My mom had hallucinations, some related to dementia, some to low sodium levels. Those were different than the visual hallucinations MIL is having, which are patterns and familiar things (birds, Santa, etc). Getting old is sure an interesting ride.
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My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry that the complicated sibling dynamic is adding to an already difficult situation.
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Understatement of the thread!!!
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It’s great you were able to figure out the Charles Bonnet Syndrome phantom images. Hope your depth perception mealtime experimentation goes well.
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She slept the entire day yesterday - I guess we wore her out. I hope that we have a wakeful day today.
It’s frustrating that local sibling & her H aren’t working with her to deal with issues. There’s nothing that can be done about the visual issues, but she just seemed so much less frustrated by them once we discussed the fact that they are a visual problem rather than a psychological issue. Of course, she will need to be reminded of that fact, because her short term memory is not good. We don’t interfere, though … it’s a “tread lightly” situation like many here deal with.
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well…he’s been admitted to the acute rehab facility within the hospital. 
They moved him after dinner yesterday. Here’s hoping he can endure it and get strong enough to be home. The coordinator said it would likely be a 1-2 week stay. He seems very weak again…but I’m hopeful that he can rebound to where he was last week pretty quickly and then progress from there 
If nothing else, my mom is getting a much-deserved break from the madness.
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Glad to hear that he was able to qualify and move to rehab. And that your mom gets a well deserved break and a good nights sleep
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That seems like a reasonable next step, though he’d likely rather be home. Hoping it will be a good stepping-stone path toward recovery.
I didn’t realize that some hospitals have that option, which seems simpler than a shift to rehab facility.
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My father did a stay in an in-hospital acute rehab once a few years ago. It was a great option (but they need to have the space). He hardly released that he was now in rehab vs still being in the hospital - just changed from one wing to another one. Much easier than having to find a rehab bed in another location and arrange for the physical transfer.
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This is what we did with my dad, and it was a great interim step. The transfer was seamless, and he improved a lot. Our situation definitely felt less hospital-y, which was mostly good. He ate in a windowless little lunch room with other patients, if he wanted, and he sometimes did. it felt a little like a nursing home in one sense, without all the cutesy decor. There was less going on and not as many nurse check-ins so in a way it was a little lonelier, but when it came to the workout part he loved all the attention. And, thankfully, he wasn’t afraid to put in the work. They fetched him to do three sessions a day – OT, PT and maybe something else. My dad was a huge flirt (gee, wonder where I get it?) so he loved talking to the nurses and therapists about all kinds of things.
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We’ve had a good experience with this rehab before (my father spent time here after he broke his hip 4 years ago and my mother was just here after her acute kidney failure in January). The will definitely work him - three hours per day of PT and OT. Before this latest hospitalization, he was able to walk (with the walker) and take himself to the commode. Hoping to get him back to that baseline asap, and then focus on managing steps. My mother and I have determined that steps are the required thing for him to be at home and not need a 24/7 aide.
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Sorry in advance for the lengthy post - I need to unload. We just returned from visiting MIL for a few days. MIL was actually doing pretty well, and we had a great first day full of engagement. The other two days were mostly watching her sleep, but that’s not uncommon for her. On our final day, we went to dinner with SIL & her H, who had stayed away while we were there (we always encourage them to do that so they get some break).
We did NOT expect what we discovered at dinner. Without going into too much backstory, H & I have commented on SIL’s reliance on her H for everything over the past several years - even joking that she lets him think for her. It got worse during her year & a half of chemo & radiation for breast cancer, but the truth is that it started before that. It’s really clear now, though … there is something very wrong with her, and it’s not a laughing matter.
She has almost no short term memory. She is often dizzy and has been falling for the past few months. She appears to have issues with executive function. Yesterday, her doctor told her she has to stop driving. She was absolutely devastated. Her H has taken her to several doctors, but they all seem to operate in their own silos, and they can’t figure out what is causing her issues. A lot of her issues remind me of my mom’s dementia symptoms, but the dizziness and falling makes it a different animal.
Her PCP had prescribed bp meds, and BIL got her doctor to take her off those. They will be meeting with a cardiologist soon. She had an MRI, and nothing showed up that was concerning. They will continue trying to figure things out.
To complicate matters, they are the locals for MIL. They promised her she doesn’t have to move again, so they don’t want us to move her near us. On our return drive today, H & I decided that we need to contact a woman from church who does elder care legal guardian work to ask her to recommend local facilities for us to visit and interview. We are actually more concerned now about 73 year old SIL than we are about 99 year old MIL. We need to get our ducks in a row in case we have to make some drastic changes quickly.
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Oh no — what a terrible shock this all must be, and how helpful it might be to have ideas of alternatives, smart call. I am so sorry
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Gosh, you do have a need to unload. That’s a tricky situation.
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Her symptoms do sound like some type of dementia - brain issue. Your BIL probably needs to get a neurologist to do a thorough evaluation of her.
My friend had an unmarried relative in her 50s who during the pandemic was isolated in her home alone. None of her family realized until they started to see again, that in the 1 1/2 years they did not see her regularly, she had developed early onset dementia. Little things made no sense, like she kept on losing jobs (because she was losing executive function), but they didn’t connect the dots until lockdown ended and they spent time with her.
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How is her gait? Is she falling because of the dizziness or because she’s shuffling?
I’m sorry you are dealing with so much.
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My mom - now 77 - has severe short term memory loss. It started in 2023. We went on a vacation to Florida for a week and when we got home she completely forgot it happened. Has also had falls, including out of bed. She has had all the scans and tests - it isn’t dementia. No signs of Alzheimer’s. She does have a history of anxiety, ADHD and depression for which she has been medicated for decades. It’s been extremely difficult because she is so disagreeable when it comes to changing meds and trying to find answers. I hope your family can get answers. It’s very scary.
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I’m sorry about your mom. Mine also had severe memory issues (along with executive function problems and behavior changes). She died of something unrelated before she was ever diagnosed with anything brain related - it was difficult and frustrating. SIL also has ADHD, which is what we initially blamed things on.
@Youdon_tsay, she doesn’t shuffle the way her dad, who had Parkinson’s, did. It’s more like she takes small steps because she’s afraid of falling. She started falling here & there due to dizziness a couple years ago. Her falling has increased over the past four months - two months ago when we saw her, she fell over while standing and talking. So I guess the falls are due to dizziness.
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I am so sorry this has been heaped on your already full plate 
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@kelsmom So sorry about your SIL. You are dealing with a lot.
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