Soooo, D1 was just offered a job in London that she will most likely accept and start, given all works out, in July. She currently has a great job in NYC and owns ( has a mortgage) a great apartment in Manhattan.
I think this is great for her if this is what she wants. We are having long talks about the implications. Her partner also has a good job in NY but is in the process of interviewing for a new job. He has already had multiple interviews for this new job. But his current job has offices all over the world and he could request a transfer to London. No guarantee.
So selfishly I am also sad. I know I will not get to see her as often as I do now, which is currently about 4 or so times a year.
So how has it worked out with your kids? Do you visit with each other often? What happens on holidays? Do they move back to the USA?
One of mine spent between 5-10 years in the UK and was motivated to return when siblings began having kids; it’s great to have her back in the US and yet, a bit sad, too, as she had a fantastic adventure and I wish I had visited more!
Congrats! One of mine is beginning year 4 in Asia with no return plans. As “Mom”, I couldn’t be happier with these young adult years. Totally unexpected life opportunity.
Holidays belong to kid and sometimes kid has had plans not involving family. I have traveled there for one Christmas and a couple Easter’s as I have more free time. We have jointly traveled to Asian locations I never expected to see, unexpected life opportunity for me, also. We have made no requests for visits to the US, but these have been fairly regular, once a year at least.
Skype makes the world very small. I think I hear more than when kid was a grad student in the US.
I have a friend whose D went to UK as a college exchange student and then transferred there and lived there for several years. She got engaged and she and fiancé moved to HI where they’ve married and stayed, with H becoming a US citizen.
Another friend had a D who lived in China, Boston, Taiwan and has now settled in Portland, OR. The son lived in CA and other states before resettling in HI. She visited them when she could and they all did a few trips together, plus they’re happy visiting HI. They have all enjoyed their adventurous lives.
Not sure if you are east or west coast but if you’re normal pattern of seeing each other is four times a year, it seems that could continue. I know it wouldn’t be much more expensive or time-consuming travel wise if my kid were to pick say CA or Washington State than if she picked London. I would actually love it if she chose London, its a great base for exploring Europe during visits. Perfect scenario for me would be two visits there and two “home” visits to see extended family.
My son has been in Beirut since August, 2016. He’s come home for one visit, this past Christmas. He was here for a month, long enough for us to be glad when it was time for him to return, ha. Unexpectedly, my parents offered to send my husband and me to Lebanon to see him, so we’re going in June.
He wants to do volunteer work with Syrians, long-term. I don’t think we’ll get to see him very often. But he’s happy and helping people, so I’m thrilled.
S attends college in London and after graduation in July he will will be working there. It will be somewhat of a change as he will not have as much time off as he did as a student.
I’m happy that he has a good job lined up and great opportunities to travel while he is young. The downside is that I miss him.
OP - I know what your D does. I am sure her company will treat her very well if she is going as an expat. She will get many perks - housing, car, cost of living adjustment and 1-2 business class tickets home.
If you are on the East coast, even midwest, London is 6-7 hrs away. You could go there for a long weekend. I am sure she will also come back to NYC on business. I think you would be surprised how often you would get to see her. I worked overseas for few years and my parents were concerned if they would be able to see me. They came over to visit me a few times. We were always home for the holidays and every time I came back for business I visited them.
You wanted to travel more. With your D over there you could take the opportunity to see Europe.
Congratulations to your daughter. I am sure it is a great opportunity.
D1 goes in and out of Europe for work all the time, last week she was in London for a day trip. Think of your daughter moving to CA.
Our daughter pursued a Master’s degree at the Denmark Technology University, and we naively thought that would be a two year stint. But she found her dream job in Copenhagen and has been living there almost 4 years. I don’t think she’ll ever come back. I’m happy for her but sad for us.
She has flown home multiple times a year, first to visit her boyfriend, and now to attend weddings of good friends. So far she has spent every Christmas with us, but I don’t know how long that will last. We have only visited once, primarily because she has come home so frequently.
From the start, we set up a once a week telephone schedule. We usually talk close to an hour. There’s lots of texting and Snapchats in between.
Our other daughter will most likely end up living on the other side of the US, so a 5 1/2 nonstop plane trip away. Who knows if we will move to be closer to one of them. But we raised them to pursue their dreams, and that’s what they are doing.
S2 moved to Eastern Europe two months ago and is loving it. We are going over in August to visit and travel with him, since his language skills will be essential in places where English is not spoken much. He plans to be there for a year or two, but I would not be shocked if it turns into a longer gig. The COL is Incredibly low and he’s enjoying that he can live on his own and has money to do pretty much what he wants (unlike here, which is a high COL area and he had no choice but to live at home). For the time being, he plans to use his vacation to visit his cousin and her H who are stationed in Germany, go to Israel, and travel in Eastern Europe.
Frequent flyer miles are our friend, though DH got an open jaw RT fare to S’s new city and back through Stockholm for $800.
S1 lives in CA. We see him about 4x/year – we go to CA in October, he comes east for Thanksgiving, for a conference in January and generally has a work group meeting on the East Coast at least once a year, when he’ll also swing by here. Some years he meets us in GA when the rest of my family is there.
We use whatsapp and Google hangouts. I hear more from S2 now than when he was in college! He is able to pick up all his sports teams online, which is a good link for him and me to stay connected. He has also started a blog and he FB friended me the day before he left. (He always had a No Adults rule re: FB.) FB and his twitter accounts are proof of life.
