Please be careful. Clear the history of your Google search before you log off. And keep us updated.
we are all pulling for you!
So happy that your GC stepped up and helped you.
So many stories on this forum of GCs who are overworked, burned out, etc and do only the lowest minimum effort.
It is refreshing to hear of a GC who really worked hard for your future today. One meeting is going to change your life. I wish I could hug your GC!
You may encounter roadblocks along your education journey, but think of us here cheering you on, and don’t give up.
Come back and update us on your progress, or ask for help if you get stuck along the way.
Also you stated you pay your own bills. If credit card etc is on your name, car payment, check on the deferral payments that every one is offering. It doesn’t eliminate anything but gives you a few months to not pay anything. This might just give you a buffer for now
Also talk to your bank about building your credit if you have a bank account. If they know your situation then they can help if things get rough. As your doing now, be proactive.
Also look into applying for medicaid. Find out what you need to do. This can lead to getting food stamps if needed down the road. https://www.ny.gov/services/apply-snap
Talk to responsible adults to help you plan for your next steps.
Wow OP, please be careful. Good luck. Keep posting for advice.
If you have a level of trust with your friend’s parents and are going to live with them for a period of time, you might consider proposing an arrangement where you sign a lease agreement and pay them rent, and they put it aside in an account for your schooling or your transition to your next living arrangement.
This way, if there’s any paperwork where you need to document your housing costs, you won’t lose out on funding for lack of documented expenses. And your savings in your own name won’t get too high - having more than $2000 in your own name will disqualify you for Medicaid, for example.
The downside is that you’d have no legal claim on the money; you’d have to trust them to gift it to you when you need it. But if you have someone who will do that, it can be a good idea as it keeps your documented finances looking like a self-supporting student’s should.
The upside is that they can have complete confidence that you’re saving money and that nobody will end up feeling stuck with the arrangement because you can’t afford to move out. It works like a security deposit that protects them as well as you.
This is the arrangement I have with the young person who lives with me. If you absolutely trust them to hold the money for you, it can be a good idea.
Good luck, and kudos to you for persevering and making lemonade out of lemons. Please do keep us posted.
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This would also mean the OP could not become an unaccompanied homeless youth for financial aid purposes. He pays rent, he is not homeless
As a self supporting students he needs his parents income/assets for financial aid.
It would be very tight to get to be independent by your 18th birthday, but do it if you can. Go back to your GC tomorrow and have her document that you are now homeless. That will change a lot for you.
I know we are all giving advice but it’s because everyone cares and really means well here. Make the best out of your new situation. Become part of the family per se. Make sure you do the little things by taking your dishes and washing them and putting them in the dishwasher. Taking out the trash. Ask if there’s anything you can help with around the house type of thing. You don’t want to show up your friend but you want to show worth. Maybe you’ll be able to stay a bit longer so you can put away some money?
As OP is still a minor, it is unlikely the car or any credit card is in his name, but was titled in the parent’s name. I am less optimistic about his ability to establish homelessness given that his parents will state he left voluntarily and there are no documents to the contrary, but hope it all works out. I would expect the parents will cease any cell phone or internet service they provide.
@roycroftmom The OP stated previously that he pays his own cell phone bills. Not so unusual - my kids pay for theirs, too.
@roycroftmom:
The parents don’t provide anything beside shelter. He pays for everything or pays his parents for his food and right to stay in his room.For instance, if OP stopped paying his parents for food, would they stop feeding him?
(OP stated he’s paid for everything since age 12).
OP also stated his truck is in his name. That a way to discipline him is to yell in his face or to hit him with a belt (I assume the former since he’s gotten older and the latter when he was younger and smaller).
The GC can testify to the dereliction of duty/abusive nature of the family unit = OP didn’t leave “on his own”, he was pushed out by abusive parents.
If asked why he left then, he can truthfully say that 1) he didn’t know if he’d have a place to stay anywhere so had to find some landing spot. Now, he has one. 2° didn’t realize how bad it was till he spoke with his guidance counselor.
I hope OP was able to leave relatively unscathed (as the parents are already livid about his plans to go to college and have stated in no uncertain terms that a month from now, he’s on his own, they don’t want him in the house at all; and the verbal/physical violence has already been stated.)
Hopefully the friend’s family can help him longer than through August, but even just these few months, living rent-free and saving the construction work’s wages will help him a lot down the line, as will be living in a non-abusive household.
I understand and agree that OP has been in an awful situation. When kids say they pay their own cell phone bill, it often means they reimburse their parents for their portion of a bill on a family plan, rather than that they have their own separate contract with a provider. Same with car payments.
He may be paying them, but it is unlikely the vehicle was titled to a minor, so the parent will own it.
Sadly, there are a not insubstantial number of youth in the position of OP. Colleges often require government documentation (court order, finding of parental abuse or neglect, emancipation papers, time in foster care) to substantiate the claims, as there are so very many. It is worth a try, and maybe OP can find a sympathetic school, but it will be hard.
OP I hope you will continue to use this board as a resource-- as you hit inevitable bumps in the road the posters here can help you troubleshoot and offer good advice and other help.
You write extremely well, and have a good head on your shoulders. Keep us posted, I am rooting for you!
Couldn’t this board be used for legal purposes? Couldn’t he show a court or whomever what he wrote here? This is a documentation of sorts.
you can be an unaccompanied homeless youth for financial aid after 18
Your GC can be asked to document your situation. It may not count for legal purposes, but colleges do lean on the GC report (and followup updates) to understand each applicant.
OP appears to lack the requisite certification of homelessness from his school district, HUD-qualified facility, or licensed shelter. Perhaps he can acquire one, as that would assist greatly in the FAFSA process, at least.
@hopefuldane611, sybbie719 is an expert on NYS education and aid. Pay close attention to her posts. MYOS1634 is an expert on your type of situation. Pay attention to what she has to say too.
Go to the nycourts.gov webpage. It has a phone number there for free legal advice. One thing I saw from that webpage is that parents have a duty in NY to support until age 21. So maybe can get legally emancipated as long as it’s before 21? I don’t know, but it’s worth finding out. I think getting as much information possible is always a good thing. It lets you weigh your options. As you are weighing things, don’t minimize the toll that this can take on you. It can eat up a lot of your time, and could be psychologically draining. Or not. It depends on what the process would be, and you won’t know that until you know what’s involved.
On another note, I know someone who went to college on a department of defense SMART scholarship. This is as a civilian, not military. Yes, you will owe the department of defense some years of service after college, but as a civilian, so no boot camp with marine Sargents yelling at you etc. The person I know who did this thought it was extremely worth-while for him and that he got terrific career experience. There is a post somewhere here on CC about a year ago where some people said it wasn’t a great deal because they could make more money in the private sector after graduation, but if you can’t go to college otherwise, it sounds like an opportunity to me. I bet you’d qualify for this scholarship, but the downside is if you apply now, it would be for Fall 2021. If you have any interest, you could check it out and see whether you could go to community college for a year or two on your own, and then transfer to a 4 year with this scholarship for the remaining time.