<p>On another thread the OP mentioned not wanting her kid to work and other posters answered “I made the decision for DS/DD to not work”</p>
<p>My question is, how has this worked out for you? Also, did your kids work throughout hs? These aren’t meant to come off as attacks I am genuinely curious BC I know I worked my entire first year, even 2 jobs at one point, and that’s how I support myself financially, if your kid doesn’t work how often do they ask for money? </p>
<p>It works out fine. One of my kids worked a paying job, the other was involved in a volunteer activity. Both have worked over the summer / breaks in college. They don’t “ask for money” since they get an allowance as we wanted them to have spending money. Obviously that differs family to family. </p>
<p>H and I worked during high school and college. Our two oldest kids worked during high school (we made them to save for college). Next two kids were taking a lot of AP classes and went to a more competitive high school. They didn’t have time to work, and they didn’t want to, either. I thought it better for them to concentrate on their grades and school activities. They could earn more in scholarships than they could save at menial jobs. It worked out for them. They have full rides and don’t need to work. I gladly pay for their books/travel expenses, etc. They have earned a little money in the summers, which they would use if they wanted something “extra,” so they don’t ask for $. If they asked for something reasonable, I would probably pay for it because I am grateful they earned the scholarships. I wonder if there are any kids out there who really WANT to work–who just “secretly” go out and get a job–against their parents’ wishes? 
Since they are not working during the school year, I expect good grades. And they should appreciate that they don’t HAVE to work during college, as H and I did, and a lot of their classmates do. </p>
<p>My kids want to work. They grew up with intense national level ECs, and that has translated into a kind of “professionalism” about them, though neither has ever maxed themselves out from an intellectual “student” level, in my opinion.</p>
<p>Oldest kept a job all through college which led to her current career. It turned out really well for her. Youngest just finished her first year in college (same, usual 3.7 gpa she always gets. never changes ever) , and we had to talk her into college, at all, though she’s super bright. But work? Can’t keep her out of it. She had a job before she’d attended her first class. Go figure.</p>
<p>Oh, and we are full pay. There’s no economic incentive for this, at all.</p>
<p>But, you know? If I felt like either of my kids were really working hard academically? To their fullest potential? I’d completely ask them not to work outside school. Heck, I wish they would, but I don’t see it.</p>
<p>We hadn’t thought about this before our daughters left for college, but serendipitously they both fell into jobs in their departments within the first week on campus. Both continued in their departments all four years in positions of increasing responsibility and sophisticated skills. d2 was able to make contacts from that job to the absolute pinnacle of her field internationally. But it wasn’t planned, just fate looking out for kids with idiot parents. However, I have a son bringing up the rear and I am confident that he couldn’t juggle both, so he will not work at least the first year. I think it depends on the kid, the finances and the field. Some fields really benefit from employment on the resume during college years.</p>
<p>Our kids didn’t work in high school. Once they were in college, I “made the decision” they had to work 10 hours a week while in school. They had an allowance in high school. They continued to have an allowance as long as they worked. I didn’t want them to work for the money, but for the experience. I was concerned they wouldn’t be able to get a good internship without prior work experience.</p>
<p>My oldest started working in high school - summer job programming and he kept it up during the school year. I’m sure the experience helped him not only get into college, but get prestigious (and well paid) internships later. Younger son was more of a slacker. He barely kept his head above water freshman year with some very demanding courses. We discovered he had a job senior year when he started depositing pay checks in the joint bank account. That job came out of his (on campus) summer job - and is probably why he was chosen out of all of last year’s supervisors to be lead supervisor this year. He was on the Dean’s List, so working clearly didn’t hurt him once the academics were under control.</p>
<p>I worked about 10 hours a week starting sophomore year in college. I didn’t ask my parents, I just liked having an independent source of money. (Though I was never much of a big spender.)</p>
<p>My kids work in the summers to make money for books & spending money during the year. They never ask/asked for money for those things during college. One of my kids had work study last year she did not use because her course load was overwhelming (tough STEM school). It worked out okay, she had savings going into college, and got a paid research position on campus this summer where she will make enough to cover next year’s books & spending money. I will say it was her decision not to look for a work study job (and a wise one given her final GPA, I think). Older kid didn’t work freshman year, did work in the writing center soph & senior year (abroad junior year).</p>
