I hope everything is okay, @yauponredux.
@yaupontedux- context matters. Hope you get further info soon. This is tough.
Thanks, @rosered55 and @travelnut. My mom went outside to pick flowers, tripped, and fell. Stitches on her face and bruises but so lucky nothing was broken and CAT scan clear. They spent a long nine hours in the crowded and noisy ER, though, by the time it was all said & done. My dad is showing signs of Alzheimer’s and has always been very protective of my mom, so it was hard for him.
Mom didn’t have her cell phone in her purse and so didn’t have our numbers. My sister learned of all this when she grew worried about not being able to reach them and called a friend/ ER doc who found my mom in the system. Grateful my sister is well-connected and lives near my folks! We are making laminated cards with all our contact info for both parents’ wallets and their car.
^that sounds scary- glad it wasn’t worse. Laminated cards are a great idea.
The wallet cards are a must I have found. As to the good humor of Alzheimer’s, I have my dad a father’s day card and had them over my house for dinner. It was fun watching their delight in discovering the card 4 times that night. “Oh I got a card!” “Oh, you got a card, can I see?”
I made and laminated cards for my mom to have on the table next to her recliner - speed dial numbers for her children on one and passwords for log in and email on the other. They can stay there and not be ruined when water spills.
FIL has been weaker and weaker this month, we had been pushing for him to stay in his AL room to see if he woul regain strength, but that is not happening. I got the final call yesterday, hire an aide 15 hours a day to sit with him, move him to SNF, or B&C. The family had agreed, FIL included, months ago, that it would be B&C. We cannot let him get an aide and like it so I am flying there today to move him.
It was really hard to get a straight answer from the AL, but I felt like they would just move him to their SNF one day without telling us. He also got in trouble this week for offensive racist comments.
All the best with the transition, somemom. The family is lucky to have your support.
Good luck, @somemom. Have you already identified the B&C?
Yes, we are using the same people who had Mom, but a different location. Nice people, good communication, excellent to work with. If BIL/SIL want to make any changes, they are welcome to go make them next month. Me, I am getting him out of the AL before they coax him into staying, he might not remember he hated it, but we promised him that he would not stay there for SNF.
On the day this began I contacted the Hospice we used previously, they went out the next morning and did a long interview & intake. He loved it, just soaked up all that attention.
So, day 1, your Dad is not working out in AL; Day 2, hospice accepts him, but that still is not enough support, AL says move him, I arrange with B&C, day 3 fly down, day 4, move him to B&C.
Glad I had thought this through previously
Mostly this is just a vent, but if anyone has suggestions, please feel free to post or PM me.
My mom, who lives many states away, and lives on social security only (lost much of her limited life savings in a house purchase gone bad), has had issues for some time. She’s a long term smoker (has COPD, but she would deny that), has been “mal-nourished” (5’7" and less than 100 lbs, but now she’s up to 112), can’t hear well (almost never wears her hearing aids), and takes way too many painkillers (she is finally letting someone give her the pills at the right time, and that’s helping a lot), and has for many years. She also takes many other drugs (all prescribed), including depression medicine, blood pressure medicine, nerve pain medicine, anti-anxiety medicine, and I can’t remember what else. She lives in a house with her sister and brother-in-law. Another sister also lived there, but she died recently. They were all very stressed with the other sister, who was on the edge of death for at least a couple of years. So it’s very sad, but overall she is doing better now that she doesn’t have that worry, even though she really didn’t/couldn’t help much with her sister. She does not get along great with the sister she is currently living with, but claims she wants to stay there, at least for now.
My mom has been having “memory issues” for some time now. She brought it up with her doctor on multiple occasions, including her latest visit, which was just today. Her sister asked for her to be sent to a neurologist today, because of the memory problems. Her regular doctor did a memory test in his office, and prescribed 2 drugs for her memory. They said her score was 16 out of 30, which I gather is considered moderate dementia. He did not refer her to a neurologist though.
So, I have multiple issues -
Should I try to get involved and insist she get sent to a neurologist and any other doctor who might be able to find reasons she may have such bad memory problems, or should I accept that prescribing the meds and having her try them is the best thing to do? She is part of an HMO in Florida, so I can’t have tests done where I live.
Her doc said she really can’t live alone any longer, and will likely need assisted living. My aunt’s husband is retired, and for now he doesn’t mind helping her out, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.
Another question is, should I look for assisted living near me (both my husband and I work full-time plus, but could visit often if she’s close), in Florida, where she currently lives and has a couple of relatives, or in the state where she spent much of her life, and has a sister who doesn’t work and says she would be happy to have her? Seems like the obvious choice is near me, but what should I know/be considering?
I have known for some time that she’d likely wind up with me for some period of time. I posted on this thread many months ago, but then things seemed to settle down/get better. Now overall she is still better than she was months ago, but this memory thing is likely long term, and is not going to get better. I need to start making decisions and figuring out how things will get paid for. I am an only child, so there is nobody else to help. I assume Medicaid will likely pay for some things, but I really don’t know.
Sorry for the long post. It did help me get myself “together” some.
I have a suggestion about the diagnosis and treatment. Would it be possible for your mom to see another doctor? I say this because if your mom’s memory problems are being caused by Alzheimer’s disease or a similar dementia, the drugs probably won’t do much for her (and might interact poorly with the medications she’s already taking). But certain other causes of memory problems are very treatable, and it would be good to know if the cause is one of those things. Good luck.
@rosered55, thanks for suggesting that. I really want to call and ask them to do more tests at least.
How long, how serious on memory issues? Some of that is normal to aging. Or stresses. Has she been checked for a UTI? I’d want to know the new meds and google side effects.
Her age?
Many of her medications may impact cognition and perhaps have interactions among them. In addition to seeing a neurologist, I would consider an assessment by a geriatric pharmacologist.
All the best. It is timely to get a handle on this and it will be helpful in determining the next steps.
Definitely to a neurologist. B12 deficiency, thyroid issues, urinary tract infection, side effects from meds?
I would think that having your mother closer to you, would be easier for you as things get more complicated.
Sending cyber hug. It’s not easy
I don’t see much use of going to a neurologist. There really isn’t much more the neurologist can do besides prescribe medications (the same ones given) that may help a little, but a good chance they won’t. I suspect things such as B12, thyroid, and UTI have been ruled out. But “nerve” and “pain” medications on an aging brain-- Oh my! With your mom’s smoking habit, there is a good chance she has vascular dementia and maybe mixed with Alzheimer’s. The neurologist can’t change that. I would ask the primary to wean down the pain and nerve medication. Yes to getting your mom as close to you as possible. Before you call and ask to do “more tests,” find out what has been done and what the standard of care is. Since the doctor cares for aging patients, I suspect he/she knows the right tests to do.
@1214mom I am sorry to hear about your complicated situation. It’s tough to know what to do regarding a possible move!
Regarding the new drugs for dementia, it sounds like perhaps your mom was given the MMSE, Mini Mental State Exam. This is a screening tool, not diagnostic. The purpose of a screen is to identify if further testing or consultation is warranted. I think if it was me I’d seek a consultation with a specialist.
@gtalum when FIL had infection he tested very low in hospital on diagnostic mental exam. Antibiotic and he reverted to his new baseline,which was diminished but not that bad, had a dr medicated him based on that test it would not have been good. He passed of alzheimers / dementia last summer.
I have heard about many drs prescribing meds for dementia, which will have detrimental effects. At an alzheimrrs conference last spring the keynote speaker emphasized how some anti–anxiety should not be used. I would want my mother’s care directed by trained specialist. There may be a long, windy road ahead.