<p>Why do Hapas (read: half asian/ half whites) hate asians so much? There is this Hapa guy at my school whos 16 and a half, and he thinks that just becuase he is “half-asian” he has a right to diss/make fun of asians, but at the same time, since he is also half-white, he calls asians names like chink or fried noodle or cr*ap like that…stuff he would never call asians if he were full asians. He uses the mentality of a white guy that he’s better to make fun of them, but also the mentality of “since I’m asian, I get to make fun of asians.”</p>
<p>He literally calls me fried rice every single day in Health class, right in front of the teacher, who doesn’t give a care. Everyone thinks it is okay for him to do that since he’s half-asian, yet he acts all superior since he’s half white. He only hangs out with white people and only dates white girls, like all Hapas I’ve seen, but for some reason looks very asian and only slightly slighty white.</p>
<p>Also, he is the class clown so everyone thinks it’s okay. Yet I know that he does sometimes try to be a gentlemen…I am thinking of grabbing the back of his shirt rea hard when nobodys around and surprising him and telling him to stop calling me that, uut although he has a slight amount of class I don’t know if he will be one of those people who actually will stop…cuz I’m an (Asian) girl and he won’t try to pick a fight with me since I’m female…</p>
<p>I am definantly not going to reason him him, what should I do he is so annoying.</p>
<p>I suggest that you feel sorry for him. Sounds like he has a lot of self hate. Clearly, the things he’s saying about Asians also apply to him and his Asian parent and other relatives.</p>
<p>Have you or anyone else tried telling him how offensive and hurtful what he’s doing is and how bad he makes himself look? Perhaps if you and other students who are bothered by his remarks (and I bet that there even are some nonAsian students who don’t think he’s funny) talk to him in a group, he’ll stop the behavior.</p>
<p>I feel for you, but I agree with NSM that this guy has a lot of unresolved issues. My S is friendly with many half-Asians, some half-white, some half-black. And they are very comfortable in their skins and happy to be part of different communities. One managed to be head of both the Asian-American and the African-American club at the same time!
You might ask him if he calls his Asian relatives what he calls you to their face.</p>
<p>You should find out what his home phone number is, call his parents, and then give the phone to him, saying that it’s your asian friends. It would be quite hilarious to see the look on his face after he calls his mom “fried rice”.</p>
<p>Realistically speaking, this is a non-issue that only plagues teenagers stuck in an overly dramatic middle/high school setting - get over it.</p>
<p>Adding that my S has several friends who are Hapas, and I’ve never heard any of them make disparaging comments about Asians. They also have full Asians (and people of other races and ethnicities) as friends.</p>
<p>The guy that you describe has a problem, and it’s not one that all Happas share. I feel sorry for him. He also doesn’t realize that many of the people whom he thinks are laughing with him as he hurls racist taunts at people who share his race are actually laughing at him.</p>
<p>dmd77-If I ignore him the white kids around me will think that “all asians are quiet and nonconforntational.” I want to ignore him but I don’t want to fuel a sterotype. </p>
<p>northstarmom-I never thought about it that way</p>
<p>"If I ignore him the white kids around me will think that “all asians are quiet and nonconforntational.”</p>
<p>So what? It’s not their business anyway.
(As I say this, I do empathize because I’m black, and know how when one member of my race is acting up, I wonder what onlookers who aren’t black think).
The nonAsians may also think that the guy is immature and someone to be scorned, while you and your friends are mature to ignore him.</p>
<p>I agree that the guy has a problem, but I disagree that this is a non-issue and that the OP has the responsibility to get over it and ignore it. Why is a racial slur against an Asian OK? And particularly in a classroom, every day, in front of a teacher. The racial make-up of the offending kid is immaterial.</p>
<p>I remember being called a jap and a chink when I was young, until the Viet Nam war, then I was called a gook. I can’t believe the double standard that I’m hearing on this board.</p>
<p>I’m missing something here. First, I agree the teacher should not allow racial slurs in his classroom. Second, I assume you’ve already tried the standard strategy: “I didn’t hear that. Were you talking to me? What did you say again?” At that point, there’s not much to be gained by getting upset, since anyone who continues at that point is simply making a fool of themselves.</p>
<p>entomom,
You make an important point, and I stand corrected. The young man’s behavior is no more acceptable than if a white student were calling other kinds of people of color racial slurs.</p>
<p>Presumably the young man’s behavior violates school rules, and those affected by it and their supporters should complain to the faculty and administration. </p>
<p>And anyone who has been laughing at the young man’s so called jokes should feel ashamed of themselves.</p>
<p>This a little bit reminds me of the Seinfeld where the dentist converted to Judaism and now suddenly felt it was okay for him to make Jewish jokes.</p>
<p>A lot of what this guy is saying may be motivated by his own feeling of insecurity. The racial slurs aren’t acceptable since it might hurt others but in the end, it’s himself he’s making a joke of although he may not realize that.</p>
<p>Asians and whites are just supposed to suck up and take racism against their respective races, don’t ya know? Well you could have a rally but the Asian one would be brushed off as, “Oh those poor smart babies” and the white one would be called racist at just the thought of it.</p>
<p>I am going to throw this one out there - do you think he calls you those names EVERYDAY, and the fact that it bothers you so INTENSELY, have something more to do with a male/female thing?</p>
<p>My kids are half asian/half whites and they have white, asian, black, and Hapas friends. It used to make their father very mad when they would tell people, “I am Chinese.” My husband would have to finish it off, “and Irish, French, American.” I would add, “Chinese - the better half.” We celebrate all Chinese and American holidays, every holiday that involves food, presents and money, so my kids are doubly fortunate.</p>
<p>One more thing, Hapas are especially smart and good looking - just my personal view.</p>
<p>Does your school take racial slurs seriously?</p>
<p>If yes, then I would suggest that you discuss these slurs with an assistant principal, guidance counselor, or whoever is appropriate at your school. You should not have to put up with it. </p>
<p>I would advise you not to touch him or grab him in any way. Much better to ignore him.</p>
<p>About your concern about stereotypes: what if you just are yourself? If you just are your authentic self, sometimes you will act consistent with a stereotype and sometimes you will not. Isn’t it better to simply be yourself than to allow your every action to be influenced by a stereotype?</p>
<p>Self-hatred is not that uncommon among minorities–it’s not that uncommon in our overly affluent society in fact. The offender has unfortunate insecurities. I do not think it is your job to fix or explain him.</p>
<p>I agree that you need to defend yourself more vigorously–not for the benefit of the offender or the teacher but because you should not put up with those attacks. He is taking advantage of you and you need to sort out a way to deflect him.</p>
<p>That’s the first problem.</p>
<p>The second problem is the teacher. How widespread is that casual attitude? Does the school sponsor any diversity or teaching tolerance sessions? If they do, then you shoudl consdier going to the GC to talk about how the teacher is creating an uncomfortable and racist environment. However, if the school has no diversity efforts, you must weigh the politics. Talk to your mom and dad and your friends.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a rather animated argument I witnessed at a party over the winter break between two friends - one black and one puerto rican. I’ll spare you the details.</p>