<p>For my kids, we have accummulated a lot of wooden toys, mostly from Costco & also from a nearby toystore that sells them & educational toys. The kids love them & only now that they’re 19 & 21 are willing to part with them & let us store them in the attic! Most of the other things we bought for the kids were fairly inexpensive & lots of the clothes that they could use for the year. They got a lot of hand-me-downs, so they appreciated having some new things.
I also bought great things at the thrift shop, especially when they were young & kept going through sizes in no time at all. I especially loved it when it was everything you could fit into a brown paper shopping bag for $1! We got a lot of books that way & were able to get their size when I couldn’t find it at the stores.</p>
<p>For the most part, we generally spent about $50-100/child. Only recently have we started spending more because the things they need are more costly & generally related to school/future work.</p>
<p>I thought this was going to be a snarky thread about our parents choices for the holidays- sad gifts for adult children, choosing one kid over the other, not speaking at Christmas, etc.</p>
<p>Well…our entire Christmas budget for gifts isn’t $600 and never has been. When my kids were three years old, they got a stocking full of goodies, one thing they asked Santa for, and some books. Last year we spent about $150 for a gift for each of the two kids…and they were special requests…but my kids are 20 and 24.</p>
<p>Computers and other electronics have shown up on the Christmas list which has bumped the cost up to over $600 some years for some kids. That did not mean each kid got $600. My one son got his senior trip as his gift one year. He so wanted to go, and it was very expensive. We got some inexpensive stuff themed for the trip and a check for the trip. We have gone on vacation on Christmas day, so the gifts were the packed bags with gifts that were things needed for the trip in the bags.</p>
<p>My sister in law’s family does little in terms of gift giving for Christmas. They limit the gifts so there is little fuss. However, those kids have so much. THey get things all through the year rather than at Christmas. Things that would be a big gift for my kids like going on a ski trip is no big deal for them, just another activity. They can honestly say they do not spend as much on Christmas as we do, but the kids who are the same ages as mine have much much more than my kids in terms of clothes, stuff, electronics, vacations, ski trips, etc, etc. We tend to package a lot of things into Christmas so we have gone over $600 on a number of occasions.</p>
<p>I have always tried to keep Christmas gift-giving simple, even more so these days as I am older and trying to declutter (so my kids don’t need to deal with it all after I am gone)! I like to focus on the visiting, music and decorations rather than the shopping.</p>
<p>When the kids were small they did get stockings filled with fun items and by the tree would be some nice books, a new ornament for each of them related to an interest of theirs, and often a special “play” time gift. (K’nex or Legos for my son, a calligraphy set for my daughter, puzzles, etc.) Flannel pajamas and sheets as well. I guess at some point each of them did get a bike for Christmas. Also, one year we did surprise my daughter with a silver flute, a significant upgrade from the student flute she had used since first grade. She was serious about her music and her flute teacher felt she was ready for and deserved the upgraded instrument and helped me make the purchase. We just timed the purchase to make it a special Christmas gift that year. It was a luxury item but one she did make good use of for her music involvements and she played it throughout college. That was probably our most extravagant gift over the years.</p>
<p>(We never upgraded my son’s trumpet though – although we would have if he had been better about practicing!) In college, he still plays the student trumpet he got in fourth grade!</p>
<p>These days my kids are both young adults. Last year I got everyone in the family new pillows, which were needed. They were special though as I got down pillows of “hotel” quality and got really nice pillowcases for them as well. </p>
<p>This year each of my kids is “in a relationship” and I may give each of them a gift certificate for tickets for two for some production they would really like to see over the holidays with their “significant other.”</p>
<p>I know some families who have dropped the gifts for each other and instead focus on donating to some microfinancing programs or donate to other charities. I like that idea and am thinking of moving in that direction.</p>
<p>We eliminated gifting with my extended family years ago and now just like to focus on getting together with them.</p>
