Gosh with all the work you’ve done, I would hope you could get all expenses covered for hotel etc.
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So my sister has found coverage for our dad all days and evenings except for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings. She helped out this past weekend but told him she can’t do it every weekend. She told him he needs to pay his facility to send someone for at least an hour to help him get to bed. He protested (yelled, actually) that it costs too much money ($35) and the facility people are incompetent. He said he can just take care of himself. Sis said OK, let’s see how you do tonight, and of course he needed her a help a couple of times. Sigh. It seems like his thinking is a little cloudy, because he’s overly obsessed with money. Money is NO issue for him, I see his investment account reports. Ugh. My sister is in a tough spot. I’ve told Dad more than once that he should get the help he needs and that he can afford it.
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@Mom22039 IMHO address this with your brother ahead of time - he should be thankful for your assistance with this.
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Ugh!
My mom’s area has an extended power outage. She texted me, could I pay her Discover bill.
She pays her own bills but does it differently than I do and I always forget. She does bill pay from her bank account. I pay mine directly.
I look for her log in information. Can’t find because I forget this and it’s been a while. She’s busy. Finally realized that it’s through the bank and try to log in. Needs a text message from her phone.
I forget that she changed her password. I haven’t logged in since she changed it. Oops, we can do it later.
It’s hard!
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Ugh. My sister had a teaching opportunity in south Texas today, near my dad’s condo on the coast, so she and my BIL made plans to take Dad and his lady friend down there for a few days. Sis knew I was concerned - traveling with him last summer was hard enough, and he’s doing worse now.
The trip down yesterday went fine and they had a nice evening. Sis and BIL went to bed but Dad is a night owl so he and his friend were up very late. At 1:30 am, his leg started oozing pus and blood. I won’t go into gory details, but it was bad and wouldn’t stop. I guess they didn’t wake my my sister since they knew she had to get up early today? No idea. I think he should have gone to the ER but didn’t.
I got lost in all the details, but long story short, they will be leaving soon to make the 4-hour drive back to Austin and get Dad admitted to the hospital. Thankfully, Sis’s work obligations were just for today, so she can go with him. I hope the doctors can give him some relief.
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My mom recently moved near my sibling to an independent living place. It’s going ok.
But she loves playing cards. Bridge being the biggest but also pinochle. Hand and foot. Any time of cards.
They don’t have card players at her new place.
So I’m asking the collective hive. How could we find her a bridge group? She’s a pretty good player but not a master.
I looked at the local senior center but didn’t see anything. Right now there’s a huge power outage in her area so she hasn’t had power since Tuesday. It’s been a pretty rough week.
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It’s not the same but my dad loved playing cards and found a group on line. It only works though if your parent is at least semi tech savvy.
You could also reach out to the activities director to see about getting their help in starting a new group at the facility.
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She did reach out to the activities director, no interest where she is. Thanks. I think she’s looking for human interaction most
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My MIL is also a bridge player, and there were some people to play with initially at the first AL she lived in. Unfortunately, people come & go in those communities - or like my MIL, eventually are unable to think clearly enough to play. The bridge group didn’t last very long. At the next facility she lived in, the activity director tried really hard to get players so MIL could play. It never happened, unfortunately. I imagine the bigger the facility, the more likely the chance of there being bridge players … but then, they may be set with their group. It’s frustrating.
Our senior center has bridge groups, and the area has public transportation for seniors. Maybe there’s something similar near your mom?
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New idea for high school student volunteer hours…. go to a local independent living center and learn to play bridge with seniors.
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Our school district has middle school kids visit local senior communities for small music recitals and vocal performances. They’re warmly received by the residents.
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Just a funny story…when our brand new quartet performed for one of our local nursing homes there was a man on the front row with his eyes closed but obviously tapping on his knee. Afterwards we asked about him. “Oh that’s Mr. X. He used to conduct the Philharmonic orchestra…”
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I’m sure he loved hearing the music!
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Do they have some sort of bulletin board? Could she post a little “card game partners wanted” note and see if that turns up anyone else?
We taught my mom the card game SkipBo – she can’t always remember the rules, but we don’t care and it is something she can do outside of the usual.
I would contact whoever is above the activities person and ask how tomake this happen. Maybe not bridge, but cards don’t require much in the way of resources so it’s too bad it was dismissed so fast. You are good to be investigating online, etc options.
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It’s hard to believe there are no card players - seems like such a common basically free entertainment that might have been part of their younger days!
I wonder if she showed up with a deck of cards in a public area and starting playing like solitaire or something if some other players might come out of the woodwork.
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My mom plays bridge twice a week. Now that my dad is pretty much house bound she plays once in the league she was playing in and once for my dad.
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She’s really tried.
It is probably a cognitive issue at her place for substantive card playing.
I’ll call the senior center in her new town to see what they offer. Mine offers bridge and mahjong Which is I know isn’t a card game but is a game.
I was hoping that there was something that we hadn’t thought of.
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Love this idea. A family member worked in nursing homes for awhile, and mentioned that they are bombarded during the holidays, but have few visiting groups the rest of year. We coordinated a cub scout group to visit once a month to play games. High school probably needed for bridge, but any monthly visit would likely be well-received.
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MIL has taken another turn for the worse, apparently. SIL says that she is eating less, sleeping more & doesn’t always recognize people (I’m guessing that’s tied to the increased sleepiness). H is going to travel there (11 hours) this weekend to see his mom & assess for himself is happening. His S is confusing him with what she’s telling him, so it’s best that he just go.
SIL is going on about digging up FIL’s ashes from the church where in laws chose to have their ashes buried. She said that no one will be visiting that city, so she doesn’t want their ashes there (makes no sense - we only buried some of his ashes - we still have some with us). She wants to bury them at the family cottage that is owned by MIL & H, which will be owned solely by H when MIL passes. The issue … we actually want to eventually sell that cottage and get one closer to us that is more suitable for our own family’s needs. It’s not going to happen anytime soon, but it will happen. He wasn’t planning to discuss that with her, but now he may have to. Ugh.
Family stuff is stressful.
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Best of luck to both of you - him on the trip and you back home wondering how things are going. And comfort to your MIL. <3
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