CF, welcome back to the green side. What a trauma with your Mom.
FYI, my mom was able to stay in assisted living with my having the guardianship. Not sure if it is true in other states/facilities, but Mom stayed in her little apartment for a couple of years. Until recently, when she would wander. Now she is a building that is locked but she can wander and be with people so much more.
Edit to add. Mom needed to move for other reasons, too. She handled the move OK, without seeming to go into too much shock. But the spacing when she goes blank for a few and can’t talk or move seem to be increasing. Then it takes her a day or so to find her words again. But she keeps popping back. Frequency seems to have moved from 6 weeks to 3 or 4. I am wondering if she will last while DH and I take a vacation. I did buy trip insurance.
While I have followed and silently supported each and every one of you through these difficult times since you offered such comfort when my dad died, I return because my father-in-law passed away totally unexpectedly (except for the fact that he was 87) last Thursday evening. My H and I were at the airport ready to board a plane when my SIL texted him that his dad had a massive heart attack. But he time we were able to get to the hospital, he was gone. There is a level of dysfunction in that family that makes my hair curl, and to see the finger pointing and hear the accusations about whether my MIL acted fast enough…it’s unbelievable. The funeral was Sunday and I suspect the coming days are going to be very difficult. Actually, I know they are. My H had a very complicated relationship with his father (he runs the family business) and his sisters are scared and lashing out at my H. Thanks for listening.
That’s a lot, runnersmom. Sorry for all you are going through and best to your husband as he navigates things with his family. Extra tough when not anticipated and others are not making sense. Take good care.
@runnersmom so sorry for the sudden family loss. Even in the best of circumstances an 87 year old is going to be very medically compromised. A 81 YO family friend who was in excellent shape (speed race walking state champion for his age) and had a car accident - the docs said they had never seen an 81 YO in such fantastic shape/health condition outside of the injuries, and they expected him to recover despite the 5 ribs that pierced his lung - well after a few days in ICU he died.
The business situation complicates things. Hope you and your H can overlook some of the comments that are sure to occur, and support your MIL as well with her grief.
So many feelings at a death of a parent, even in families who get along, I can only imagine the angst in a family with strained relationships. Your DH runs the business, he is now the new head of the family by proxy, he’ll bear the brunt of it. Hard to believe anyone is blaming MIL for any aspect in the death of an 87 year old!
Sending hugs and prayers. It must be so difficult to witness the dysfunction. Sending an extra prayer for your husband who now must assume the leadership role and still must sort out his own feelings.
I can relate @runnersmom . My FIL passed away a few years ago and the family disfunction just added to the stress of the situation. So sorry for you loss.
Drat! Thought we had the POA hill conquered, but the IRA custodian just called and said our paperwork is nice and all, but he needs to hear FIL state (on the phone is ok, fortunately) that the POA applies to the IRA specifically. So BIL will have a lovely visit with his dad tomorrow and call the guy. Hope FIL is in a mood to cooperate.
Yeah, BTDT, MomofJandL. Hope it goes smoothly tomorrow.
I really hope that the lawyers in all these corporate law departments get faced with the kind of horrible bureaucracy we got put through on the POA front.
gahhh POA’s, I think I will have PTSD from them for a long time. Still dueling with the IRS, but everyone else has finally acquiesced after many a bitter battle.
@runnersmom sorry for the difficulties! seems so unnecessary, but unstoppable. hugs