BTW, DD moved home to the US, but her job is not near us, now the drive is about the length of the previous flights, so she is still not nearby. Just because they are on this continent, does not mean they are in your town. Embrace and support the international adventure.
Last August our son moved to Sydney for a job with a startup. He is in the midst of a complicated visa application process which he hopes will end up letting him stay. We have continued our weekly phone calls. He calls us when he’s either going to or coming from the grocery store, as he did when he lived in the US! Not much has changed at all, except for the significant time change. He was never a big communicator and still isn’t.
Our daughter has been in Madrid since last summer (she was in Chile the previous year) and plans to stay in Spain for at least another year before finding her next adventure. We rarely talk on the phone, but communicate daily through text messages. We also Skype often.
I find it sad that we’re so far apart, even if our communication levels haven’t changed much. We live in the midwest and our airport is served mainly by regional airlines, so flying anywhere takes time and costs a lot. This summer we will have a reunion in Spain and spend 2 weeks together, then our kids will spend several days together! I’m really looking forward to that. We will visit our son in Australia next year assuming he is still there.
D has been in Italy for 4 years and plans to stay another 2 at least. We have seen her twice a year. She has made it home each Christmas and usually another time in the summer. S has been in Alaska (our country, but quite far) for 8 years. He also visits twice a year. (S married last year, so we’ll see if his visits change…) We’ve visited each of them only once. But we do keep in touch by phone, text, FB chat, etc. so I honestly don’t feel like they are that far away. (I have 5 younger children, so that probably keeps me from missing the oldest two too much.)
You’re fortunate that London is easy to get to. Enjoy!
Thanks for the input. As I stated originally, I am happy and excited for her. But I’m still a little sad for me. We don’t live near an airport. So no matter what, it will be difficult to visit. I just like being with her. Not just texting or even talking on the phone or FaceTime.
But we will make do. At least H and I are traveling with her and her partner in Europe for a week this summer. Then they will be off to a wedding and H and I will continue our visit in other places for a week. Ironically we end up in London because H has never been there. I have a few time. Seems now we will be back there often, if possible!
My daughter, and her now husband, live in the UK. She was transferred within her company there about 6 years ago. Once she fell in love and married a Brit, we thought she would stay, but she said one of the conditions to marrying him is she would want to come back to the states in the near future. Well, we were just told last night that she is coming back the first of the year! =D> It seems it can take a year for her husband to get a green card, and she may have to come without him to start. Her company wanted her in October, but she pushed it to January. Anyone looking for a rental flat in London, I know of a good one with attentive owners
With my son and his wife expecting their first child, and my daughter moving within a few hours of them, my husband and I are thinking about moving closer to them, although we would not do anything while our three living parents are around. Just something we will toy with in the future. I am just excited to have everyone in the same country as airfare has made it hard to see everyone as easily as we would like. Mainly for the grandparents of my kids; they can handle a flight or car ride to where my kids are, but over the pond is too much. That all said, I could only wish I had the experiences my daughter has had in her young life, and so happy she has been able to travel like she has.
Not a job…but our kid did a 27 month Peace Corps assignment and we only saw her one time in those two years…about halfway through her service. It really wasn’t so bad. We used Skype every week. And we could send messages that way too. Yes, we missed her…but it was a great oooortunity…as is the one your daughter has in London.
Actually…your daughter’s sounds better…salary, excellent benefits and perks…and a place you can get to in 6-8 hours (it was a 30 hour plane trip to Africa).
Try to plan a trip there to visit. It’s going to be great…and it’s not forever.
We have the flipside of the overseas equation. We are in Asiaa, our daughter in college in the US. This is our 21st year overseas, with three more to go (we thought we’d be out of the US for two years). We see her twice a year. It’s hard, but we all understand why the other is where they are. Texting and Skype sure do help.
Like others have said, with FaceTime, texting, etc… it doesn’t really matter if they are across the country or across the globe. My husband was totally against owning an iPhone until he saw how often I talked to my daughter; so three years ago he got his first iPhone! While I might only “talk” to my daughter once a week, we text all the time, or gchat on the computer. If I want to just call for the fun of it, I do; it doesn’t cost a thing. She likes to FaceTime with her dog that lives with us She wanted to know if she could have him back, but her father is not letting that dog leave; the two of them are attached at the hip :))
Due to her work, she does come to the states at least twice a year, so while the company pays for the flight over the pond, so then tags on a visit to home. On top of that, they usually will make a long trip over together for Thanksgiving, so we really do see her often. Actually, I think we see her more than my son who is a 7 hour car ride away
It really is the grandparents that miss them the most. Both my husband’s family and mine all live in the same city with the exception of a few; we are a large family. My cousin, my two kids, and two of my brother’s kids are elsewhere, but everyone else is here. We get together often for dinners, birthdays, etc… so it is hard for the grandparents when the kids are not here, but they understand. My son is great an makes an effort to attend all the weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs his schedule will allow; my daughter has missed many as cost of airfare did not allow her to come. Now being in the states, she will attend more often!
My D lived nearly 3 years in Asia, coming home once in the middle of her stint. She has been back home nearly 3 years now, but she still vacations by herself (she has no friends who are interested in foreign travel) which causes me great worry. Like the poster upthread, she friended me on Facebook before she left and I stalked her daily for signs of life! LOL
