As title states… I’m currently planning to major in Building Engineering (not really) at my university but I really don’t like it. I I think I can probably make it into the program but with very below average grades and I know that the engineering world is really competitive and only take in the best. I’ve been thinking for the past year of going into a trade school for automotive but then I asked around on the internet and found that if I didn’t have much passion for cars then I shouldn’t go into it, Then I was kinda confused but I really wanted to fix engines and stuff because I really liked the idea of fixing things and would get great satisfaction out of it. I really think that it was really cool fixing something with your skills and then letting it out into the world. After doing a bit of research I found out that I could I go either into Diesel mechanic or Heavy Duty equipment mechanic which are seem really interesting to me. I looked for some schools in my area (Quebec, Montreal) but unfortunately there are no English program for this field, only in french.My french is like a 6/10 because I went to english school all my life and I knew I had to hustle hard to do this. I was about to settle to go to the french school for heavy equipment mechanic but after some thinking, I told myself that if I went into this field, I wanted to be best as possible so I did some more research and found out that the closest english trade school for this career was in Ontario in city called Peterborough that is 4 hour away from home. The college is called Flemming College. I looked into it and it looks really great, 1 semester of learning following a co-op semester than 1 more semester. It looked good to me and I started getting really excited ( first time getting excited to go to school).
I know my parents would not approve of this though… to be more specific, my dad. Both my mom and dad were both scholars and both graduated from a really good university called McGill and they expect the same from me and my sister. Unfortunately we didn’t meet their expectations. I entered university a year later than most students my age because I didnt do to well in this school thing called Cegep ( basically like pre-university, only Quebec does this). After I finished that I still didn’t know what to do but my dad asked what am I going to do and I knew that if I said ’ I don’t know’ he will lose it so I just said engineering to please him. So to do this I had to to do my prereqs in university before going into the program and im currenly finishing them up right now and at the same time doing some engineering courses. I’m currently in my second year, 3rd semester. Last semester I told him I dropped one of my prereq course cause I coouldnt handle the load he got pretty mad. Anyways my point I think my dad is a dick and I think so because he always vents out his anger on me and my sister cause we didnt meet his expections. A few times couple months ago, he asked me Are you shame of yourself that you are two years behind your friends and that theyre graduating soon. And that was just a big what the eff moment for me. Just moments ago as i’m typing this he asked me when will I apply for my engineering program and how long will it take and stuff. And I said I’m applying next semester and he got mad and said why not now and how long will it take you to complete your degree and I replied that depends how much courses I take per semester and stuff and he said finish it quick… I can’t tell him I can’t , cause he will lose it and he almost did when I said next semester… There are more things I want to say but im kinda lost in my thoughts right now…
Anyways I know I went off track there but my dad basically handles my school finances cause my mom retired to stay home. I don’t think my dad will support me and financially and if he doesn’t , I’m planning on going into student loans And if they don’t let me I still want to go to the college which willl result me in leaving home no matter what. So kind of like running away but not really? And i’m really anxious to do this cause it sucks that i’m leaving my family like this. And I feel bad for my sister cause she has to deal with our dad. A bit off topic but my sister wanted to go into social worker with kids but my dad didnt approve and lost his temper. I know my dad is probably doing it to protect us or whatever but holy cow… he has a very short temper and pisses everyone off in the house including my mom. Every time I think about this I get really sad and I dont know what I should do. I’m also really scared to do this cause I will be very assertive about this and I think he might beat me and I might have to defend myself.
When I was sure I wanted to do this, I decided that I also need to change lifestyle. I’m currently trying to wake up early and chores around the house, cleaning my room, taking down all my posters (except for two cause theyre signed) and stuff. Also trying to work harder in my studies and plan on working my ass off during the summer to save money for school.