Parents' Christmas decisions that make you say "hmmm"

Parent Cafe
1

<p>There really are a lot of affordable, even free, options for gifts for a 3-year-old. And buying $600 in presents for a 2-year-old was just ridiculous.</p>

<p>"<br>
(CNN) – There won’t be any brightly wrapped packages under Annette Peterson’s Christmas tree this year.</p>

<p>Annette Peterson and her husband, Jeremiah, will be cutting back on gifts for their daughter, Isabelle.</p>

<p>Peterson, a 34-year-old from French Lick, Indiana, was out of a job as of the end of last week, and there’s no extra money to buy presents.</p>

<p>“It’s really tough,” said Peterson, a hospital registration clerk who contacted CNN through iReport.com. “I feel pretty guilty this holiday season.”</p>

<p>Last year, Peterson and her husband, who works as a graphic artist, spent about $600 on gifts for their 3-year-old daughter. This year, Peterson wonders whether they’ll have enough money to pay the electric bill and buy groceries."
[Job</a> loss leads to spending guilt for holiday season - CNN.com](<a href=“http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/11/24/hm.holiday.economy.spending.guilt/index.html]Job”>Job loss leads to spending guilt for holiday season - CNN.com)</p>

2

<p>It does seem excessive. If someone wants to, well, that’s their choice, if they can swing it. But I do have trouble understanding why not being able to do so is a problem. (when our kids were that age, one big Fisher Price play set, for about 24 dollars, was a major present. Add a few books, and that was about if for us.)</p>

3

<p>These people have a bigger problem than just a downturn in the economy.</p>

4

<p>If only she had opted for $50 in presents for her child last year, she’d have saved $550, and have 11 more Christmases covered already.</p>

5

<p>Wow. Just wow. I have budgeted $250 each for my kids. They are pretty happy with that and they can choose one big present or several small ones.</p>

<p>Gosh Garland - we seem like the same parents! When my kids were small, I would buy them each ONE toy. The one thing they wanted that cost about $20. Plus they would get a book. I also would get two board games, which they would share. Sometimes, I also would get a bigger “family” present for the four of them like the year they got a Playstation II when Playstation III came out!
They were always happy on Christmas morning.</p>

6

<p>A hospital registration clerk has six hundred (!) to spend on one child? Sign me up.</p>

7

<p>While eating lunch in a local restaurant yesterday, I overheard the woman at the table behind us (who was talking very loudly) go on and on about how much stuff her two small kids were getting for Christmas. They wanted so much stuff that she had printed off long lists on the computer to hand out to relatives. She also said they would have to clean out the toy shed in the backyard to make room for all the new stuff! I saw the kids. I would guess them to be three and five years old.</p>

8

<p>My kids are a LOT older than that (20 & 22) and my husband and I are both employed and what she spent on a 2 year old for the holiday is a LOT more than what my kids get for their holiday present.</p>

<p>PS…I must admit that we don’t celebrate XMAS and are not caught up in this buying gifts frenzy that many others are immersed in, thankfully. In the article, the wife mentions the husband not being able to buy her a gift but we don’t get each other gifts at this time of year anyway. I realize that the norm for many families is to spend a lot and get all these gifts at Christmas. I always thought Christmas looked like a fun time but I will admit that I am not sad to not be part of this spending frenzy at all.</p>

9

<p>A two year old would not tell a difference between a $20 present and a $500 one. What on Earth did they spend the $600 on? Do toddler toys cost much more now than they used to 16 years ago?</p>

10

<p>We spend a lot at Christmas because that is when I tend to get things that the kids need/want during the year. I save it all for under the Christmas tree, rather than buying throughout the year and giving. For instance, my kids could really use some pajama pants, socks, underwear, gloves, hat, sweats, etc, particularly since they and we are in a cold weather area. I am holding off giving them the stuff, and will have it under the tree. Also, I have some books and stuff that I picked up all through the year that will be under the tree. I stuff neat stockings that the kids really like, and those run up to a lot of money as well. I collect the stuff all year around. </p>

<p>I’m afraid that I was guilty of extravagant Christmases and birthdays when the older ones were little. I went nuts over the toys and stuff out there. We had absolutely nothing for kids at the time we had our first, and lived far from friends and family, both of us worked, knew no one, weren’t connected with families with kids. So, yes, we overspent. </p>