<p>We do not give gifts to extended family as a matter of course. The exception is if the members are present on Christmas day when we open our gifts. Gifts are getting problematic now that there are 5 big “kids”. If each of them give each family member a gift, it gets to be too much. I’ve been encouraging group gifts as a result.</p>
<p>When my S was 2, he was the only grandchild - and he got overloaded with Christmas gifts. I think it actually scared him. The only thing he had asked for was Duplos, and each box he opened he said, “But I didn’t order this.” He was becoming more and more upset until I found the package with the Duplos and gave it to him. Then he was happy. He actually quit opening presents to eat breakfast.</p>
<p>That was a learning experience for us. Eventually, as more grandchildren arrived, even the grandparents learned to cut back (they couldn’t afford to bury multiple grandkids with gifts)!</p>
<p>Kids (especially young ones) are easily overwhelmed by “too much.” It is definitely a sign when the kid loses interest in opening the presents. My sister’s kids have tons of “stuff,” so much so that you literally trip over “stuff” any time you go there but she continues to want more & more “stuff” for them. Her kids often lose interest in opening their gifts & have a very hard time remembering who gave them what.</p>
<p>When too much “stuff” is received at one time, I really don’t find it’s appreciated as much as when it’s spread out more. I prefer to get my kids things as they need it & then a little something extra for their November birthdays & Christmas rather than drown anyone all at one time.</p>
<p>I second the goody box of useful things that cptofthehouse mentioned. I moved into my first home last December and I had accumulated the big household items but not little things. For Christmas, my Nanna made up a package of kitchen items including a timer, a measuring jug, reusable plastic containers for freezing food, a book with cleaning tips, a pastry brush. Just an assortment of inexpensive but really useful things. Loved that gift and appreciated the thought she’d put into it.</p>
<p>That’s similar to the portable desk essentials kits I gave S & his buddies when they graduated & were heading off to colleges. It had all the things I thought they’d find useful but probably wouldn’t think to buy themselves in a zippered pouch. S thought it was nuts until he started digging around in it for the things he’s usually able to get from my desk. It turned out to be the most used thing in his dorm when we moved him in. :)</p>
<p>We have always spent an obscene amount of money on our kids at Christmas for a few reasons. First, I don’t shop the rest of the year, so what they get from Christmas and birthday is pretty much it over the course of the entire year. Second, hubby and I generally don’t exchange with each other, so we’ve usually used a portion of my bonus for Christmas, and third, my husband saves his change all year for that purpose. Before we had kids, he once saved enough to buy the two of us plane tickets to Hawaii. Now it’s Christmas. Let me tell you, it adds up and we don’t feel it.</p>
<p>At the end of her senior year, DD handed me a jar with $122 in coins she saved just over one year (change left from her lunch money, allowance money, etc.) trying to exchange it for “lighter money”. I told her to take it to the bank. Since ZM’s H’s operating budget is a bit bigger, I can beieve that he had enough for those plane tickets :)</p>
<p>Actually trips to HI are really not that expensive, depending on which city you’re talking about. We able to get a R/T tickets HNL-PHL for under $500. Right now, the newpaper says tickets HNL-LAX are under $300. You are right that it sounds like quite a change jar!</p>
<p>^^I’m still trying to convince H that we need to stimulate your economy, HIMom. Right now, there are great deals from SEA to HNL (and OGG, and LIH, too!)</p>
<p>Hmmm, a Christmas gift idea? I’ll see if I can use my Marriott points to get us a discount on a hotel room.</p>
<p>Hubby & I have stopped giving each other “gifts” at holidays & for birthdays & instead just try to travel together or have some nice meals together & have some very special times guilt-free when we do, knowing that these are in lieu of more “stuff” we don’t really need. It also frees us to buy what we want & need when the price is good rather than during a particular season.</p>
<p>^^aitchemess…my Nana did the same thing for me when I first married. Somehow, mysteriously, the wooden spoon eventually got broken and none of my kids knew how that happened. I used to think of her every time I cooked with it and the replacement just isn’t the same.</p>
<p>When I found out I was pregnant with #3, I went through the toys we had and pulled out the nicest baby/toddler type toys and put them in the attic (#2 was 3 at the time, so had outgrown them). She didn’t get a “new” present until she was 3! (This is the same child who, after getting $2 from a great-aunt for her 4th birthday declared that she would use it to buy “store clothes”. We discovered she meant something that didn’t come out of a box from the attic!)</p>