Per Google/AI
…paying a caregiver $2,800 or more in a calendar year triggers federal tax responsibilities for the family employing them.
Key points about the $2,800 threshold
Federal tax obligations for employers: When a family pays a caregiver this amount or more within a calendar year, they become responsible for certain federal taxes, including Social Security, Medicare, and income taxes.
Caregiver responsibilities: Caregivers are required to report all earned income and pay income taxes on their personal tax return, regardless of whether the family meets the $2,800 threshold.
Unemployment insurance: Families also owe federal and state unemployment insurance taxes if they pay a caregiver $1,000 or more in any calendar quarter.
Planning for taxes: It’s advisable to plan for taxes from the outset rather than waiting to see if the threshold is met.
If you expect to pay a caregiver $2,800 or more annually, it is important to understand household employment tax requirements.
For our family, preference is to use an agency. However parents keep being told there are waitlists for shower helper kinds of services. (They claim they are on the waitlists, but my sister will dig into that more when she visits.)
Yes, my DD1 needed to research this as they had a nanny working for them some days/hours over the summer. Thankfully my DD1 was able to handle things when the nanny got mono and dropped out. The nanny was the sister of a friend, and she was wanting to transition from being a CNA to being a FT nanny. My daughter had PT remote work hours; she was able to keep the baby taken care of and the older two kids that were also home (age 7 and 6) started school today.
The Hosparus we use for my FIL provides 2 showers a week. He is in palliative care, not hospice care. I understand that you don’t want to be the one to suggest it, but if your Hospice provides that service maybe the family will see it as a positive.
My siblings kept suggesting we switch to paying someone “under the table” to live with mom and have her move from CCRC back to her old house (that she no longer had any connection to and didn’t see it as her former home). I kept resisting, saying I had no extra money to defend lawsuits in case we were sued for not doing enough contributions and withholding as required by the law. I also didn’t want us to have any worker’s comp issues, as some of the workers were older and many of them were pretty slightly built themselves and any could get injured on the job. I didn’t want our family to be responsible for any on the job injuries they suffered.
One of my sibs and his family DID have aging relative remain in her home and hired someone to care for her and cook for her. She lived like that for 5 years and was bedbound for much of it. It was pretty miserable for everyone.
There are plenty of reasons to be concerned about that plan, even beyond the legal concerns. Relying on just one person 24x7 has risk of fatigue, patient injury etc. It’s a tough job for even a spouse to handle.
We also went through an agency with my mom. Caregiving is a tough job and there are a lot of call offs. With an agency, they are responsible for the replacement.
Even using an agency, your family had to fill in with little notice for illness, injury, etc. Without agency, I think we would have had to fill in a whole lot more often.
Ugh, without going into too much boring detail, last night my dad took six family members out to a VERY expensive restaurant of his choosing, and then at the end announced he would pay for my nephew and his fiance, but the other four family members had to cover themselves. ??!? He has always paid for everyone, and of course we’ve been very appreciative. If he had just announced the sudden change in policy BEFORE the meal, my sister would have picked a less expensive restaurant. She and my niece are on very tight budgets. They might not have gone out at all if they’d realized.
It might seem trivial, but it is a concern, because it’s just not like Dad. Money is not an issue for him, either. My sister was pretty upset. There’s a possibility that it might be related to his being told about the alcohol and dancing at my nephew’s upcoming wedding, but again, it’s not like him to react that negatively.
Dad’s Lady Friend was surprised, too. I think she may speak to him about it.
My mother had a live in, which was my brother’s mother-in-law, so that worked out. Mom had dementia and was determined to remain in her own home, which she did. She was docile and compliant. Mom was able to mask her decline for quite a while but was also on memory medication.
With a quick decline in 2010, I told my brother to get her evaluated for Hospice (his house was one house away from mom) - and in their area, you go through ER and get evaluated by 3 MDs. It turns out she had an infection of her gall bladder, so was on hospital IV meds and then came home with Hospice and a hospital bed on Thursday. She died on the following Monday. My brother and sister were at bedside. A year or two earlier, it was recommended she get a pacemaker, but she and our family declined - who wants their body to outlive their mental functioning? In our faith, we pray for the grace of a happy death. Dad died at 64 (of cancer) and mom at 77. If I didn’t beat my aggressive cancer I would not have even made it as long as my dad (at the start of my cancer in 2009 I was 53). My siblings and I hope to keep good health and live beyond the averages. I had a lot of chemo which took a toll on some of my memory - most memory is intact, but some areas are not. I am happy to be able to see my DDs graduate HS and college (they were in 8th and 10th grades at the start of my cancer journey), one daughter married, and now 5 grandkids. I now hope to see my grandchildren grow up!