<p>Kids toys can cost a lot of money. My SIL does not like plastic toys for her kids, and tends to focus on the wooden and high quality stuff. It can run into a lot. Brio, doll houses, American Girls dolls, Barbies, lego sets, computer and electronic stuff can add up to a lot.</p>

<p>One thing I have noticed here in NY that disturbs me is the prevalence of buying younger kids all the latest electronic doodads. My son is in 6th grade and many of his classmates have cell phones, expensive ones; laptops, portable dvd players, ipods, and stuff that I would consider as gifts for the older kids, not an 11 year old. Electronic games and collectibles are some things that really drive up the prices. My son wants a computer game that is $50, which is his main gift. The rest are smaller things, many from the dollar shop. </p>

<p>Bunsen, a little kid does not know the difference between the cost of gifts. At that age, their favorite toy can be the box that held the gift. It is truly an extravagance to buy expensive clothes and toys for little one. However, it is a habit that can be stopped. When you buy an expensive house, car or invest in an expensive school, and then you lose your job, it is far more painful to stop those payments, and they cannot easily be stopped abruptly. You can wake up one morning and go cold turkey in stopping the shopping for gifts and other non necessary things without being hurt so terribly. Most families with small kids can just trade toys with other families and come up with an impressive spread of gifts for Christmas. The kids are not going to know.</p>

11

<p>I’m in the same boat as cptofthehouse. When our children were younger we rarely bought them toys, etc. through the year. At Christmas we tended to be a bit too extravagent, but much of it was less expensive things like books, board games, or puzzles, or new clothes. Actually I can tell you exactly what each child has received for Christmas the past 10 years or so: A couple of books, a family board game, a movie, some pjs, a new outfit (usually jeans/sweater), warm socks, one “big” gift–ie American Girl doll or wooden train stuff when they were younger, one or two smaller gifts they requested–ie arts/crafts kits, legos, etc. It seemed like a lot, and still does, but they knew that we wouldn’t be buying them a bunch of stuff throughout the year. </p>

<p>This year both will receive an itunes card, some books, D will receive some electronic thing she can take to college next year, DS will receive a video game probably. Both will receive pjs again. It’s a tradition for us.</p>

12

<p>I was definitely guilty of extravagance when my kids were younger. The last few years I have set a budget and stuck to it. This year the budget will be low.</p>

<p>A funny Christmas present story. A couple of years ago my son was visiting and was just wearing his jeans which tend to hang low (skinny and has no butt). I made some comment about his jeans hanging low and his sister asked if he was even wearing underwear. Well he wasn’t - he and his girlfriend had not done laundry in so long that he was out of underwear so just wasn’t wearing any. One of his Christmas presents was a box with individually wrapped packages marked Monday through Sunday. Monday through Saturday each contained boxers and Sunday was a pair of lounge pants (Monty Python) and a box of detergent. We all got a good laugh out of it.</p>

13

<p>some of the toddler toys I bought were indeed expensive.
Wooden painted toys from Scandinavia. When oldest was born I even bought an expensive wooden music box even before she came home from the hospital- I had it playing in the background when I recorded stories for her to listen to.</p>

<p>However- I do remember one year, when we were living on what we could make from babysitting and hauling, the inlaws gave D a teddy ruxpin doll that was over $100.
She didn’t ask for it- but that was what they were giving her cousin ( who was 5 years younger), and I admit they might have thought they were being fair.
I took it back and used the money for groceries.</p>

<p>Usually however- when inlaws gave cheap ( in terms of use- not of cost) presents, they would " help" her open them, then smash the boxes immediately.
Which was one of the motivators to spend xmas 7 hours away for 20 years</p>

14

<p>A great Christmas gift for college kids or any kids living away from home and on a budget is a goody box to bring back with all sorts of useful things in there. I had a great time doing that for a cousin some years ago, and also did the same to friends who bought their first house. Even if you spend a lot of money, if you direct it to things that are needed, I don’t think it is an extravagance. I think things like a fire extinguisher, first aid kit, house cleaning materials, etc are important. That they can be boxed and put under the tree for Christmas to make it look like a big spread is just fine. </p>

