On the house insurance piece. Currently dealing with this. Insurance agent told us to make sure we keep some furniture in the house. It will be an unoccupied house but can get coverage (at a slightly higher price than what my dad was paying). If it was empty, it would be considered an abandoned house. And no insurance company would touch it.
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We canāt get insurance for our cabin since itās not accessible to emergency vehicles in the winter. I just try not to worry about it.
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I was writing a TLDR post about moving MIL to a new AL facility this weekend. Suffice it to say that I orchestrated a very thorough clean out of all the crap that got moved to the new place. I was ruthless, but SIL was incredibly thankful, because she is unable to get through clutter - it immobilizes her. The place looks great, and it will be awesome after we hang pictures tomorrow.
MIL is completely overwhelmed by the move. She slept all day yesterday & all day today. When she is awake, she is confused. My goal in getting the new place in order quickly was to give her a comfortable new home so that she feels good about her surroundings. Her room is larger than the room she had, and itās sunny and bright. We will stay until Thursday morning to get her settled. Weāre coming in late morning tomorrow, to see what the weekday staff does in terms of getting her going in the morning.
Itās a stressful time around here!
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If nothing else, YOU and your H will
Feel better knowing you got the place in the best possible shape for her. It will take time to adjust
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We have been doing this as well. My mother was coaxed out to the outdoor patio today by my S/DiL ā mom is over the worst of the disorientation and you are right to set up a room with familiar objects and furnishings. My mom was so stressed and confused and then we got her workroom table and sewing basket there and she was better. But she does not acquire new information well or retain it well, so this has all been scary for her. She really does better with someone else leading her (like my DiL saying whatās down there? Letās go see) We had our summer picnic with all her grands and she lasted about 2 hours and was exhausted and in pain. She was in the house for the first time after AL decision and didnt seem anything but fine with her decision.
Hugs to everyone who is working so hard to make things comfortable for an elder. It is the unsung work of the world.
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Iāve posted a couple times about my mom who has pretty severe copd, during her hospitalizations for exacerbations. She complained late last week of shortness of breath (more than the usual), so I had her brought into the ER. This time, not copd related, turns out her breast cancer has spread rapidly. We knew it had metastasized, she had declined treatment for it, but it had stayed relatively stable for 4 years or so. Now, itās spreading aggressively. So, sheāll be discharged from the hospital later this week into hospice care at her home, a couple miles from my house. I spoke with her wonderful, long-term pulmonologist this afternoon, he is thinking she has a few weeks to a couple months left. More info to come from her oncology team tomorrow. Iām justā¦kind of taken aback by the speed of things. Not even sure why Iām posting except to vent. And to thank you all for sharing your experiences, since at least I have a teeny tiny bit of knowledge about what to expect. Even though I have NO IDEA what to expect.
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I hope this comes out correctly, but knowing you have a finite timeframe is a blessing. Sounds like there wonāt be months and months of waiting and wondering. I found the last few weeks really special. But Iām sorry nonetheless.
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I am so sorry. May you all enjoy one day at a time.
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I wish you well with these final days or months with your mom. When my husband died, I found that the last days went faster and faster. Itās hard to know what to expect. I hope that you and she will have truly excellent hospice help to guide you.
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@JustaMom5465 grace and peace with the transitions and care your mom receives and hugs as you are at bedside seeing your mom through this. Wonderful that there is a hospice facility nearby. A very good friendās husband just passed at a hospice facility near their home - he desired to die at home but it wasnāt possible with his physical needs. Glad you posted because we care.
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@JustaMom5465 Hugs, it is hard. We are sending some warm light your way.
@Greenbutton and @kelsmom These are tough transitions and so necessary. Keep on keeping on. Sending you strength cause it takes A LOT
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Sorry things are not going better for your mom. You will have some tough times ahead, so do take advantage of any hospice services that are helpful.
Know that for many patients the morphine that helps the pain makes them less lucid and/or sleepyā¦ I was glad my daughterās last visit to my mom (who kept resisting meds) was prior to the first dose.
On a somber paperwork logistics note, make sure her Will etc is in order and that somebody knows where it is..
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These are excellent suggestions.
Once a hospice patient begins sleeping more, being less lucid, - that can be a shock.
I hope family and friends who wish to talk or visit do so sooner than later.
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To add insult to injury, theyāre discharging mom to her home this afternoon, where her existing home health aide and I will split caregiving dutiesā¦which is great!
Buttttttā¦
I just tested positive for Covid 
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They couldnāt wait for hospice to be set up? With your Covid, can that delay things?
Donāt know yet, Iām waiting for a callback from the hospitalās case manager. Hospice is supposed to be giving me an initial setup call this afternoon or tomorrow morning.
I would hate to delay it, she never does well in a hospital setting and she really wants to be home. I donāt feel particularly bad, just like a cold/sinus thing.
ETA: spoke to the case manager, things are gonna proceed, just with me masking, sanitizing, trying to stay a little distantā¦ooof
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My daughter is a charge nurse in a step down ICU at our local hospital.
Her hospital has a unit for ācomfort careā for those individuals that have received a diagnosis and are not going to be undergoing any further treatment except for comfort measures.
Does your hospital have a hospice or comfort care unit to where your mom could go until you are well?
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Got a text from Preferred Sibling, who was stopping to see mom on his way to a 4th party at Local Siblingās. Seems she fell and hit her head, but everybody says sheās āfineā and she/PS declined a 911 ride to the (admittedly underwhelming) local ER. They put ice on the bump on her head.
She was moving her chair in the dining hall, caught her foot, and fell over backwards. This retelling courtesy of a tablemate.
Am I crazy to have assumed that a 90 yr old falling would make some sort of exam mandatory? Preferred said I worry too much
EDIT: about an hour later, an RN from the nursing unit arrived to assess Mom
and give directions for her overnight observation. So I feel better, fwiw
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Sorry to hear about the fall. In answer to your question, it might depend on your motherās viewpoint. Mine was unusually adamant about minimal doctoring in her mid to late 80s. She was fairly healthy but felt sheād not do treatments if diagnosed with ailments.
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How are things going for yāall?