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<p>Based on the OP’s initial list of schools, the OP is in California, where some of the state universities are among the top universities in the nation for engineering. “Winding up at a state university” (especially since the OP’s initial list includes the better ones) would not necessarily be a bad thing.</p>
<p>The main thing that the OP needs to talk to the parents about (if they will pay attention to the OP instead of the brother who wants to go to the USMC) is cost and financial aid, because even state universities may be unaffordable if the family has a high EFC for financial aid purposes but can really only afford (or is only willing to pay) much less. Of course, if the OP gets into Berkeley with the full-ride Drake Scholarship, that would eliminate this problem, but there is no guarantee of admission or scholarship.</p>