I’m not sure what you’re asking for…like some sort of “entertainment” for her??? Does she like music? Maybe YouTubes of singers/concerts she might like? A travel video so she can see other parts of the world?
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With advanced dementia I would say there is zero chance of your MIL using the ipad, let alone using it independently. Happy to learn otherwise of course. My mother, in Memory care, can barely answer a (landline, rotary) phone, let alone use anything “electronic”.
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My SIL saw some games online that would improve cognitive functioning. If they want to evaluate the efficacy of applications for this..,they need a consultant to evaluate this. I live a six hour drive away.
Luckily, the caregivers love music and MIL has them choose music for her to listen to. She doesn’t need an iPad for that. They watch the travel shows on TV, so she doesn’t need that. And really, the caregivers know how to stream this stuff if something different is desired.
She doesn’t need an iPad for this, and would not be able to use it independently for anything.
The main reason for this purchase was supposedly to make face time easier, and for photos to be sent to her directly (even though she already has an aura frame). This would be for pictures of events like graduations when more than one pic is taken.
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I am not by any means suggesting that these situations are similar in anyway but I bet you know an occupational therapist or two (because you are a speech therapist) who may work with cognitively impaired kids or adults - maybe they could suggest something for you.
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I have reached out…and I also worked with cognitively impaired children so I have some knowledge myself. I also have familiarity with some of these applications. They can be very challenging…even the ones that are easy!
Thank you everyone for the input.
If anyone has specific applications they know work with advanced dementia, please…send those names my way!!
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Alas, in the old old, it’s a one-way street. But thumper, it does sound like they really know her in the facility and learned what she likes when she was better able to express herself. I’m sure that someone in your family will be able to use the ipad when your m-i-l can no longer benefit from it at all.
Just for clarity, @oldmom4896 my MIL lives in an independent house where she has 24/7 caregivers that she pays for. She is not in a facility. She lives in a VERY nice CCRC.
Maybe (?) she can answer Facetime calls. (Although interesting my Dad seems better at initiating calls than answering… but only for the “recent” top of the list facetime buddy)
I have no experience with this, but found a web site with lots of advice.
Also saw ideas for a virtual fish reef (My Reef 3D), virtual piano, and virtual animals (Talking Tom 2).
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Thank you, @Marilyn
I’m will pass this on to my SIL. I’m familiar with a number of these as I used them with my little kids to teach cause and effect.
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My mil seems to be fixated on putting labels on their stuff so that kids and grandkids can pick out what they want from the house.
My in laws have a niece who would like some things from her side of the family as she is estranged from her father.
I told mil finally that my husband and his brother wouldn’t have any issue dividing up things and the grandchildren wouldn’t either. Put a label on the things the niece wants and we will let her know.
The fact is that my in laws don’t have any big family heirlooms, all the grandchildren have their own homes and their own stuff. I can’t imagine anything anyone is going to fight over. I can’t imagine what anyone would want.
We aren’t going to be fighting over your Thomas Kincaid painting or your Llardo figurines. Or your cherry dining room set.
She’s brought it up 4 times in the past week.
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Sometimes older people (near end of life or not) do find comfort feeking ready, things in order. One thing I am doing over time is trying to get at least one special thing from my mom to each of her grandkids. Someday much will get trashed and given away, but I like the idea of them each having a selected remembrance
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My MIL obsessed over the fact that I didn’t want her cherry dining table when she moved to assisted living. It’s very wide, and my 70’s era colonial dining room is narrow. She told me to turn my living room into a dining room so that the table would fit. What is it with the need to make sure the stuff you chose for your house will adorn your kids’ house whether they want it or not? BTW, my SIL put it in her dining room, where it takes up so much room that getting to and from your seat is quite difficult. And we did end up taking a grandfather clock that graces a spare bedroom until H can find a cousin willing to take it off our hands. Our kids have already informed us that they promise to remember us and our family time together without our stuff …
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She also told us today that she’s going to live another 10 years. She’s 89. She might.
It was a weird day
My mom did the same thing but by the time she moved out of her house, the only things people wanted were small trinkets.
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I will be sad when we have to give away my family dining room set.**. But I’ll know it is how it has to be. Daughter is an apartment minimalist. Son and wife live 2000 miles away.
** My maternal grandmother was working in a posh furniture store when she married a few months before the 1929 crash. My maternal grandfather’s father, who was having them move into his house, had her pick out furniture from the store. Decades later when maternal grandparents downsized, they gifted the set to my paternal grandparents… and I recall many dinner with them and cousins.
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I’ve been a long time lurker and have learned so much from this thread. I have a question about hospice and how one gets admitted. FIL is 87, MIL is 97. DH’s local sibling along with the inlaw’s long time caregiver have been talking about palliative care so that they can get in home visits and not have to go out to doctors’ offices. All of a sudden we find out that MIL is in hospice care for 90 days then the hospice company will reevaluate her for palliative care. She has no terminal diagnosis and has recently been taken off all her meds since her blood pressure has been low- so for her age she’s in remarkable health. We can see some signs of dementia but she has no diagnosis for that yet but I could see that changing in the near future. Is this normal for how hospice works? Just seems odd that she could be admitted to hospice without any diagnosis to support it other than being 97.
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At that age, there is a “failure to thrive” diagnosis that might work to qualify for hospice. Usually a person would need to show weight loss, some secondary infections, and definitely no longer wanting to seek aggressive medical treatment for anything.
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My 98 year old MIL has been in hospice care for more than three years. She doesn’t want to be sent to the hospital if she is sick, and her assisted living facility is required to send her if she’s not on hospice. Hospice is great - they monitor her medication, shower her twice a week, and watch her overall health.
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My mil just called. My husband is doing something for her and called her. I’m not with him. Mil didn’t answer her phone in time. So She called me and I told her that she needed to call her son. She asked for his number. I asked her if she had it. It might be good to have. She said she probably did but it was easier for me to give her my husband’s number.
I wonder if my mil will complain to my husband about the fact that I pointed out that she should have her own child’s phone number.
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I think a lot can depend upon the particular hospice program.
When we enrolled my mother, the hospice social worker had to make various calls etc (from clinic parking lot - twas early covid days) to prove a progressive decline. The challenge was that mom had not been to the clinic doctor in person for three years… just one call-in for refill on a bp med she eventually didn’t feel she needed anymore. Then a visit with me, O2 level in low 80s.
That hospice program was so helpful, even though only involved 2 months before she died. Now I am thinking about looking at palliative care for my dad (age 98) in another state … eager to read more comments here because it is the same organization running hospice and palliative services.
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