Just sending hugs your way. I know you’re the “away” people, and now you’re having to deal with all this stuff when you didn’t make the decisions to get to where you are now. I hope it all turns out OK and she’s not suffering any more than she has to.
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OMG! 98??? lol I’m laughing to keep from crying.
I have worked really hard not to be so cheap, to get over my long-ingrained scarcity mindset. Your BIL seems both delusional and cheap! Best of luck navigating it all.
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I have nothing to add but virtual hugs and empathy. Everything becomes so complicated and involves 50 calls and 200 minutes of waiting. You are doing the hard work. hang in there.
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I am so sorry @kelsmom! MIL must be in so much pain. (My FIL had hairline fracture on his vertebrae and he had to the just let it heal which was very painful for a very long time.). Rehab place is the right facility for her now bc AL will not offer 3 hours of rehab generally. I am also very sorry that you and H are managing all the complexities. It is overwhelming and heartbreaking.
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Thanks for sharing your recent experience. I submitted a claim for mom last week when the other party started making nonsensical comments. Hoping that this is done and done… though mom called last night a bit anxious that the lady called her, but mom didn’t pick up. I advised her not to talk to her.
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Wow. That lady needs to step back. I’m so glad that your mom didn’t pick up.
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Unfortunately, she will not be able to do three hours of rehab daily, so she won’t qualify for traditional rehab. We’re going to see if her pain can be managed enough that she can manage a few hours a week so she can go to subacute rehab. If not, she won’t qualify for any rehab.
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This is so hard. Is she talking much about her condition? Knowing that she wasn’t thrilled with quality of life before this happened this has to be so, so tough. Hugs to you all!
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When my mom had fractures, she really found lidocaine patches we bought over the counter provided good pain relief without bad side effects and I’d strongly recommend that this might be considered. We bough the patches at Costco and they can be cut into 1/2 or 1/4 as desired. I’ve also used them when I had a fracture and found it very helpful. The patches are easier on the body than systemic pain relievers and don’t cause dizziness.
You can find the patches online and at many drug stores as well. It’s 4% lidocaine instead of more expensive prescription 5% lidocaine patches.
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Chase finally sent the balance in my dad’s closed account to him, so we are done with that horrible company. 
My next step is to find out about becoming a partner in the family partnership, because I discovered that the POA I have does not extend to the partnership. I have lots of questions about my liabilities and responsibilities, though.
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A friend’s mother used those as well. Helped a lot.
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These can be useful, but you have to treat them like any other painkiller when it comes to dosing with other meds as well. My mom was slapping on patches and then taking Aleve, both!
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SOS, ha. Maybe I should ask this in a separate thread, but I thought somebody on here might be able to point me in the right direction. In a nutshell, this family partnership stuff is way beyond my understanding. I just wanted to be a partner so I would have authority to make decisions, but yikes. The CPA said I need to buy in somehow. My mom’s estate still controls 50% of the partnership. What the heck? The CPA said she couldn’t get Mom off of there. I could buy out Mom’s estate’s portion, apparently? But the CPA couldn’t tell me how much that would cost? And if I did that, Dad would have to gift me the money because I don’t have cash sitting around. Ugh, I don’t even know what to ask. The attorney is useless when it comes to this area - she thought I would have no tax consequences as a partner. “It’s a separate EIN.” Yeah, so is my engineering firm, and I pay taxes.
So TLDR, I’m wondering what kind of professional I should look to for help, because we sure need it. There’s also an insurance trust in the name of my mom’s estate, and that seems to be locked up for some reason. Blech.
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You might have more success asking on the retirement thread. Someone on there will have had experience, I bet.
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Good idea. I don’t look at that thread, usually.
LOL - not surprised, you have A LOT on your plate!
Yes, those of us who used the patches used them INSTEAD of oral painkillers and were careful to remove them after the 8 hours max it said on instructions. It was freeing to have them instead of the oral meds for us.
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So sorry about all these difficulties. May be state specific.
To consider but not necessary to answer: Will your mother’s estate close? Or, is it a trust for your father, so long as he is alive? Is it an Irrevocable Life Insurance Trust, if so, who is the trustee? Etc.
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MIL was able to do some very simple PT today … but only after a dose of morphine. It was unbelievable how difficult it was for her to do a few very simple things … and how painful it was for her to sit unassisted on the side of the bed & lift herself up (leaning on a walker) just enough to be able to straighten the pads under her so she could be more easily moved back. Wow - so difficult for her (and for the PTs). She fell asleep immediately afterwards, and she has been sleeping very soundly for two hours.
If she is willing to do some work again tomorrow, they will try to get her Advantage plan to approve 21 days in subacute rehab. That would be great, but we’re not sure whether it will be approved. We have a meeting scheduled tomorrow with the AL facility she has been living in & the hospice that has been caring for her. The hospice seems to think that they can come up with a workable plan between them & the AL. It is worth trying, if only because there aren’t many viable alternatives in the area & it will be easier for her to be in her familiar room.
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There’s an irrevocable life insurance trust in addition to the “MLH Dad and Mom Family Partnership LTD.” There’s something wonky with the trust, too. The CPA is kind of throwing her hands up, trying to get my mom’s estate taken off it. I need to dig into that, too, sigh.
My sister is going to ask around for somebody knowledgeable in Austin.
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