My mom was not able to use her iPad or iPhone independently for the last few years of her life. Everything from forgetting to charge it, to forgetting her log in, to not turning it on. I can’t tell you how many calls I fielded trying to trouble shoot.
Before making the investment I’d have her use a family member’s and see if she’s able to navigate the interface.
The caregivers all have iPhones and THEY will be managing MILs IPad…not MIL.she absolutely cannot do this herself.
She had an older iPad that she hasn’t used in over four years, and it can’t be updated any longer. But she stopped using it. But then, there were not 24/7 caregivers…and now there are.
She is 92 1/2 with advanced dementia…
SIL thinks it’s worth the money. I’m not sure I agree.
When my mom’s dementia was advanced she didn’t seem to understand the concept of Face Time at all. She didn’t seem to realize it was us on the screen and she had no interest in watching/talking.
IMO, your sil is wasting her $. They should just ask the caregivers to FT if they want to see your MIL.
She is wasting our money. She asked DH to buy this. I think he will be reimbursed, but who knows?
We used MY iPhone and iPad to do telehealth visits with my folks. My folks were NOT capable of handling that. I went over to visit them when we were going to have a telehealth visit and let whomever wanted to conference in join. It worked pretty well. I also bought an Aura frame for my folks and had it in their living room and gave everyone the email to send photos to them. Most of the photos were ones that I put on the frame but everyone COULD add anything they wanted. When we visited, I talked about the people in the photos and it made the folks happy.
My folks became incapable of handling tech as they got older and the dementia got worse.
For COPD, my dad could NOT handle any of his inhalers—no coordination with the dementia. He couldn’t even properly do a lung function test. I was able to get his MDs to switch him over to a nebulizer and we had the paid companion come over every morning to administer medication treatments. One of us would come over in the evening to give him a 2nd set of nebulizer treatments. It’s not really that complicated but my siblings didn’t like to do it and didn’t want me to train them or watch the videos on how to do it.
We also got dad a portable oxygen concentrator, spare battery and spare charger because that was the only way dad could keep his saturations above 90% and leave the independent unit where they lived. He used up the entire battery getting from his unit to the front of the CCRC so had to use the 2nd battery to get to wherever we were going and back to his unit. It was very challenging. They also gave him a stationary unit that he was SUPPOSED to used to sleep with but I’m not positive how much he actually used to for sleep. Fortunately, no one ever tripped with the tubing or machines (which is more common problem than one might think).
If anyone has any questions about COPD, I’m happy to help—also, the Copdfoundation.org has a ton or resources on the learn more tab of their website. I can answer anyone’s private texts.
We have no need for telehealth visits. All of MILs doctors are very closeby and she goes in person.
She has an Aura frame already.
I have found that the caregivers will facetime with resident’s family using their devices. My father’s nursing home has ipads for each nursing station that they use for just his purpose. (When they call the name of the device calling is something like nursestationfloor2).
My father is at that point, he can’t seem to use his phone properly anymore, but thinks he can. It is always “broken” according to him, which translates to not charged when I have it looked into. I have sent him new charges (a two pack) 3 times in the past year. They seem to just disappear.
When he does call, he can never hear me (says it is too noisy - I think he just doesn’t hold the phone close enough). He will call me 10 times in a 2 minute span. After I talk to him, he will call me back another 2-3 times even though I just spoke to him. Sometimes he calls and doesn’t realize it. The message left is just the background noise of the facility.
@thumper1 the iPad sounds silly and unnecessary but I guess in the end it’s up to your husband if he wants to indulge his sister. I have no idea why a person with advanced dementia needs an iPad when everyone and their brother has an iPhone.
It’s weird what people do when they are having difficulty grasping the reality of a situation. Why buy an iPad for someone who probably won’t use it? Maybe she’ll use this one (probably no). My BIL has purchased so many phones for MIL, because he thinks she will magically pick up the phone or call someone if he just gets the right one (no). Hope springs eternal, I guess.
I think that it can be difficult for some family members to come to grips that aging is a one-way street. No miracle cure or accommodation, no U-turns.
I always found that my mom - who was coherent and active and fully independent and responsive - did not seem fully engaged when I’d bring my iPad and one of my kids would FaceTime with her. She liked a phone call because that she had done all her life.
New technology? Cool, but not for her.
My 98 year old father says he’s “very visual”, enjoys Facetime. But it’s not his wife’s thing, so they rarely do it. I think that many elderly people don’t warm to it. I think of it a bit like people who are blind and then have miraculous surgery to restore their sight… it’s hard to adjust.
As mom got weaker, going anywhere became an ordeal and eventually we needed medical transport to get her from Skilled Nursing to the hospital and back. Telehealth was much easier for her geriatrician to keep in touch. The skilled nursing MD was nice and tried hard but didn’t know mom as long and well as the geriatrician. It was good to have input from both of them and they worked together pretty well.
With the telehealth and photos I could zoom in on areas of concern when we talked to geriatrician without having to transport mom. Nice not to have to make frail patients more uncomfortable than necessary.
For clarity here…No one in DHs family is suggesting the need for an IPad for telehealth purposes now. This is solely for FaceTime calls and sharing of photos…managed by the caregivers.
Sounds like it is about helping close sibling, and other family having something to do… they are offering something for your MIL… it is not about anything practical…
Re: obstinate elderly parents & medical problems -
My 79 yr old dad was informed some time recently by 1 of his doctors that he has arthritis in his left knee. He’s going to physical therapy for it. But thinks that the physical therapy is going to cure it and make the arthritis go away. Um, no. That’s not how arthritis works. I just do the phone equivalent of ‘smile and nod’ but in my head I’m thinking, “Ok, good luck with that, buddy!”
He also has all of the hallmark symptoms of some severe COPD but insists that it’s “just asthma” that he’s had for 30+ years and that he’s “just fine” and doesn’t ever have to use an inhaler. Sure, ok, so THAT must be why your doctor was so worried about your lungs that they ordered an MRI of your chest.
He won’t listen to me or my sister on any of this. Heck, he thinks that all doctors are in league with drug manufacturers and that they are all out to fleece him out of his money. 
Even people with “just asthma” can really benefit from the proper treatment which often does include inhalers. I’m sorry that your loved one is refusing to use treatment that has been proven to improve the lives of millions of others. Yes, it’s true that drug companies make tons of money but better breathing can help keep an individual active and prevent other health issues or at least significantly delay their onset.
My mom is 92 and has had an iPad for nearly 15 years. At this point she only uses it for Messenger, and Facebook but she enjoys the connection. She also has a skylight frame. She is pretty good with both but gets panicked about answering Facetime calls and/or update messages, but if there are caregivers to handle that it would be easy.
I think some people cope with aging elders by trying to provide organization or structure or devices to take up the deficits as they appear. Even when others cope by trying to look at the deficits realistically. It is wrenching to see them become more and more isolated from the world. If you can afford a refurbished iPad with a big screen, I would do it not for the mom, but for the sister’s sake.
I don’t consider 79 elderly.