He is with the Houston law firm that did estate work for Dad probably 25 years ago. The original attorney retired, so this was a different guy. Looking up reviews is a good idea. I had nothing to do with selecting him - I would have suggested an Austin attorney - local and cheaper!
Iâm back from my in laws where I was for a few days while my husband took care of business at our house.
In-laws are hiring help for them. Hopefully that starts tomorrow and then my husband wonât have to be living with them. In-laws arenât even mentioning independent living anymore. They are only going to need to bring help in for a few weeks. According to them. Local siblings dog that they watch while he works is imo the biggest reason.
Now about me 
I am so tired of answering questions and being asked the same questions every half hour. I know things are confusing and thereâs a lot going on but I repeat myself over and over again. On the drive home, my mom called, where I got to repeat myself again and again. Itâs an exhausting part of this!
Also they watch the tv so loud, I canât hear myself think! Even all night where I could hear it in the room I was sleeping in as if I was in the room!
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[quote=âMaineLonghorn, post:6314, topic:2798352â]
The financial advisor said she checked the county court website and there is a request for an extension in submitting the inventory for Mom (October 2021!), but nothing else afterwards, and the case is still open.[/quote]
If the inventory isnât done then which family member was in charge of it? Did it get turned in?
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And the TV is blaring?
Do they have hearing aids? I remember telling my dad he HAD to get hearing aids. I was so tired of repeating myself. And then it was âwhy are you yelling at me?â 
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My fil has cochlear implants, and still canât hear.
My mil refuses to wear hers, she doesnât see any reason since her husband canât hear 
After some discussion, now the tv sound is off if there is any talking going on. But when they do watch tv, the volume is turned up loud. Very loud!
The repeating issue is a short term memory problem. They forget what you told them and so we have to repeat over and over and over.
For instance today, my mom asks where my husband is. I answer. Heâs at our house. 10 minutes later she asks if my husband is with me, I was in the car. I answer, no heâs at our house. 10 minutes after that she asked if he was at his parentâs house.
DHâs mother refused to use hearing aids - hers were quite good, so BIL got them adjusted for him (and he is the one that has totally done the most for his parents, so glad he could use them). So DH got some headphones for her to use with the TV and that solved the problem - she could watch TV with really loud sound and everyone else could have peace.
In our bedroom DH has headphones available so one of us can watch TV late w/o disturbing the other person. He often likes to use them even if I am not in the room as they have good quality sound and are comfortable to wear.
If both people need really loud TV and no-one else is there, they are not going to hear anything else going on â if someone is at the door or if the phone is ringing (unless they have a cell set to vibrate and have it on oneâs lap).
Some on this thread have a difficult journey including loved ones in denial. Hard enough with the parent(s) not managing well with changes needed.
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I asked my dadâs bookkeeper. She and my dad completed it and gave it to the attorney. So she assumed at that point that the attorney had completed the process. He didnât ask for anything else.
When sheâs at my dadâs next week, sheâs going to scan all the attorneyâs invoices and send them to me. After I see those, I will call the firm and raise a stink if I have to.
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Oh, I feel your pain! MIL still asks questions on a loop, but she really doesnât watch tv anymore (which is a relatively recent change), so my hearing is thankful. We actually used to take earplugs & put them in when she put the tv on (which was pretty much all the time).
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Yup. And you want to be sympathetic but it is maddening. My mom goes around and around about mail â did we get it, what is in it, etc. and then again. and again.
My MiL seems unable to recall/retain info, wonât wear her hearing aids, and is just always confused and trying to fake ânot confusedâ. FiL canât hear, says he can.Gets mad at her for not remembering things, or ânot telling meâ.
In a room with both of them, itâs like have a radio on full blast while someone else watches tv. I salute your stamina!
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When both of my parents had cognitive issues, it was like listening to âWhoâs on Firstâ over and over again. And also watching âGroundhog Dayâ.
All I can say is try as hard as you can to kind of get outside your body and observe things as if you were watching a farce. Itâs impossible to act like you are in a ânormalâ situation.
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I had a recent snafu with legal things. Doubt this is what happened to you but throwing it out there anyway.
When my mom died, we didnât probate her will and did an affidavit of heirship. We paid the title company to file the affidavit of heirship with the county where her house was sold and the county where she owned land. When I got the appraisal on the land (75% increase 
) I was tooling around on the website and noticed that the land still wasnât in our names. I called the appraisal district, and, yep, they had no paper work. I was ticked and called the title company, and they were able to send me copies of the paper work filed with that county and when it was received, proving the title company had down the work. So with that info, I called the county clerk, not the appraisal district, and they confirm that it had been filed, but they said that itâs not their responsibility to convey the change of ownership to the appraisal district. UGH. OK, I guess I believe that. I called the appraisal district to see how we could get the appraisal district to list us as the owners, and it involves going down there and doing some other kind of paper work. None of us is inclined to do that and are, perhaps unwisely, just letting it ride.
