Parents: Not A Bit Of Help

Paying for College
1

Okay. So, to start… I know this is not an uncommon problem. Parents not willing/able to contribute to their child’s extended education. I’m posting because I really do not know what to do at this point. I’m at the end, and well, am almost to the point of giving up.

Let me start off by giving you a little run down. I am 21. I work. FULL TIME. 40+ hours a week. I earn a good $400 a week. And work 5 days a week. I live in lovely Colorado, with my boyfriend whom I love dearly. My parents reside in Florida. I am completely on my own. I pay rent. Bills. Buy groceries. Pay my car. All on my own. I get not one thing financially from my parents to contribute to my living. I am completely independent. But in the eyes of the government, I AM NOT. Which is FULLY FRUSTRATING.

Since I was 13, my dream has been to become a hair stylist. Cosmetology is my full on passion, and I have even had 2 years of professional training at a salon. However…can’t get your license if you DON’T ATTEND A SCHOOL. X( I told my parents this. They laughed. In my face. “Hair styling isn’t a career. It takes no talent! If that’s what you want to do, you’re not getting a cent from us.” Okay. So I dropped it.

High school graduation comes around. Parents ask “So what are your college plans? We have a college fund…So what are your plans?” I look them dead in the eye…knowing they won’t like my answer. And I tell them…well…I still want to be a hair stylist. The next day, dad comes home with a new boat…and my college fund is BYE BYE.

This was 4 years ago. I’ve been on my own for quite a while. I’m looking into college again, and I have an appointment tomorrow at the Salon Professional Academy. 21. Hair styling is STILL what I want to do. I have no credit history. I earn my own income. I start filling out the FAFSA and come to find…well…THEY COUNT MY PARENTS’ INCOME. WOO. My parents, are still married. They make about 130k+ a year. So you can guess what came back for my need base aid. NADA. ZIP.

So then my thought is…well…student loans…but here’s where they getcha’. You need a COSIGNER. Of course, I call my mom. Try to talk to her and just see if she’ll sign, because I have the full ability to pay the loans myself. Her response? “I’m not signing any kind of loan if you’re going to Cosmetology school. Why don’t you go after a REAL CAREER and then we’ll talk.” Well then.

I’m sorry for the long long post but I am just completely stumped on how to get out of this FA hell hole! My family refuses to help…simply because they don’t believe in my choice of career. My passion of EIGHT YEARS. It has not changed. It will not change, I’m so good at what I do. And I love doing it. It frustrates me. It angers my boyfriend. Because all I want to do is make it happen, and now…I’m just so lost. What do you do in a situation like this? Any advice welcome. Thank you <3

2

There’s got to be some way you could be emancipated from your parents and be legally considered independent. I mean, you’re well over 18. I’m not sure of the legal process, but maybe someone else with more insight could advise?

3

Oh believe me, it’s been a thought. I tried to talk my parents into just doing a straight forward, both parties agree, emancipation. And I kid you not. My dad’s reply was “No, because then I’d have to pay more taxes.” But I am looking into it.

4

For pete’s sake. What does he plan to do, keep you under his control until you’re 80? There’s got to be some way to force it since you’re over 18. Do you know any lawyers or anybody with legal knowledge you could ask? Or maybe just google?

5

According to FAFSA, until age of 23-24 not 80, but it is still unfortunate. More importantly, I am not sure that he can claim you as a dependent legally unless he is actually supporting you so it should not affect his taxes in any way.

I agree with @albert69, go consult an attorney about getting legally emancipated in Colorado, where you are a resident. There might be a way to do it besides waiting until 2017-2018.

6

I can try to get emancipation, and I have been researching it, but every where I am looking is saying that you have to be emancipated as a minor. This is all so frustrating!

7

I would not take out big loans for training for a career that doesn’t pay that well for most.( I was a hairstylist in the Seattle area when I was your age)
Average salary is less than $30,000
http://www.cosmetology-license.com/colorado/colorado-salary/
Community college might be more affordable for training.
http://www.cncc.edu/cosmetology/

I also have to say that I agree with your parents.
Actual college courses will help your work and they will expand your ability to stay employed.
I do not know why, but my mother paid for me to attend beauty school, but she didn’t encourage me to attend college.
I developed health problems associated with the work, but because I do not have a degree, my subsequent jobs have been very limited. I’ve also tried to finish, schoo but writing papers gets much more difficult as you get older.
Don’t limit your options too soon.

8

Yes, it is too late to be emancipated, that only happens for minors when there is a documented abuse type situation.
They don’t get emancipated just because parents don’t want to pay for college or vocational school.

