So sorry for your loss, somemom.
I’m sorry for your loss somemom. I’m also sorry that her last six months were not good ones. ((hugs))
Condolences, some mom. I hope your DH will cope well. Wishing peace for all the family.
So sorry.
@arabrab thanks for posting link to ny times dementia article - fascinating
@somemom – I am sorry for your loss.
somemom, I’m so sorry.
somemom, may your memories be a comfort and blessing to your family.
Death & the process is all very interesting. We are doing the service as FIL wants, it’s all about showing off, catered lunch, church service (and my goodness, they charge more than I expected), flowers, etc. DH hates what is being done, he was not invited to speak (he knows he certainly could if he wanted to assert himself, just annoying not to be offered.) Essentially this day will be the FIL show, him accepting sympathy from friends of the last 50 years. DH & I and BIL/SIL, we would reduce the guest list from 100+ to only include the people who visited her in the Board and Care home in the last five months. That handful could go to MIL’s favorite place and talk about her quietly.
It’s just very interesting how everyone has a different death ritual.
Also, may I tell you all that I am quite unimpressed with the Trident Society, supposedly all the arrangements are predone and prepaid. But no, MIL sits in a refrigerator some where. They will not even talk to DH, nor will they provide the all important paperwork until they talk to the next of kin (FIL) who is deaf and cannot really talk on the phone. We are dealing with it, but it’s stupid and why is there a ton of paperwork and contracting to do when this was “all taken care of.” If they try to charge us, we will be most unhappy. I am imagining some sort of storage fee for all this time!
Somemom, I am so sorry for your loss and also that your FIL is being so difficult and that the various arrangements are hurtful to your dh and to you too. I can only hope that the service and lunch are somehow a comfort to your MIL’s survivors.
somemom, so sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your DH as you grieve while helping your FIL.
@somemom, sending thoughts and prayers. Also, wishing the gift of patience for you and your family as you go through the funeral.
@somemom , so sorry. It never seems to go at all smoothly even with pre planning in my experience.
Article about the frustrations of powers of attorney.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/10/health/finding-out-your-power-of-attorney-is-powerless.html
I have to ‘budget’ my on-line reading of NYTimes articles - I only can read 10 per month, and I have read the POA article and the May 6 article/opinion “Why You Can’t Lose Weight on a Diet”. (May 8 NY Times edition “Never Diet Again”.) - Sandra Aamodt, neuroscientist - looks like she will soon have a book coming out “Why Diets Make Us Fat: The Unintended Consequences of Our Obsession with Weight Loss”.
I am trying to stick to 80/20 - 80 on the diet/calories and 20 on the exercise.
Sorry about the parents deaths and disabilities etc for all those in the trenches. BIL and his GF are celebrating/watching over parents this weekend. In-Laws are doing as well as can be expected with their illnesses and age.
Flew to visit my mother these next few days, she is in an assisted living for 2 years, 93, moderate dementia. The nurses and care givers are saints. Well the AL is named after a saint anyway. She is very well cared for and adjusted. Also, strangely more calm and more ‘pleasantly confused’. That is good. I am staying in a hotel as usual. She kind of recognizes me.
So I bought crayons and a coloring book to try out with my mother -as above. Will see tomorrow if she is interested. Anyone ever try this?
That sounds fun. I should try that with my mom. She loves word searches so I’m always looking for new ones each month as she finished the others. Who knew walmart had new puzzle books every couple weeks?
I sent coloring book and fine tip markers to my mother in law.
Turns out she has cataracts and slight eye vision issue now ( cataract procedure will be done in August )
Good luck - let us know how she likes it!
My mom was pretty insulted by the coloring book, it was one of those black velvet with bright markers. However, the al place has huge ones out on their table and there are people on it nearly every time I go.
I found it kind of relaxing though…