It’s really interesting to hear everyone’s perspectives on the level of parental support you are giving to your kids job searches. I’m kind of feeling like maybe there has been an uptick in parental involvement coming out of the pandemic? Are most of you who are saying you had zero involvement the parents of current college students and recent grads or are your kids older?
With my S17, my only involvement was to suggest he look into the co op program at his school. The engineering department offered a professional skills class (I’m not sure if it was required) that went over resumes,cover letters and worked on interviewing skills. I’ve never even seen his resume. He recently decided to leave the company he has been with since freshman year of college. Kiddo mentioned that he did some reformatting of his resume because of companies using AI to screen. I have no idea what he actually changed but apparently it worked. He starts a new job next week and he did ask his father and I for advice in evaluating his job offers. We really just served as a sounding board and he wanted reassurance that he was making the right decision.
I have been relatively hands off with S22. He did ask for feedback on his resume. I gave him some suggestions as did his older brother. He also had his school career services look over it. 100 percent agree that especially in this job market, it’s important to have another set of eyes on the resumes and cover letters. Other than that my involvement has been more of “hey knucklehead, it’s December already. You might want to start looking for a summer job.”
I don’t know if you all have seen all the recent headlines about Gen Z’ers bringing their parents to job interviews? I can’t imagine that this is really that prevalent but if true I find it beyond disturbing.
I’m not buying the 77 percent headline, but there has been a lot of press around this. Here is a CNBC piece from last year which reported that 1 in 4 Gen Z’ers brought a parent to a job interview.
Other than bouncing ideas off of me, my son handles everything on his own. He’s had internships the past three summers and just finished wrapping up an internship and has a full time offer in hand when he graduates next spring. I think he prefers driving the car himself.
Super valid point that what parents did or didn’t do even a few years ago isnt necessarily relevant to this thread. Heck, I even hesitate posting in this thread and my d graduated in ‘23.
Ha. I am reminded that I sort of went to older S’ interview. He had the big Power Day interview where he spent the entire day at the building, doing 4 interviews with various people, toured the building, etc. it was scheduled right before his finals. I asked him the day before - the day he had to drive up - “hey do you want company?” To my surprise, he said yes! I ran home, threw a bag together and drove the 2.5 hours to his school. I then drove the 3 hours to the hotel.
The interview was in my hometown area. I’m very comfortable driving there. He was not at the time. I was his chauffeur. I was his friend. We chatted about life. I told him what I thought he was really good at - not academic wise.
The next morning I dropped him off at the interview and had a ball. I went for a run. I went to the mall in my old stomping grounds. I read a book. I texted with him in between sessions. I picked him up when he was done. I helped him decompress. He was unsure how he did the creative interviews. The academic ones - no problemo. He told me what he said and I thought he was great. Sure he didn’t come up with 10 great features, but the ones he did come up with covered not just his younger person demographic, but also the elderly, handicapped, parents with kids, etc. I boosted his confidence and gave him time to write his thank you emails and study for his exams.
It was honestly one of the best times I spent with my kid. And he did get the job.
Oh yes I know. I didn’t go. But it triggered such a good memory. And I didn’t tell him to just suck it up and become an adult. Which is often my default response
All of my S22’s interviews have been on zoom. I can’t imagine any circumstances where parents would be present at an in person interview. I can envision scenarios where a parent could be off camera coaching their kid during an online interview and the interviewer not even being aware it is going on.
We did not advise or help any of our kids with job/internship searches. Ours were all involved in professional clubs at school which provided a lot of resources as well as being in certain professional academies at their schools.
However, if they needed our help we would have done so, they are all very much self starters and good networkers.
Would never have spoken to a hiring manager on their behalf. I’ve had parents reach out to me for help with a contact and I always say, your kid should be doing the reaching out - it’s their career.
So, good to be helpful but let the kid do the actual work.
I drove S to the coffee shop where he was having interview because he didn’t have car and ride share was not prevalent at the time. I stayed in the car. He was offered job but declined. (He was flattered—1st career as a SR.)
Also he honestly didn’t know how to get to that coffee shop (some distance from our home & we never go to that area of city). I wanted him to be relaxed so it was easier if he could just ge a passenger & relax.
My husband fields a lot of calls from his co-workers about parents wanting to negotiate job offers and how to handle it. The sad thing is, these are jobs that will most probably need a security clearance.
When my kids were young teens I dropped them off and picked them up. My 2 oldest are still working at the companies where they interned in college. My 22 and 24 year olds (both graduated in May, undergrad/grad) did the same (24 year old just reached out to her past clinicals). My other 24 year old got his own jobs including a couple of internships. Hopefully he will have employment lined up before he graduates in May.
My two have done everything themselves. I probably drove them to their jobs when they were younger, but they interviewed and made decisions on where to apply on their own. I maybe proofread their resumes. But for their adult job searches, I would never be involved except to suggest industries they could look into for available positions.
We did a bit of coaching with our kids for their job/internship searches. Most of the coaching involved reminding them to put their searches into high gear early enough to be effective (not knowing when hiring/application seasons actually are is the biggest mistake I see young people making in general). Also reminding them of the resources they had available (career services, mentors, etc).
Most of the rest of our ‘help’ consisted of helping them decompress from interviews, understand the nuances of conversational exchanges they relayed, reminding them about the importance of thank you notes (that thankfully seems to have fully taken during high school) etc. Basically providing moral support up to and including supporting them in turning down opportunities appropriately.
A big tip my oldest’s first mentor gave her was to keep a running file on all of her accomplishments, awards, successes, etc (with firm figures attached). This file now runs several pages and DD uses it to figure out what needs to be included for each job opportunity/resume.
It has helped her (and her siblings when she shared this advice) as they are able to tailor their resumes and cover letters to each opportunity they apply to without forgetting information/recognitions that would strengthen each application. It is also a great refresher before interviews as it gives them talking points/anecdotes.
Given the changes in the job market, I agree that it would be helpful for posters to include the year their child graduated or interviewed for their first full-time job to provide context.
We had absolutely zero involvement in either of our kids’ job searches. I was asked to proof letters and resumes at times because I am the family proofreader. I was asked to evaluate benefit packages a couple times. I viewed my adult kids more as adults than kids, and I would never have inserted myself into their careers. Neither kid had an easy time with their job searches at graduation, but both figured it out. As I knew they would.
I have two kids in their 30s. I never helped with the job searches or related aspects. I do recall being a proofreader of resumes back when they were in college, but not since then. Every job they got on their own.
If graduating today, I would do it no differently.