going away to college and no one wanted to hire her because of that. I suggest you get one during the springtime. I didn’t push her to work while she is at college but she did find a small part-time job. It keeps her busy in her free time.</p>

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<p>You note you ran XC & Track. That counts as experience. Have you looked into any local running or sport stores? Even the ‘big boxes’ such as Sports Authority or Dicks could be good. How about an athletic shoe store such as Foot Locker? </p>

<p>Have a good attitude, look the manager in the eye (as opposed to looking at the floor or your shoes), speak clearly (don’t mumble) and ask for a job. </p>

<p>My daughter got an afterschool babysitter job last spring that lasted through the summer. It paid quite well and she had fun. Perhaps you could look for something like that. A family with young boys might like someone that’s not shy about taking them outside to play. (Do you have a driver’s license and access to a car? That is a huge selling point for these sorts of jobs). Best way to find these is to ask around, look on Craigs List and put a flyer up at the grocery store or local bulletin board.</p>

<p>I just re-read your first post and am not clear if you are looking for a job now or for Summer 2012, as you state you still have a track season left. If it’s for the Summer, you are a bit early. Most retail or entry level jobs want you to start as soon as you are offered the job. Can you swing 10-15 hours/week starting now until the end of school year? If you just want a summer job, start looking at your Spring break.</p>

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<p>I’d urge you to continue to volunteer, as you have in the past. A good track record as a volunteer, along with a positive letter of reference, will be a big plus for your future resume, and may help you get that first paying job. It could even lead directly to a paying job in the same organization.</p>

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<p>I have two sons, current senior and junior in high school. Younger son told be he was going to go fill out some applications. I told him that I’d prefer that he didn’t. I explained that he already has two jobs: Get the very best grades possible and continue participating in high school varsity sports (he plays baseball, his brother is a baseball/football guy). I told him that I’ll get him anything he really needs and do my damnedest to provide anything he really wants. I went on the explain that however many hours he spent at a part-time job took away from study and/or practice time…and that he’ll eventually spend a lifetime working.</p>

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<p>Obviously, reasonable people can disagree. My kids all had summer jobs by the time they were 14 or 15 - my sons had paying jobs as little league umpires when they were just 12 and 13. None of them have ever had any trouble getting jobs in the summer and after school in high school and in college, and getting the jobs they wanted after college. Neither they nor I ever felt that their jobs interfered with their studies. (They didn’t have jobs during the season they played their sports, however - that’s probably too much demand on your time. But you indicate your season is over, correct?) My kids have developed lots of practical people skills and financial awareness from their jobs and paychecks and I think it’s been an invaluable part of their “education.”</p>

<p>If you feel you want a job go get one. The first one is the hardest, so just make yourself do the things you need to do to get a job. Each new job will be easier to land. Contacts are hugely helpful - you don’t need to know the hiring officer, just knowing someone who works there is a big leg up. Chances are, if one of your friends works somewhere that has an opening you’ll have a better shot at it than you will cold-calling some employer. 90% of what employers are looking for in most jobs is simply someone who will show up. Demonstrate reliability and you’ll be a valued employee.</p>