Just got home from moving my folks into a senior community. They are in a lovely independent living apartment - brand new kitchen, balcony, lovely community with lots of activities. I took them to orientation, we tried the mailbox key and they got their swipe card for meals. Pretty much exactly what I did when I took S to college!
Here is my summary and advice for anyone looking at this task.
I did not start early enough packing. I live an hour away and if I could have gone down once a week and decluttered a closet and packed up non essentials it would have been great. We did some purging before but not enough.
On Tuesday I arrived at their house and staged things. I put stickers on all the furniture to be moved and different ones on all the items to remain at the house (it is not on the market yet). Wednesday I had a packing company come that I hired in desperation last week, after I realized I would never get to everything. For example, my mom really purged her china cabinet and gave away a lot of items but still had her nice china and wine glasses. For some reason, until last week, I thought if I had a couple of boxes and a few newspapers I could pack up that baby in an hour or so. WRONG.
The professional packers needed 4 hours with two workers to pack the china cabinet and all the breakable kitchen items. And they had all the supplies. Nothing broke, they did a great job. In my case, worth the money.
On Thursday we went to orientation and signed the contracts. It was a LOT of information and it was good that I was there as mom and dad had trouble retaining all of it after a bit. We then had lunch in the community’s club room and came home where I finished packing up pots and pans and organizing each room for the movers. I tried to keep all the items to go on the truck together and away from the items that were staying.
Friday - moving day! The neighbors had invited mom and dad to go out to breakfast and hang at their house while the house was packed up. BEST DECISION EVER. They would have been in the way and sentimental and worried about everything the movers touched.
I cleaned out the fridge and packed up the last of the food while they loaded the truck. I loaded my car with some more personal and sentimental stuff, plus our suitcases packed with 2 days of clothes and medicines, just in case.
We arrived at the apartment at lunchtime. The community sent up lunch for us and we got to work. The movers moved everything in, following my directions of where it went. TIP - plan out the floor plan way in advance and think of things like cable outlets, light switches, and most important - mobility and maneuverability around furniture for elders who may use a walker in the future.
By then my husband and kids had come and my daughter attacked the kitchen. She posted notes on each cabinet listing what was inside so mom could easily find her way around. My mom is not organized or intuitive in those aspects, so we set her up in a logical way in hopes that this would reduce the stress she feels when she can’t find medicine bottles or utensils.
I created a dedicated space and drawer for information. I stocked it with pens and pencils, notepads, and the charger for her iPad and phone. I also put the community’s directory and calendar there next to the phone. I am hoping she continues to use this as a central place for information since she will need to learn so many new things and details (fitness class times, dining hours etc)
To my amazement, the four of us managed to unpack about 75% of the boxes on Friday. We loaded books back into their bookcase, clothes in the closet, and food in the cupboards. We had dinner brought in again and collapsed about 8:00.
Today we finished it all. Realized we needed some things and made a Target run. I left them there in good shape. I think they will do well, but there will be some bumps. My dad, who has a mild brain injury, did ask when he was going home, but just once. But then he caught on.
Random tips for future movers:
Don’t forget the TV remotes. The packers packed up the TVs but did not take the remotes. I ran back to the house for them.
Bring your own toilet paper. Everything was pristine but there were no paper goods.
The movers would not take the mattress pads and comforters on the beds because they were not packed or bagged. It didn’t occur to me to pack them since we had to sleep in them the night before. I should have had a box or heavy duty bag ready for them. Instead i had to throw them as-is into my car.
Don’t forget extension cords and surge protectors. Mom and dad’s were very old, very short, and even had adaptors on them. I did not trust them so we bought more at Target.
Consider lighting in the new place. We did not realize we would need a floor lamp of some type in the living room. It was smaller than the old house’s and so we could not take the end table which held a lamp. Also the dining nook was ready for a hanging lamp/chandelier but we did not have one so it is dark in there at night until I can buy one.
Definitely plan to have your parent(s) occupied for part of move day. It is just so much work and mentally it will be tough on them. Plus they are probably not able to do much physically. I brought them into the apartment when it was time to ask them where they wanted certain things.
Have a bottle of wine or beer in your fridge for when you get home. You will need it.
It was one of the most emotionally up-and-down weeks of my life. I haven’t spent that many nights sleeping at my parents’ house since I was single. We pushed each others buttons, but then I also enjoyed having large amounts of time to visit. I loved that my daughter helped my mom sort through her jewelry box and learned all about the items mom had from her mom, and my son listened to my dad tell him about the various things he had collected from his career.
Whew, did not intend for this to be so wordy, but it was kind of cathartic to write down. Hope it helps someone.
On the phone, they seemed like they had everything under control. But, when I arrived, 2 days prior to the move day (house was sold, they needed to move that day), they was much disaster all around. There is a lot I would have done differently.