I spoke with my parents when I got home. They were both absolutely livid I had this meeting and that they were called, although I won’t go into word for word detail I was basically told by them I’m a lazy product of todays society and that I can do what I want but neither my father or my mother will support me, and come my 18th birthday (May 17th), I’m out of the house and will not be welcomed back.
My GC said I could stay in contact with her even after graduation so her and my friends parents are really REALLY helping me out here. I may also contact my local church too.
EDIT: I also forgot to mention to one asker, Yes I’m on their health and dental insurance, but I do know there are programs out there that provide free checkups and stuff like immunizations through the school, so I can figure that out at some point.
@hopefuldane611 - I’m so sorry and I do hope your home is a safe place for you, even if only for another month. I wish I lived close to where you are because we would absolutely welcome a student to our guest room. I am glad you have your friends’ house until he leaves and I’m willing to bet there will be another adult (maybe with grown children) that would open their home for you to stay. Maybe you can ask your GC to ask her friends. And I hope you have other trusted adults nearby.
And I do think you should take up Lindagaf on her kind offer to help you with your scholarship essays. You have a lot of adults on this forum that will do everything that is virtually possible to help you succeed!!
I’m so sorry you don’t have their support. You have a remarkable attitude in spite of it all, and I’m pulling for you out here in the inter-webs. Definitely keep connected with your GC, and if your friend’s family is willing to help with living arrangements, I’m sure
You will find a way to show your appreciation. I second the poster who suggested you find out about legal aid. If they have now essentially evicted you from their home, it seems very wrong that they should be able to claim you on their taxes and effectively hold you financially hostage to them until you are 24 without any benefit to you.
Stories like this make me so sad and if you lived anywhere near me I would welcome you into our house. Maybe a little of your ambition would rub off on my kid.
I’m so sorry for you home situation. I hate to ask, and you do not have to answer, but they sound abusive? Maybe you are better off moving out and being away from them. I’m glad you have the strength to leave and follow your dreams. It may wind up being a healthier environment for you once you are out of the house. When you move out and are 18, I think they no longer can claim you. (not sure)
I am also so happy you can go to college!! That’s awesome news. Focus on all the positive. You sound like a great person. I’m glad your GC was so helpful.
Don’t ever be afraid to reach out for help. So many people do care. I know I am rooting for you.
@hopefuldane611, I am so proud of you for working hard and making it work. All my best wishes are with you. I am sure you will succeed and will do great things.
Thanks everyone, the kind words are so nice and feel so great to hear from everybody I appreciate it beyond words and hope I make all of you guys proud. I just gotta keep working hard and moving forward things will work out!!!
@Luckyjade2024 its a great question! I think personally they definitely have traits of being abusive, but in their minds they’d call it “old fashioned”.
I didn’t really want to get into this earlier, but at this point I may as well just let it be known. They hit me and my brother with a belt and stuff when we were kids for just stupid kid stuff. My dad and all his siblings/counterparts say it “builds character” and “teaches wrong and right”, but all it really did was just mess us up and all it has done is make me resent my father beyond words for hurting me as a kid, and my mother for simply just egging him on. I get this is a very disputed topic but all it has done for me is make me terrified of him. (my dad was born in '56, mom born in '64)
My brother left for the marines I think because my parents just browbeat the life out of him and gave him the same option as me, unfortunately, my brother didn’t take his education seriously and didn’t have a choice.
I know I’m only 17, but I can assure you I will never hurt my child or put them through what my parents put us through. After I leave in May, I don’t want a thing from him or my mother.
One comment, OP, please be sure that there is no possibility that this message board could be viewed by your parents–especially (don’t meant to be so obvious) don’t EVER leave the window open on a laptop or phone.
With your birthday deadline in just one month, I really think it’s best if you can push that forward and find a way to get out sooner. You are the youngest left at home, correct? It’s possible that things could get worse as that date nears. I also think you are best served to do everything possible to leave on terms that are as good as possible. You can tell them when you leave, something like: you understand their terms and will certainly honor them, you found someplace to stay so you’ll leave now to be sure all is in order before your birthday, something like that.