Sorry, but that is just how federal aid works. They don’t leave wiggle room for all the parents to declare that they won’t pay because everyone would say that if it meant free money. Until you are 24 your parental income has to be used for fafsa. No matter what we think about it, this is how it is, even for self supporting adults. This happens to many students so this has been discussed and the aid forum is well aware you didn’t need to explain it, we already know.

Cosmetology school doesn’t give aid usually anyway. You can get a student loan by filing the fafsa. If your parents won’t fill it out you can ask the school for help, there is an override if parents won’t fill it out and you can get freshman 5,500 sophomore 6,500 jr 7,500 sr 7,500.

Your father can’t claim you as a dependent on his taxes at your age if he isn’t supporting you. I don’t know where that was coming from.

9

Some hair stylists don’t make much, and there are some who make a ton. That’s the thing. I knew the salary averages. The point is, is it is what makes me happy. It’s what I’ve wanted to do a long time and I don’t see it changing. No profession has ever sparked my interest as much as this does, and believe me, if I have to wait until 24, I will. Just much rather not. And I don’t know where he got it either. I filed my own taxes last year and he called me screaming because he couldn’t claim me. And I do work. I work hard. I’m in a commission only job and I manage to pull decent checks. And I haven’t been unemployed a day in my life since 18. So I do believe I can stay employed and the tuition of this school is 17k all supplies paid plus job placement. But I also have to comment, there are many people who take these “true college classes” and get “true degrees” and never use them. All degrees and careers are a gamble, but all that matters is it is something you’re truly passionate about

10

You can become independent by getting married or joining the military. Kind of sexist. And if you’re in the military you won’t need to borrow money but they won’t be sending you to cosmetology school. :slight_smile:

Most cosmetology schools are “for profit” and charge exploitative fees. You should try a community college or high school tech center and borrow as little as possible. It won’t seem as fabulous but they will teach you what you need to pass the state exam. Take before/after pictures of your work and build a portfolio. If you get on with a good salon they will train you and send you to some weekend classes. I have a long time friend who owned many salons and this is his advice. He made more money developing salons, equipping them and building a clientele and then selling them. He took college courses in business management. He now has health problems that make standing for long periods difficult. It can be a physically demanding job at times, believe it or not.

11

For your own benefit, start with a financial analysis of your chosen career. Study as many resources as you can to determine how much money you are actually likely to make. Familiarize yourself with the employment arrangements at a a salon (you have to rent your chair and supply all of your own tools at you own expense). Get ahold of one of those agreements and read it. Health insurance? Dental? Vacation? Sick days? Maternity leave? What does it take to get into the best salon and could you accomplish that, or will you end of working at an inexpensive hair cutting place in a strip mall? How long do hairstylists usually stay at one salon? With the same investment of time and money, what else could you train yourself to do? It concerns me that this industry is very stacked against the stylist because there are so many of them - employers can pick and choose, force crap deals on you and you have to take them or you don’t work. Just don’t make a blind decision.

If you wanted to go the route of starting your own salon or your own business maybe that could be different story. But you would need experience first and some sort of business degree or equivalent business knowledge. If you put yourself exclusively at the mercy of big chain salons I’m concerned you will not have a good experience. It’s a revolving door - they chew up stylists and spit them out.

12

A romantic approach, but not realistic at all. If you’re out of work or not making enough to save a penny, all the passion in the world won’t help. And as talented as you might believe you are, there’s no guarantee you’ll be one of the financially successful hair stylists. Most aren’t.

I have to say I wouldn’t pay for my kid to attend cosmetology school either given the iffy chances at good pay, working one one’s feet all day, exposure to terrible chemicals, and all the other drawbacks cited in the above posts.

BTW, you should be able to start building a credit history if you have steady employment. Get a credit card with a couple of hundred dollar credit line, use it, pay it back regularly, and you can go from there.

13

You can wait until you are 24, but it might not get you very far. If your parents would file the FAFSA for you now, you would qualify for $5500 in federal Stafford loans your first year, and up to $3500 of those might be subsidized (no interest accruing until after you graduate, but maybe not with that income). If they won’t file, you can work with your school to get that same loan but it would all be unsubsidized and interest would start accruing immediately. Same place with or without parents.

If you wait until you are 24, you won’t need your parents’ info for FAFSA, but you will get the $5500, and again the $3500 of it may be subsidized. You would also qualify for an additional $4000 unsubsidized, so $9500 total. It is still not going to get you to $17000 and it will still not get you private loans without a co-signer.

Go to a community college and get your certifications, then start working and work your way through the designer schools. By the time you are 24, if you don’t like the types of salons you have been working in, go to the designer ones. You’ll have 3 years of experience under your belt. I used to get my hair cut at a Aveda school, and there were some very inexperienced students there, and some that just knew a lot more because they’d had experience at Great clips or Fantastic Sam’s and weren’t afraid of the scissors.