<p>For little kids, paper and origami toys with dollar shop things are great. My niece loves her bookcase “dollhouse” that she has here at our house, better than her expensive real doll house at home. My boys have used wood scraps, cardboard, paper and odds and ends to make a huge doll house out of an old book case. I haven’t spent a dime on it as everything is just scrounged from our household, and real doll house stuff would look out of place in that hodge podge. Better to save the money for her real doll house at home where everything is to scale and is hopefully going to be an heirloom piece. Her brother likes using an old wooden trunk I picked up for a couple of bucks at a garage sale as a treasure chest, and we have all sorts of junk in there, again for little or no money. We make a cardboard Christmas tree that we decorate with homemade ornaments and the little ones (niece, nephew, cousins) seem to enjoy that a lot more than our real tree. It’s all just paper and cheap.</p>

15

<p>When my kids were that age, many of their presents came from garage sales and they liked them just fine.</p>

16

<p>Emerald Kitty–my D got that Teddy Ruxpin from the Grand Parents as well. She ran out of the room SCREAMING and we had to promise that Teddy would go away. He did—straight to the Salvation Army. That same Christmas her dad made her big present ,“a princess castle” out of a refridgerator box. Best present ever.</p>

17

<p>Onward, that is the route we began to take. My brother does a lot of that and has gotten some great finds. He got a Thomas Tank Engine table from a curbside. He bought a huge box of Barbies and paraphenalia for very, very little and rooted through the stuff to make it a great present. </p>

<p>For that matter, I give garage sale stuff as gifts too. My son got a beautiful leather chair that a neighbor gave me. I cleaned it up and repaired it and bought a throw for it, and it’s his. My other son has a beautiful old desk that I polished and replaced hardware. I got it from my MIL’s attic. I have given H gifts that were giveaways, discards,used finds as well. I don’ t see a problem with that.</p>

18

<p>A couple things…</p>

<p>I should clarify that my kids were not deprived in the least. They have really nice stuff and have gotten really nice gifts! I don’t recall spending $600 on a single child for a birthday or holiday gift though, particuarly at age 2! </p>

<p>But hey, one of my kids had all the American Girls stuff too. It just wasn’t $600 worth on one occasion. And they got gifts from their grandparents as well.</p>

<p>A lot of times my kids got something signficant that they needed and it has to be their birthday or Hanukah gift. This may be their ski boots or their ski pass if they are in that sport. The items cost a lot and so it has to be their gift. In fact, this year a ski pass is D1’s gift. </p>

<p>Another thing that some brought up is likely part of it…and that is that some people I surmise use Christmas to get their kids (or someone else) like everything they are gonna buy them all year and do it all at one time. We don’t celebrate XMas. My kids get clothes all year (they have a clothing budget in fact). They get a gift for their birthday and a gift for Hanukah and many times these gifts are not surprises but if there is something of significance that they want or need, it becomes either the birhtday present or the Hanukah present and we have a set figure for those occasions and it is nowhere near what was spent on that 2 year old. D2’s past birthday, she got a recording device for recording her own songs that she can then transfer to her computer or Ipod. This is related to her studies and her work/career. It is not that cheap and the only way for us to get it is to call it her birthday present. So, they get two signficant gifts per year. Otherwise, they get things like clothes, books for school, etc. throughout the year. </p>

<p>At this time of year, we are not shopping like everyone else. We are not getting gifts for anyone. Our kids each get a gift that we agree upon with them. </p>

<p>My kids ain’t hurtin’ for stuff but we don’t do this big holiday gift giving extravaganza and I’m not too sorry as it sounds quite costly to have to buy gifts for a lot of people. I suppose if I gave my kids all the clothing they get during the year, well, then, I’d be spending a lot at one time too. But I don’t buy them other stuff. When they were kids, I am sure we got stuff throughout the year. Not really now at their ages though.</p>

19

<p>Our kids do not get much at all from extended family. The grandmothers tend to give money (not a lot) or small gifts. So any big gifts or any “wants” and needs came from H and me. One nice thing about grouping things at Christmas or birthday, is that we could see what we were getting each kid. When you buy and give throughout the year, it’s easier to lose track. Though I am more of the school where I give as needed and by individual rather than overworrying about internal equity, I do keep an eye on the boxes for each kid so that there is a balance of sorts.</p>

20

<p>I was definitely guilty of spending that much money for Christmas gifts/toys when my D was 2. I did not think it was abnormal until my co-worker asked me who did I buy all these toys for. My daughter had a blast ripping the wrapping papers. Till this day, Christmas is still her favorite holiday. I have never repeat this buying behavior. Hey, she was my first child and I’ve learned my lesson since then.</p>