<p>One will work, one will not. The first one works in high school, 10-12 hours a week, and it seems to keep her a little more organized. The other just doesn’t have the time because she has athletics. She also has no time to spend money, so shouldn’t need much.</p>
<p>My kids had worked enough over the summer that they didn’t need to work during the year. The oldest was too busy, and scoffed at working a low paid job during school when he was making 10K/summer, at least. My youngest has a very part time job during the school year, that he does occasionally because he really enjoys it…and he does like a little extra money.</p>
<p>It’s a family decision and depends on family finances. My kids have worked since they were eight years old (acting/modelling). Their choice - usually. When they were underage, we occasionally said no to jobs if they interfered with school or family time. Once they turned 18, those decisions were theirs. They can work as much as they want, but have to keep their grades up. So, it turns out that they both occasionally worked (a day here or there) during the school year, but pretty much worked full-time in the summers. </p>
<p>Everyones situation is different. My oldest did not play sports in HS his jr and sr year, he is a smart kid who cruised through classes (even AP classes) so he could work after school and did work during the summer. My youngest who is going into 9th grade will probably not have time to work during the school year, except maybe babysitting on weekends or working an occasional catering job as a watress. She is required to play sports 2 seasons a year after school and also plays AAU and club basketball all year. Coupled with her rigorous academics, (and the fact that she is not as inherently smart as older brother) there will be no time for an afterschool job. She will probably work at summer camp for 4 weeks when she turns 16. At college, my S used his summer earnings and WS money to pay for any non school related expenses. </p>
<p>My kids made the decision to work in high school. They were busy with schoolwork and ECs, but liked the idea of having their own money, so they were willing to make the time. They had a modest allowance (but it didn’t keep them in the manner to which they wanted to become accustomed). </p>
<p>I wouldn’t have decided that they had to get jobs in high school, though I’m glad they decided to work. I think there are excellent reasons for parents to discourage their kids from having jobs in high school - putting schoolwork first, family needs, demanding ECs, the kids’ own temperaments, each family’s own situation. My kids learned a great deal from their entry-level minimum wage jobs, but there are other valid ways to learn the same things. Mileage varies.</p>
<p>Funny…we really didn’t want either of our kids to work JUST the first term in college. Both had summer savings for their spending money. We wanted them to settle into college, and figure out what that meant before getting a job.</p>
<p>Both kids found really good jobs that first term. Reality check!! They were in their college towns, were over 18 years old, and they made the decision to work themselves.</p>
<p>We DID expect them to work about 10 hours a week after that first term. </p>
<p>I’m not sure how this would be a “family decision” not to work when the reality is the college kid could get a job in their college town…and really, the parents wouldn’t necessarily know…until tax time (and then only if the parents helped the kids file their taxes).</p>
<p>^ I had a “secret” job during my senior year in college. Not that my parents really cared but I didn’t want to tell them that I had blown through all of my summer earnings once I turned 21! That’s what happens when there is a bar in the student union. I think I told them eventually…It was a great job as a receptionist in a real estate firm. </p>
<p>I feel that I made a lot of mistakes in raising my kids, but encouraging them to have jobs was not one of them. For my kids, it was the right thing to do. It is not universally so, but I do think that most of the time it is. </p>
<p>For some of my kids, it was an easy, easy thing. My oldest had job offers before he was old enough to work. He was a national athlete and so parents were clamouring to have him give private lessons in his sport. That he was also an excellent teacher and worked well with kids, and enjoyed doing so, made the transition natural and pleasurable. That was really a perfect situation, IMO, and I really had little to d with that.</p>
<p>My one son just had no get up and go to do much of anything that was not required of him. He’s asocial, with some attributes one often sees in Asperger spectrum lists. He always had to have things laid right out in front of him–would do well in such cases, but going out to seek something was just not something he would do. And he did not have the outstanding skills that his brothers did so that job offers just came to him. So, it was an arduous process getting him, and then some of my other kids to go seek jobs, as some of mine are painfully shy and hate asking others (other than me) for anything. So the very act of looking for a job was something I had to show them, and that was important, IMO, in our case, more than the actual money they earned from their jobs. The jobs they got, also opened up possibilities for work and earning money in the future. Bussing tables, clean up, working in those environments were all new experiences to my admittedly spoiled kids. They learned how to use an industrial mop,how to efficiently sweep a floor and other things by being patterned to do so in a way that I could not teach them. </p>
