Hello! My mom lives in assisted living in another state, and I travel 4 hours each way to help with her care about once a month. She has lost her glasses and we have no clue who her eye doctor is. Mom has dementia and yet is still “with us” for the most part. She knows who we are and still manages to have conversation.
Has anyone taken an elderly person stuck in a wheelchair to get an eye exam? I always have to sit up in a special chair at my eye doctor, and not sure Mom will be able to do that. Surely there are accommodations for wheelchair-bound patients?
Also, what about dementia? The eye exam leans heavily on the patient telling the doctor which lense looks clearer. Mom takes 5 minutes to decide between 2 main dishes at lunch. Any suggestions? Thanks!
FYI, my siblings and I decluttered mom’s super messy home and got it sold this spring. She had lived in the home since 1968, but had lived alone for the last 15 years and had hoarded everything that had entered her home since my dad died. We hope Mom lives a while longer, but are relieved that when she passes we will only have to clear out the room she is living in at this facility.
zeebamom- I’ve had my share of jerky bosses - more than my share maybe. The sad thing is I have no advice, just support. You’ll find a way to get through it one way or another.
powercropper, call around and find opticians that do objective tests for vision assessment, tests that don’t require the person to report what they are seeing. Also, ask at her assisted living facility about which opticians their patients tend to use. You should be able to find an optician that understands how to assess the vision of patients with moderate dementia.
Is she still capable of reading and looking at puzzles, magazines, etc.? Does she use glasses for distance or reading only? Does she or has she had cataracts, glaucoma or macular degeneration? My mother’s opthalmologist was a saint and spent a great deal of time with her as her dementia progressed. At one point, he used a pediatric chart and she stayed seated in the wheelchair during the field of vision testing and the exam. Finally, her glaucoma was stable for about 5 years, she had her lense implants done, and she was not longer doing puzzles or able to read or even see the TV due to macular degeneration and her doctor advised to stop the visits.
OMG!!! Just stopped my mom from ordering a magazine that took me a year to cancel and stop the mail from back when she moved in here 2 1/2 years ago.
I can’t stand these places - they will send her 20 different come-ons for additional small magazines, then book clubs then labels and calendars and more books and on and on… Is there any place that is safe to order from that does not send a million additional come-ons?
I’m not completely cold hearted - I have bought her actual books and magazines from a store instead of ordering anything and getting on a junk mail list.
Good idea to mail the issues or bring them to her yourself. The relentless magazine billing cycle makes me crazy. They all auto renew forever. DD got DH a one year subscription; only having a new credit card number issued after a security breach spared her a lifetime of billing. They kept sending both the magazine and the billing reminders. Returned the billing notice requesting the new credit card info with a cancellation request.
I give very few organizations the card number for auto-renew.
My mother got a couple of the scam calls saying they were the iRS and after her, how she needed to call them with her attorney’s name and number. Yeah, right. Fortunately, she didn’t fall for it.
My Mom fell for two “very nice” girls selling her a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine that cost an arm and a leg. She was embarrassed when she realized that she had been duped into paying several times more what she could have gotten in on-line.
The magazine thing is a hot button with me, too. I cancelled ten subscriptions when she moved, she has no access to money, yet last time I went I see she has a magazine subscription in her name coming to the Al place.
I was a week into a two week vacation and mom fell and broke her arm. I am not rushing back. I am kind of annoyed that my brother isn’t going to at least take her to orthopedic dr when she goes Monday, but he just tore open his whole kitchen , including outside wall. He has to button that up first I agree. My DH jad a bet that she would do something, I didn’t think she would because she is too confused to cry wolf like she used to do years ago, but a broken bone is unexpected.
FIL in nursing home (stroke) is getting an att&t phone system set up soon for the room. Have you found a time that is better than others to call on a Saturday or Sunday? My mother in an AL does better Sunday at 3 PM but I think the NH does naps at that time. He does have mild dementia. We don’t want him hanging out in the room to get calls, as he does go to meals and hangs out at the nursing station. We will ask nursing and maybe they will know best.
Mom is moving to the AFH on Wednesday. Today we cleared out her apartment and moved things into a storage unit. She will be able to have her dresser, a small bookcase, and a chair in her room. The storage unit is just kicking the can down the road, but there’s just too much involved with dividing stuff up right now.
I did some shopping for her today; JJill has 25% off, plus they gave me another 10% off for a belated birthday.
Nice knit pants and shirts - she’s worn the same clothes for 4 months now and is over them.
Sending hugs to all of you. My parents keep on doing well enough, which means no POA or other documents because they are fine now…I’ll be back in a while, unless HD and I just go batty sooner!
We are extremely thankful that my father when dying made my mother do a POA (age 85). And FIL totally out of character (probably because his sister had one) did a POA (age 93). both were invaluable when they got suddenly seriously ill and we had to step in and pay the bills and make medical decisions.
After over a year in a nursing home/rehab facility, my 83 year old dad passed away three weeks ago, after suffering a severe stroke three weeks before that. My mother, siblings and I were so very satisfied with all the medical care he received over the past two years, with wonderful nursing care in the nursing home.
We really miss him.
I’ve posted just a few times in this thread but have learned many useful things over the years, thanks to all for the great information.
