Last year, I struggled a lot freshman year. First semester is pass/fail, yet I got a couple C’s in quantitative reasoning and chemistry; second semester, I got a C in Micro. So understandably, they want me to get better grades since they’re paying for my college education. Which, if everything goes well, I should have a B in Macro, B in my history class, and B+'s in my political science / religion class (had to take the previous three this semester for distribution requirements, I’m considering to major in econ.)
However, the threats became serious, even when I told them them the estimated grades above. They thought I was aiming too low by aiming to get B’s/B+'s (even though the average GPA at my college is a 3.3) and think I can’t major in anything because I didn’t get an A in a class. When my dad joked I would major in gender studies, I told him the joke hurt and my mom told me I needed a trigger warning. I would safely say the home life is not healthy and I can be exposed to emotional abuse from them from time to time. She also told me to “pull me up by my bootstraps,” even though I’m pretty sure I have depression due to bullying/ostracization I’ve had to deal with while being at my college. There was a girl my freshman year who went through similar problems but got all A’s. Yet I don’t think my parents should be comparing us because our situations are different and we are different people.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I talked to the dean about the school providing my tuition, yet that would be completely unhelpful since I’m trying to transfer out.
Have you visited the counselling office? You are at Wellesley College. They have a lot of resources to use. If your parents can afford to pay but refuse to pay Wellesley will not give you a full ride grant. Also your plans to transfer to Ohio State are doubtful with a low GPA.
Wellesley is a tough school. All Bs is pretty good there. I have a kid who didn’t get an A at her tough school til junior year. But guess what? She completed her degree on time nonetheless, and is in grad school now.
I wouldn’t argue with your parents. Tell them you hope to do better next semester. Don’t engage. Soon enough you will have your degree, just don’t antagonize them. I kind of doubt they mean it about pulling you out – they are invested, too. They just think threatening and making fun of you will somehow improve your grades.
Agree that you should go to the counseling office when you get back to school.
You said you are trying to transfer out but the title says your parents already pulled you out? Did you actually withdraw from the school? My daughter is in a similar situation. We wanted her to take a leave last semester, but she promised to buckle down and work hard. It didn’t work (she dropped down to two classes and was going to take an incomplete in one of those), so we told her she had to take a leave of absence for at least a semester and maybe a year. We also told her she has to pay for next semester by taking out loans (yes, we have to co-sign but she doesn’t know that- she just knows she’s going to be paying for the next semester).
Anyway, this is all to say that there are other options to dropping out- maybe you could negotiate with your parents to take a leave of absence? And you should see someone if you think you’re depressed- if can wreak havoc on school performance in addition to making you feel bad.
Can you suck up to them and explain that you just need another semester to get it together? What if you leave and it’s worse at the new place? I’d try like heck to stay put. I don’t think I’d want to stay home with your parents. No offense but they sound like a couple of yo-yos.
Last year, I struggled a lot freshman year. First semester is pass/fail, yet I got a couple C’s in quantitative reasoning and chemistry; second semester, I got a C in Micro and a B- in the equivalent of AB Caculus. So understandably, they want me to get better grades since they’re paying for my college education. Yet I got a B- in Macroeconomics, B in my political science, and an A- in my religion class (had to take the previous two this semester for distribution requirements, I’m considering to major in econ.) Yet they find this unacceptable and will not pay for another semester at Wellesley College, though they surprisingly understood that I had mental health troubles. But they essentially said I’m on my own finding something else, which is something I find ridiculous.
However, the threats became serious, even when I told them them the estimated grades above. They thought I was aiming too low by aiming to get B’s/B+'s (even though the average GPA at Wellesley is a 3.3) and think I can’t major in anything because I didn’t get an A in a class. When my dad joked I would major in gender studies, I told him the joke hurt and my mom told me I needed a trigger warning. I would safely say the home life is not healthy and I can be exposed to emotional abuse from them from time to time. She also told me to “pull me up by my bootstraps,” even though I’m pretty sure I have depression due to bullying/ostracization I’ve had to deal with while being at my college. There was a girl my freshman year who went through similar problems but got all A’s. Yet I don’t think my parents should be comparing us because our situations are different and we are different people.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I talked to the dean about the school providing my tuition, yet that would be completely unhelpful since I’m trying to transfer out for fall 2018 and already have sub-par grades. The community college by my home has a bad reputation also.
If your parents have already made you withdraw from Wellesley, I think your only option is to go to community college and transfer from there. If they have not made you withdraw yet, come up with a plan in writing as to how you are going to bring your grades up. Like: I will go to Prof X’s office hours on these days and times; I will use the Writing Resource Center before any written assignments; I will sign up for tutoring for X classes (most schools offer tutoring), etc. This will show them you are serious about bringing up your grades.
For typical parents, they don’t want to pay extra $$ for a top school that you are not doing well in.
It may make sense to pay less $ to attend a state school that is cheaper.
For toxic parents, they will never tell you that you are good enough. Spend your energy getting a degree and moving out.
i think it is good that you went from C’s to Bs as that is showing that you are learning to study better.