My sister is caretaker of her 88 YO husband (my sister is 72) - he would be in assisted living w/o her. I honestly don’t think she thought of how their age difference would affect her when she married him at 25 with him 41 and he was only 3 years younger than our mom. He also doesn’t have financial means (he was a Lutheran minister). She retired at 62 and doesn’t have a full teacher retirement pension - she found living modestly she could live better w/o continuing to be so needed at home and with her work responsibilities (master’s in library science, was school librarian but then made responsible for two libraries and part-time untrained help). For a long time, my sister didn’t voice and follow through with things she wanted - passive role, compliant, put on a pedestal by her husband; she did do some limited travel w/o him and lined up lots of help so her husband would be properly looked after against his desires/wishes. My sister is very active - plays pickle ball, goes to the gym, rides her bike around their small town when seasons permit. No reason for her husband to go to skilled care - more reasonable for help to come home if needed. He is ambulatory with a walker and can still do some slow walks with her. Their kids/grandkids are within 2 hours’ drive. My sister hosts birthday celebrations and some holidays - and keep the family connection with weekly Skye call/specific time for each of the two families.
DH’s parents’ situation worked out, but it was not easy. They both passed at age 92, dying a few months apart from each other.
It is tough when there is a stepparent involved and what gets decided by them and their family, and the financial picture.
My sister dropped off a check for their portion of the bill last night. She asked Dad why he decided to pay for two of the family members and not the other four, and he said, “Well, they’re just starting out and I knew it would be hard for them.” ?!? That kid has an engineering job! It’s not logical. She also said it would have been nice to know ahead of time, and Dad just said, “Well, we didn’t talk about it, did we?” So moving forward, we know the assumption is he WON’T pay instead of he will. Sis didn’t argue with him, but ugh. She literally had to borrow money out of an emergency fund to pay for it. I decided to cover half the cost. It’s been one thing after another for her, and Sunday is the 10th anniversary of her son’s death. The money happened to come out of the small fund he had at the time of his death.
Sis also said that recently when he went out with his grandson, they went to a place with optional valet parking. He insisted that my nephew park the car in a spot reserved for valet service. Nephew explained the situation, and Dad got very annoyed and told him to do as he said. He didn’t want to pay, and the employee was not happy. Somehow, nephew finally got Dad to pay.
DH is just furious with my dad, although he understands in his head that it’s just not Dad being himself anymore.
Dad has to redo his will soon because it’s a mess, and yeah, I’m expecting him to change it and it may not be good for my sister and me. That’s life.
Sounds like your dad is starting to have cognitive changes. If the will needs to be changed, I’d have it done sooner rather than later. Once he loses capacity (or even if the attorney has doubts), it can become more complicated or impossible to update.
It’s great that you’ve found some people to hire to help through the situation. (And bummer of course that you need to. All these stories encourage me to get our act together with proper estate planning, logically organized financial paperwork etc)
I’m wondering if this comment was about the wedding. Your sister didn’t ask your father ahead of time about her son’s wedding. So this is his passive aggressive way of telling her. You should have talked to me before deciding and shouldn’t have let my lady friend tell me either.
Instead of blaming nephew and fiance, he’s blaming his daughter. She should have stopped the drinking and dancing. Having her pay for a meal that he knew she couldn’t afford, is his way of voicing his displeasure.
Maybe I’m way off base. But that was my first thought.
Mom was always the “go between.” Dysfunctional, I know. That’s why when I got married, I told DH I would NOT be in the middle. If he had an issue with the kids, he needed to talk to them directly.
Now Dad doesn’t have anyone in the middle, so this is how he deals with his grievances.
I could see that if he was then he would feel some kind of way, but if he’s not then oh, well. I imagine he’s not thrilled about your sister leaving town either.
Money is not an issue for him, either. My sister was pretty upset. There’s a possibility that it might be related to his being told about the alcohol and dancing at my nephew’s upcoming wedding, but again, it’s not like him to react that negatively.