Actually, @surfcity , both! And I love the tictac idea, I’ll use that along with the pre measured liquids! Thanks!
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I made checklists for my folks for caregivers to tick off as the accomplished tasks throughout the day. Would something like that be helpful? Maybe connected with timers that go off twice a day for morning and evening medicines?
Pharmacists also might have ideas or alternative ways of packaging meds for seniors. Not sure how this applies for liquids/syringes, but could be worth checking. At my parents AL, only the outside pharmacies able to blister pack pills individually were used. Good luck.
This is smart. I was going to suggest a visual reminder such as a button or something, but even better to use something that can be safely ingested!
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I like the m&m idea. Another thought could be a slip of paper as reminder of the liquid med.
I was thinking maybe a Post-it thin slip for each day, or perhaps two differently colored slips for the two liquid meds. To be moved to the side or bottom of the organizer when meds are taken.
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The diverging opinions about mom driving are about to come up again. I have spent the last 14 days with her , 24/7, and I am more certain than ever that they have to take her keys.
Told Local and Preferred that this morning. Preferred said meh, she never drives now anyway because of her meds, no need. Local did not respond at all . She can’t remember when she took her meds, often IF she took her meds. My position is there’s no way to assure she won’t decide she’s fine and just drive to town some morning. keys, please.
But now I am getting “you are just shocked because you never see her as much as we do and it’s fine to have an opinion but it doesn’t effect you so thanks for the input but we’ll decide all this” kind of mansplaining. I am sad. and I miss my dad (my actual dad,not the dementia patient he became).
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Maybe AAA or AARP have some driver evaluation resources? Online or in person?
We never took the keys. We just let the car battery die and never revved it back up.
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Yes! You can say to the siblings that rather than it be their opinion vs yours, why don’t you let an expert decide? If your mom passes, you will stop saying she needs to turn over the keys.
I just searched “senior driving assessment occupational therapist massachusetts” and this is what came up:
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IMO, it’s often the family member who isn’t there 24/7 who is a better judge of the changes and impairments. Sometimes it’s so gradual that the people there day in and day out don’t notice as much.
Good luck. You are in a very tough spot 
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Good observation. I couldn’t believe the state of my parents’ house when I visited after awhile away. Almost a hoarding situation. I can’t figure out why my sister hadn’t been more concerned. I guess it just happened very gradually.
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That sounds familiar, as the one who doesn’t live near my mom. I definitely was seeing things more clearly. Sometimes they even say that. But the driving thing took 18 months past the time I first said we should take her keys away. Only after my sister was in the car when our mom drove the wrong way down a one-way street did she put her foot down … that was 18 months after I had been in the car when mom drove the wrong way down a one-way street. We were lucky.
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My sisters and I feel blessed that Mom willingly gave up the keys at 91–her idea! Her car needed and very expensive repair, more than the car was worth, and she didn’t see the need to get it fixed. Donated it to charity, easy-peasy. Her rationale was “you’re (i.e., me) retired, you can take me where I need to go!” Coming up on the first anniversary of her passing, missing her a lot at this point.
I was very proud of my mother giving up her car around age 86. It was her idea. She never drove more than 5 miles, and I had no concerns. (She had learned to drive in her 30s, was always a nervous but super cautious driver). But she felt perhaps her reflexes were no longer fast enough to be safe. Sold her 13 year old car with 13K miles to my daughter. Also proud to say she remained mostly independent. Ordered her groceries from Walmart. Arranged rides on the local senior pickup bus. She only needed me for eye appointments. (I later learned that she stopped going to the PCP - she had implied she would walk across the street on her own as needed.)
I can see why a situation where taking away the keys gives disappointment to parent, extra workload to local siblings. But if not safe, it needs to happen.
Same…and a note was placed on the battery saying that if anyone asked for it to be charged or replaced to call…and the number of one of the kids was put there. Doubtful the parent would have been able to open the hood!
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Only problem was my mother who had dementia figured out how to call AAA and get the battery jumped, a lot. We took the keys away.
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Mentioned this discussion to my husband. Ha, he suggested removing battery as stealth way to take away the keys. Of course risk is that the AAA agent might go ahead and sell a new battery
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We took the keys away, and my mom called around to local Subaru dealers until she found one sympathetic to the sweet old lady who had misplaced her keys. She was ready to go get another set of keys, with no VIN, no title, no nothing. That was the phase when I was running around after her canceling all the things she got up to. (Another was unwinding the $25,000 totally unnecessary bathroom renovation she decided she needed, and signed a contract for. The bathroom, which was 5 feet away from my father’s deathbed. Excellent idea! Your husband is dying, so let’s renovate his bathroom, which won’t let him sleep!).
DH has also suggested we just disconnect the battery, but the problem for us is injecting ourselves into a decision the rest of them are comfortable with. The question isn’t how to get her to stop, it’s how to convince the siblings, and I can’t.
I do have our state’s handy senior evaluation home assessment. She will be incandescently angry, but I will try to do it with her tomorrow and then she’ll not speak to me for a couple weeks. Otherwise the stay has gone pretty darn well!