Anyway, I write all that to say maybe one hand doesnât know what the other is doing/did.
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Oh, my gosh, how frustrating! I wouldnât be surprised if there was some kind of glitch like that with my momâs estate. It doesnât make sense that a reputable law firm would drop the ball so badly.
The loud tv is my biggest pet peeve with my mother. Her tv is on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with the volume up into the 60s on her remote. Sometimes both her bedroom and den tv are both on; oh, and her apartment is 650 sq. ft.! The tv can be heard down her hallway in her independent living apartment. When we talk on the phone, I have to ask her to turn in down as I canât understand her. She then replies it isnât that loud. 
I have noticed in the past few months, and more recently since mom was in the hospital overnight for a very high BP, that she is getting a bit confused, but only with things that are important. Monday I spoke with one of her specialist who was making a change in momâs medication. I told her about it when I arrived at her place 10 minutes later, and even took out the medication she was to drop from her daily pill box. She was to continue on the Lasik, but it was going to stay on her night table as she would take it when she woke early to use the bathroom. As she would go back to sleep, this allowed the Lasik to start working and she would be peeing tons when she went down for dinner. Well mom informed me today when I told her to continue the Lasik, that I never told her to take it, so she hasnât taken it the past few days. I just let her yell at me, and then calmly repeated what she was suppose to do, and about our initial conversation concerning the medication. I think I am at the point that I need to write things down for her, and maybe fill her weekly pill case. Most of the times she is sharp, but I think she is getting overwhelmed with the health issues, and I understand, but I am doing the best I can.
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As to âgetting out of your own body,â I heard Brene Brown once say, pretend you are the director of the movie you are in, and direct the scene. Helpful for parents, kids, and many interactions. Gives you a chance to pause, reflect, respond.
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One of our warning flags when Mom lived at home was the number of notes we had to stick places to get her thru the day, and the uselessness of said notes. We made her a reminder about meds, Local went out once a week to fill her little organizer â but she could never remember if she took them, or which compartment she used, etc. Asking was futile since she is an unreliable narrator.
Itâs my experience that the elderly cannot develop new habits without intense supervision, and even then itâs an iffy endeavor.
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This is just a vent, these are not my parents and I have no control over what they do (my husband has no inclination to try and persuade them)
My mil has interviewed and signed a contract with a home health aid company. Nothing is binding but the minimum for them to come is 3 hour blocks
Mil keeps harping about the 3 hour block. Iâm donât know what they are going to do for 3 hours. Thatâs so long. Over and over and over again. The cost is a reasonable $35 an hour
Last night my husband talked to her. Again with the 3 hour block, I am so much better today. The PT came and Iâm much improved. I can wash myself up. (My big recommendation is that the home health aid can help with showers) They wonât walk the dog.
Mil said the agency didnât call yesterday to see if they can start today. Maybe they did but fil is not capable of taking a message, she had to see her doctor.
Mil doesnât want my husband to come if there is no help. They are fine, and can do this themselves. My husband will respect their wishes. He wonât call the agency himself.
I give up! Seriously!
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@greenbutton While I have no knowledge about this, it makes perfect sense about the inability to develop new habits. Taking the pills mom is use to taking and filling her organizer with was not a problem, until the doctors started adding and changing what she takes.
With my mom, I do think some of this is she is scared of what is going on, so she panics and makes things worst. She is 94 and lives independently, but hasnât felt great the past couple of months. Once the cardiologist mentioned possible Afib, and put her on a 30 day heart monitor, mom has decided she is in Afib most of the day. Now understand the 24 hours she was in the hospital on their monitors, there was no mention of Afib, so I doubt she really is constantly in Afib!
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Do you think your MIL thinks this injury and all surrounding it is just a little âblipâ in her routine - that things are going to go back to the way it was and she can be sort of oblivious to what is falling apart around her? (Your FILâs health, the house being too much, difficulties of having a dog, etc.)
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Doctors and these heart monitors, I could pull my hair out. Mom has had them three times now, all it did was freak her out and keep her up at night, worried the WiFi wasnât working, misunderstanding notifications, frantic that she needed to do something, etc⊠They wanted her to come home today with one, and Local asked âwhat would it tell usâ and then "if she had a heart problem, could you do anything about it? ". Not much, and no, were the answers. I swear it is a new fad.
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I donât understand the dog at all. At their age, with their problems, and someone has made them responsible for a dog, too? @deb922 is this a BiL or family that owns the dog your inlaws are watching while the owner works? I would have a really hard time not rolling my eyes in person over that one, kudos to your restraint.
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