Ice cream can be healthy. I would look for frozen yogurt which has been shown to help with gut health. Turkey Hill in my area of the Northeast has some pretty wild frozen yogurt flavors like chocolate marshmallow. There are ice cream flavors with nuts and even some with eggs. There are no sugar added and low carb versions that don’t taste too bad.
I’d also think about peanut butter and butter or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Easy to make, and maybe can switch the bread around. Cookies that are more like oatmeal cookies (there are Belvita cookies that are supposed to be healthy).
We put chia seeds or flax in our ice cream. They are very healthy.
If he can agree to eat some things he can’t finish much of, maybe he can work with you to make a longer list than ice cream. I am also having a feeling about a potential stomach issue. Is it possible he has acid reflux or ulcers? Sometimes my ulcers act up so much that certain foods are all I can tolerate. Even though milk is considered “bad” for acid reflux and ulcers now, maybe the ice cream truly makes him feel better.
Thank you @rhandco. He is at a stage where he won’t be able to say what he wants to eat. The only need he can still express verbally is bathroom.
He does consistently protest medications, bathing etc and has to be tricked or cajoled into taking/doing these things.
I know there were puddings that were similar to Ensure that people use, and can also be used to slip in medicines.
Did I mention that we found out my “supposedly with it” 90 year old dad decided that changing sheets on his bed was a waste of time, and it has probably been YEARS since he changed them? Apparently, he thinks putting on clean pajamas once per week is enough to not have to change his sheets!
IMHO, if your dad can’t say what he wants to eat, but he will eat a decent bowl of ice cream, I’d work with that. My family is kind of casserole crazy, we make casseroles with mashed potatoes, ground beef, and corn that end up pretty good. It has been compared to ice cream with mix-ins…
All the best dealing with him. I know it is frustrating to try to get someone to eat.
Some packaged foods have too much sodium, its own problem when on certain meds. We can’t necessarily try to put a 90 yo on a diet for younger folks. Often they just can’t process that.
Twicer, are they trying small portions (matching about what he will eat) and more of these small meals/day?
Of course the portions are small, and he does not even finish those. Multiple meals might be worth trying, but I suspect it will just result in more wasted food. Currently he (barely) eats 3 meals a day, and fruit in between.
Twicer, your FIL is so far advanced into his dementia that he is no longer verbal? I see no reason why he should not subsist mostly on ice cream and whatever foods he likes.
My mom, who is 92 with mild dementia, eats very little. Her caregiver offers her food, which she often refuses. We try to tempt her with her favorites, but other than her fiber which she has to have or she gets very uncomfortable, nobody insists. What would be the point? She’s not an Olympic athlete. She’s someone in the last years of her life, and we want her to be as happy as possible.
I am 100% in favor of people who are over a certain age or are demented being able to eat what they enjoy. My Dad had cancer for several years, untreatable, but slow moving. One med made him borderline diabetic & we (the family) all wanted him to eat carefully, address the diabetes, eat healthy for cancer, etc) and we had a visit with the doc who told us, any calorie is a good calorie for Dad, he should be able to eat anything he wants and not feel obligated to eat healthy. That instruction freed us completely to just let him do what he wanted and make him tempting foods.
I would support the ice cream diet for that person
Also, I have a sensitive stomach and I have learned to be in touch with what I crave, I seem to feel the best when I eat what I am craving, might be vanilla ice cream and cottage cheese and white toast if I am nauseated, might be something else some other time, but my body feels best when I eat what my body tells me it wants. Maybe these seniors are also experiencing something like that.
We’ve been having the same sorts of discussions re: our mother. She has mild dementia and lives in an adult family home. The owner has to report things to the state and is concerned about food intake as well as meds.
Mom doesn’t want to eat sometimes. She gets tired of food and antibiotics wreak havoc on her tummy. We are pushing protein because she’s type 2 diabetic, but sometimes the milkshake goes down easier. It gets to the point where calories are more important than quality, you know? She’s decided no more soup - it fills her up w/o giving enough calories. Bread has to be the good stuff, no more white.
Mom told a sib last night - new rule: if the pill comes out of her mouth it doesn’t go back in. Fine if it is Claritin or Tylenol. Not so good if it’s the important stuff.
@“Cardinal Fang” a person can be verbal, yet not able to verbalize wishes of certain complexity. If we ask “What would you like to eat?” he won’t be able to answer, because it requires remembering foods like chicken, steak, fish, ice-cream, fruit, and choosing the one he wants. He is not capable of this process anymore, but if asked “Will you have some chicken?” he’ll say yes. And he does like chicken, fish, etc, yet will not eat more than a few bites.
His vocabulary is very limited at this stage: yes, no, I don’t want anymore, leave me alone, give me this, and just a few more words and phrases.
@Twicer, it might be worthwhile for the person to see his physician, for evaluation of chewing and swallowing problems. Perhaps the stopping eating after a few bites is because of mechanical difficulties.
@twicer teepa snow, Alzheimer’s expert who trains health care workers
Has great you tube video-
She suggests for giving crushed medications to use Jam ( with seeds )
The texture is acceptable, and unlike pudding or apple sauce, the patient less likely to spit it out.
Alzheimers / dementia is such a sad journey.
I strongly believe that not wanting to eat is a normal end of life process. @Twicer what would be the harm if he just ate ice cream? Or nothing at all? I think making food a battle is a lose/lose for the caregiver.
@GTalum This situation with food has been going on for several years, so I am not sure the term “end of life” is applicable here.
You are right though that the attempts to maintain a varied and healthful diet somehow turn food into a battle, and it is frustrating all concerned.
Whew, I thought I might catch some flak for mentioning chocolate and ice cream as acceptable meals. Glad to hear that many of you are on the same page as we are. Food battles are just not worth it with an elderly ill person. It’s very freeing to be able to let go.
Throwing out a thought here. My mom loved ice cream. Her stays in the hospital always included them getting her extra ice cream. My one sister was such a stickler and terrible pain in the a$$ to my mom about eating better. But you know what, she’s gone now, it didn’t make a bit of difference. If it made her happy and gave her calories - who cares. Not sure I’d say the fights and struggles my sister had with mom over her food was worth it. Give your parents some extra ice cream tonight on me.
In some ways, food battles are reminiscent of food battles some families have with their toddlers. Somehow, it seems more pointless and lose/lose when it’s an aging patient who has very few joys left in life and struggles to consume sufficient calories. I hope we don’t have such battles–so far, we are all happy to let my folks eat what gives them joy.
I think of “end of life” as going on for many years, especially with the slow trajectory of Alzheimer’s. My parents may live many more years, but they are dealing with end of life issues with losing financial independence, the ability to drive, soon to be need for a visiting nurse for dressing changes after her upcoming Moh’s surgery (couldn’t manage the instructions of apply vaseline and cover with a band-aid once a day after the biopsy), and the isolation (even at the CCRC) due to memory loss.
It may be terrible to say, but if eating only ice cream all day can save some months of suffering down the road, I wouldn’t discourage it. I have parents who always ate well and exercised and they still got Alzheimer’s. I know food doesn’t have magical powers.