And yes, I know that you will treat your future family in the right way. I’m especially moved by your story because my mom came from a very! similar situation. And in turn, my mom created a great place for me to grow up with love and security.
I am so sorry to hear this. I had a feeling it was a situation that wasn’t good. You will be better off out of the house. Maybe you can also talk to someone about what you have gone through, either a friend, counselor, or even on boards. (just don’t keep it inside)
You are resilient and will go so far in life. My mom’s closest friend had this type of “upbringing” and she is the most loving human being I have ever met. She has three grown children now, and she’s an amazing parent. so you definitely do not have to worry about turning out like your parents.
You will do great things. …I’m thrilled you get to go to college. !!
Unfortunately, you need your parents signature help for the FAFSA to work, even if it’s a full ride scholarship. The only alternative is military service or an ROTC scholarship. In either situation, you would be fully emancipated as an independent student.
@coolguy40 if you review post #50, “The Jefferson College advisor then tells me that based on my grades and resume, I’d be a great candidate for the freshman scholarship offered through the local community foundation. The scholarship does not require a FAFSA to be filled out. There are also several other scholarships being offered like this one and all of them have deadlines in May.”
The OP is targetting scholarships and opportunities that do not require FAFSA.
This suggests that starting at a SUNY CC is a dead end since the OP will not be able to afford the SUNY four year school that s/he transfers to before age 35, due to parental hostility.
https://www.pvamu.edu/faid/types-of-aid/scholarships/university-scholarships/ (full ride for 3.5 HS GPA and 1260 SAT, and OP has 3.6 HS GPA and 1330 SAT) may be the most viable option, if there is still any scholarship money left there. But the OP still needs to figure out what to do during breaks and how to get to Texas.
I am glad you ate able to find good community college alternatives, and when you file your taxes for 2020, it will be clear to the IRS that you are no longer a dependent. It is challenging to master paying rent, health insurance, buying food, perhaps a car payment on such a salary, in addition to college courses. Good luck.
Hopefuldane611, reading this post has made me very emotional. I can’t imagine what you are going through and as a parent, I just can’t understand how they don’t want to help you with your dreams and aspirations. I am rooting for you from afar. Your maturity and persistence will lead to great things for you in the future.
The minute they put you out or you leave let your counselor know that she can deem you an unaccompanied youth. Them you will be able to file the FAFSA as an independent student. (If you go back home you will be dependent again). If you are independent then your income assets will be used for the FAFSA. TAP will be harder and your GC with you present will have to contact the school for assistance.
Just so you know I was hit with a peculator wire by my mother. Think any plug that has a wire attached but these detached from the old coffee pots. It left marks on my arms. This was the way she was treated by her parents. This was back on the 1960’s. One time she went to hit me and I grabbed it and hit her back. She cried and never understood how much that hurt and damaged us emotionally. She never hit us after that.
Look into Co-op housing on campus or anywhere. It is usually very inexpensive and you live in a house almost like a fraternity but with both male and females. You share chores and cook meals together. Many campuses and cities have them. You can also buy food at market co-ops. Much cheaper to do this , this way btw. You also might find like minded people.
Since your parents are kicking you out you should get your hands on your social security card and birth certificate, quietly, pack a few clothes, and go to your friend’s house. Do it before your birthday and let your guidance counselor know after the move. For your own safety, don’t tell anyone until after you make the move.
Yes, I gathered everything. License, money, social security, birth certificate, all my clothes. Tonight I plan on gathering whatever else I can once my parents are asleep. My friend said I could go to his place tomorrow. Thanks to the information from @sybbie719 I’ve been doing research on independent student qualification for financial aid due to my being kicked out and I seem to be able to qualify based on what I’m seeing. I will mention that to my counselor as well. If this ends up being a possibility, I could possibly get financial aid without my parents needing to sign anything or provide information.