<p>My parents are divorced, and by a court decision my mom pays 1/3, my dad 1/3, and I pay 1/3 of my tuition/fees/university bill. I pay with Stafford loans and a trust fund from my late grandfather.</p>
<p>This past summer I went to the Accounts Receivable office and they told me what my bill would be for the summer–I relayed stated information to my parents. My mom sent in her 1/3, my dad sent in his 1/3, a loan covered my 1/3. We each paid approximately $980.</p>
<p>The thing is, my loan was for $1700, therefore I received a refund of approx $720. My dad is convinced that the $720 needs to be split between the three of us, that because I received a refund that the original bill was obviously wrong and he shouldn’t have had to pay $980 when I got a refund of $720. But he refuses to understand that I DID pay my $980 through the loan.</p>
<p>He states that he will not pay a dime towards my tuition for the coming year (payment due Aug 20 for fall semester) unless he receives his share of the refund. I cannot afford to foot 2/3 of this bill and Stafford loans are the only fin aid I am eligible for.</p>
<p>Am I completely wrong? Is he completely wrong? Any advice on how to convince him/show him that he is wrong, if the case may be?</p>
<p>Since that amount is from a loan which YOU, not your father, will have to pay back, it doesn’t seem like he would be entitled to any of it. Have you explained that to him? You will need the money for books, personal expenses, etc. so it is not like it is just going to sit in your bank account.</p>
<p>You may need to calmly show your dad the paperwork so that he understands that the refund is from an overpayment due to the loan that you had taken out. It wasn’t a refund due to an overpayment by him or your mom. You also may need to have the school put in writing where the refund came from.</p>
<p>“You also may need to have the school put in writing where the refund came from.”
Yes it’s always good to have a neutral voice with no ax to grind. Perhaps a phone call to the finaid office can generate a fax or email to you today, so you can present the college’s official word on this to start your talk with Dad.</p>
<p>Once this one is resolved, and some time after it, I’d suggest that you talk with your Dad, or possibly Mom and Dad (but I suspect they fight a lot still).<br>
Tell them that you’d like, as much as possible, for things to go smoothly in the coming years as college bills appear. Ask for that support. </p>
<p>I write this because over the years I’ve seen many students caused great stress at registration time because divorced parents bicker at that moment over money. Sometimes they use it to control or express anger at a mate. Often there are two sides of a story. REGARDLESS, it is hard to be on campus and find that bills aren’t in on time. It can cause (for example) a hold on your registration so you don’t get into the courses you wish; by the time it’s straightened out, what you wanted to study is all full. Perhaps if they can see there are ramifications for YOU when they do this, it’ll help them stop a money-fight over each college bill, for “your sake.”</p>
<p>My S-I-L was always on a thread each semester, wondering if the dad’s check had come in and if she’d even be a student for the following semester. It made it hard for her to do December exams, worrying and calling over it to home. </p>
<p>As a mature young man, perhaps you can find a way to ask them to let these old battles die. They’ll always be angry at each other, but should stop using you and money over you as the superficial topic of the argument.</p>
<p>Good luck. You’ll meet others in college who share these dilemmas; you’re not alone. If you can’t resolve it (some parents are that stubborn), you’ll have to expect it and you will survive. Someday when you’re earning your own salary, you’ll know not to do stuff like this to your kids.</p>
<p>One way to deal with the refund is simply to give it back - that is, have the financial aid office pay back your loan that amount. Unless you need that money to live on or pay for books and other expenses. Since it is a loan that you have taken out in your name, you will eventually have to pay it back - with interest. If you don’t need it now, you might as well reduce your future debt. That way there is no refund for your dad to be confused about.</p>
<p>^^ooh, interesting idea. If that were me and I decided to do it that way, I’d tell my Dad, “I had to give it back,” realizing my choice of words was very careful. I wouldn’t add that, in fact, Dad was the one who created the climate in which I felt I “had” to give it back. </p>
<p>It’s hard to imagine a kid returning money but it’s true you’d just have that much less to repay upon graduation!</p>
<p>If worse comes to worse, your father is legally bound to pay 1/3 of your tuition under his child support. If he doesn’t pay, the courts can force him.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone…I sent him an e-mail (I’m already on campus, been here all summer) that basically said the refund/loan was essentially me taking out a $980 loan for tuition and then another $720 loan for myself. </p>
<p>Which is basically what it breaks down to. I’ve always been pretty good w/ my own money and for about the last year have gone w/o my parents providing money for food, games, etc. My money I’ve been earning from my summer job has paid for nothing but food, gas, and a weekend trip to St Louis. No clothes, iTunes things, DVDs, nothing. The extra refund I received went towards buying stuff for my new apartment (pots, pans, laundry soap, dishes, groceries, etc) since I was here for over a month before my roommates. I buy my own textbooks. </p>
<p>We’ll see how it goes I guess…I do plan to stop by the Fin Aid office tomorrow, great idea :)</p>
<p>If your refund is part of the COA which is to be paid directly by you rather than through a school account, then that is normal. Many schools EFT deposit monies above and beyond tuition to the student to pay for housing and books, etc. If it is a loan which YOU will repay someday, then YOU are responsible for it all.</p>
<p>Perhaps your dad simply does not realise that is how it is done. Divorced people tend to be on the lookout for potentially being “screwed” so simply showing him, see Dad, here is the bill for rent, your $ applied to my tuition and I applied the remained to rent or books, etc., may go a long way to helping him understand how it all works and cause him to feel less defensive.</p>