<p>Some of our kids are not going to get the type of jobs that we may hope they get–especially early on, and it’s not a given that one can get what are often classified as “menial” jobs. The years my kids spent doing such work, and gaining proficiency at them, put them in the forefront for such positions. </p>
<p>We also had some family financial downturns that limited what we should be spending for college, and spending in general, so it the money that my kids did earn and continued to earn in part time jobs, widened their college choices as we could not pay for a $60K+ a year college for them, and their savings and jobs increased what schools they could choose as well as their life styles while in school. It also kept them loan free. </p>
<p>As for my one who really had trouble looking for work, and had a rough start in the job world, he did “get it”. When he went off to college, and heard of some job opportunities, his antennas quivered, he checked them out, knew how to seek the jobs and apply for them, and got them. He was doing ever so well in that area even while in college and never asked us for any extra money. He had it covered and a healthy bank account upon graduation. THough looking for different kinds of jobs upon graduation, he had some experience in job searches and was able to build on that. In his case, his STEM major was probably the most instrumental in the job choices he had, but it was really a painless transition for him to go into job search mode, as he had done this many times before. He also was intrepid in finding part time, temporary work while doing some things he wanted to do before settling into a full time job, and it gave him the financial flexibility to do so. </p>
<p>I do know kids who do NOT work outside jobs while in high school, and for good reason. Sadly, there are also many kids not working because there are no jobs to be had, and/or they are needed at home to help out with family needs. So this is not a de rigueur thing But, yes, it can be very useful for the student in many ways later in life.</p>
<p>My son worked during the breaks and in the summers. He used some of his money to help pay for study abroad. He didn’t work on campus during the first three years. In his last year, a teammate helped him get a good campus job that ultimately led to his securing the position he now has. </p>
<p>First, forget about kids supporting themselves financially while in school. Simply not possible. However, when D. has asked, I told her that working is one of the top priorities in her life. Definitely was very benefitial. She worked couple summers while in HS and for 3 years (during school year) while at college. This was just a pocket money, but they are still there for her 3 years later (currently Med. Student). The benefits were trmendous, she had the best job on campus as a Supplemental Instructor for Chem. prof. Inproved her communication skills and was told many times that she was instrumental in bring up the average grade in this class, was awarded medal for it at graduation. Did not have to prep. Chem. portion of MCAT and her very strong Chem. background served her well in Med. School. She had a great job that paid a little over $7 / hr., and some of this little money are still there in her 4th year of Med. School. She did not require much support thru UG anyway, she was on full tuition Merit award, we paid only her living expenses and paying her tuition and living expenses currently. She should be financially independent in one year when she will start her residency.<br>
Nope, no healthy bank account now, but was enough for some pocket money here and there and great experience overall.</p>
<p>This is probably my own bizarre hang-up, but I still feel weird about having my full-pay kids take paying jobs on campus / close to campus during the school year that for them, serve as pin money when the job market is tight and they have classmates for whom those jobs mean the difference between staying in school and not. So great, they get their fun money and some other kid that they beat out for the job scooping ice cream has to drop out of school. That doesn’t make me feel good.</p>
<p>Summer jobs or paid jobs relating to their area of study feel different for me. But for the typical scooping-ice-cream jobs? There’s something that bothers me about the concept of taking that $9/hour or whatever from a kid who really needs it. BTJM.</p>
<p>When I was at Wellesley, all of the on-campus jobs such as working in the Music Library and so on were reserved for kids on FA. (I guess they were work-study.) Other jobs were few and far between. I knew someone who worked in the cheese shop in town. I got a few baby sitting jobs through the college at some point. I was full pay, but didn’t get an allowance, and could have used a job shelving books in the library or whatever. So I appreciate your D leaving the few jobs around for those who actually need them! :)</p>