14

It’s romantic to say that becoming a stylist is your passion. But look at the really successful, bold faced names- they know marketing, they understand finance, they hire top people to manage their social media and PR, they can walk into a bank with confidence to arrange for a business loan to expand their business. They know psychology (how else can someone like Sally Hershberger charge $800 to make someone’s hair look like they slept in it and couldn’t find a comb!) They can talk with their clients about fine art and opera and politics and whatever it is that people who pay $800 for a haircut want to talk about.

You have to stop looking at your life in binary terms- i.e. you either become a stylist or you don’t. Your parents are doing you a favor- you can become a stylist AND have a college degree. Study psychology, marketing, accounting, art history, music theory… learn about life. If your parents will pay for you to get a BA then go do that, preferably without loans (if they can finance you). You can plan your stylist career for when you can pay for it without their information.

It appears that the only way to achieve some measure of financial security in the salon industry is to be an owner. And you will be a much more successful owner if you take the time to get a college education. And if you don’t want to be an owner? You need a back-up plan for slow times (I am told that cash flow stinks in January/February for example… even if you’ve got your own clientele). Without a degree you can’t become a substitute teacher or do any of the other “fill in” careers that people in the creative professions do to “tide them over”.

You sound ambitious and energetic which is great!!! But if you stopped fighting your parents you might hear the wisdom in their argument…

15

Do this:

The top stylists do have bachelors degrees from universities.

You can start at a CC get your cosmetology license for cheap and get a “real degree” (according to parents) in something else…business??

You can’t become emancipated. You’re not a MINOR>

As for your dad “paying more taxes”…do NOT let him claim you as a dependent because HE is not supporting you. In the future, YOU need to file ASAP, claim YOURSELF, and then he won’t be able to claim you anymore. However, if they do end up paying for college, then you may want to let him claim you.

16

^ Yes, start at the local CC which has cosmetology.

17

Ok…so what will you gain if you are independent for financial aid purposes? Maybe not much…at all.

  1. Find out if the cosmetology school participates in the Direct Loan program. Some do not.

If they do, you would get $5500 as a dependent for financial aid, and $9500 if you were considered independent. That still leaves you with a $20,000 per year shortfall. You might qualify for a Pell grant, but the max for that is $5730…still leaving you with $15,000 or so to fund yourself.

Where will that money come from???

  1. Is there a public vocational college near you that actually grants degrees in cosmetology degrees? I can't think of one near here that does so...all are private...but it's worth checking.
  2. We know two extremely successful cosmetologists who also have bachelors degrees in business. They got their bachelors degrees first, and their cosmetology degrees after they completed their bachelors. One works for an international company doing marketing. They love her...because she is licensed in her region, she is also able to demonstrate the products. The second gal is working in a very very high end salon in a very very wealthy community. She lives about an hour away in a community where she can afford to live. But she is doing quite well too. She hopes to open or buy her own salon someday...and her business skills will be useful!

We also know a gal who attended a local beauty academy. She is extremely happy to be working as a hairdresser, but she doesn’t make a fortune. She had no loans to attend cosmetology school…and that helped.

  1. Keep this in mind...cosmetology schools do NOT have huge financial resources. It is very likely that the ONLY need based aid you would receive is the Direct Loan...plus a Pell if you are eligible. Combining those would not pay for your costs.
18

I don’t understand how you don’t have a credit history. Don’t you have utilities, a cell phone, etc.? At 21, it would be a good idea to have a credit card for emergencies, particularly if you’re self supporting. Will your boyfriend not co-sign loans for you? Not that I think loans are a good idea. I personally think you should go the CC route after saving up some money and get your license that way.

As far as taxes go, I assume you’re filing the 1040 EZ. Are you voluntarily checking the box that someone else is supporting you? Why would you do that?

It may make sense to put beauty school on hold for 3 years. Save some money and then at that time hopefully you can qualify for a Pell grant and whatever state grants Colorado offers. That way CC will be essentially free and you can get a part time job and a loan if necessary to cover living expenses. It will be less stressful in the end. 3 years isn’t that long of a time to wait. Consider the next 3 years as the first step in following your dream.

19

Check your local Vocational Technology Centers. Some offer great and CHEAP cosmetology programs!

20

Personally, I’d shake the dust off my feet as far as the lack of parental support goes. So I’ll mention one other thing, working 40 hours a week is probably not enough right now if you’re serious about your dream. I’m assuming you’re in good health (or hairdressing is not the career for you). You should shoot for an additional 20 hours with some other part time job. There are probably babysitting jobs available (check out care.com), dog walking, etc. You may find 20 additional hours too stressful, but really you should give it a try. If you’re living on your current salary, bank every penny from your side jobs. It’ll add up fast.