Parents of seniors, has it *really* hit you yet??

Parent Cafe
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<p>Hey y’all~</p>

<p>Well, here I am, going along in the busy month of May with all of its myriad end-of-school activities, thinking I’m handling my D’s upcoming graduation completely in stride emotionally, right? Well, I just got a HUMONGOUS JOLT!!! :eek:</p>

<p>D’s bf, whom she’s been dating for nearly 2.5 years, just came by with his mother’s graduation gift for my D. I’m STILL CRYING!!! :o</p>

<p>She made a DVD set to music…but not just <em>any</em> music. My D is in musical theatre and is a wonderful singer. His mom captured her singing several different show and pop tunes and set them to a DVD of pictures of her all the way from infancy through senior prom. She also used some other very touching music.</p>

<p>I just watched it…OH MY G-D! When I look back on this precious, gorgeous, beautiful baby girl and see those pics set to her incredible voice of NOW. <em>MAJOR GOOSEBUMPS</em> Did I <em>know</em> back then what an truly amazing human being that she would become? Or, did I just guess and hope and pray? :confused:</p>

<p>I have to say that watching that DVD provided <em>the</em> moment…the irrefutable, undeniable INSTANT…that told me, “Those years are GONE. FOREVER and ALWAYS. FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.” :(</p>

<p>I know, I know…there are <em>SO</em> many more moments of joy and triumph and wonder to come. And yes, I look forward to those with all of my heart. But, well, I have <em>no</em> doubt that you other parents of seniors know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? ;)</p>

<p>So tell me, when and how did this fact of your senior getting to this point <em>really</em> hit you. Like a ton of bricks. Like a 2 x 4. Like a jolt of lightning?</p>

<p>My moment just happened about ten minutes ago. Wow. Just, wow.</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

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<p>B, it just keeps hitting, even after they go to college. Two of those college years have ticked away very quickly. Our D is coming home for the Summer - or at least part of it. We suspect this will be the last time.</p>

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<p>My D reminded me on Sunday “I graduate in exactly one month, and I go to college in exactly 3 months and 21 days.” Yikes!</p>

<p>Then yesterday afternoon, she was in her room organizing her clothes (putting winter ones away, getting summer ones out) and she said to me “can I have a container for the stuff I’m bringing to college?” That really hit me like a ton of bricks!</p>

<p>A week from tomorrow, we go to freshman orientation with her.</p>

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<p>I’m still blissfully in denial! And my son’s graduation is a week from Friday. :o</p>

<hr>

<p>Well, I was trying to put in the shocked smilie above, but I just don’t appear to be capable of doing that. (Maybe this one is more apropos anyway.)</p>

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<p>Berurah,</p>

<p>From one mom of many kiddos to another, when you get to last one…UGH.</p>

<p>My youngest (kiddo #5) is a rising senior. Went to see his sis (#3) last week out in NM, and bawled like a baby leaving her. She will be home next week for six days and then gone all summer, and fall. Will see her again at Christmas, she has practice, practice and some school thrown in. Her little brother (#4) has missed her much this year since he is in the northeast so he will be attending school with her this summer out in NM. Coach let him go since he could practice out there. So they will be together all summer.</p>

<p>Meanwhile older son (#2) will be leaving for northeast (USNA) as well in late June and will see him for 2 days in August and then again at Christmas.</p>

<p>Needless to say I have been sniffling and whining and wimpering all about my kittens going far and wide. </p>

<p>Used to needing 2 carts at the Super Walmart for groceries, now I just pick up that little basket.</p>

<p>Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Oh, berurah, you who give gentle hugs to everyone else:</p>

<p>(((((({{{{{{{{ ! }}}}}}}))))))</p>

<p>What an amazing gift! Those years are your gift and nobody can ever take them away from you. How wonderful that your g.f.'s mom knew what you value most. A CD of her performances over time? Awesome.</p>

<p>I got anxious/edgy with the packing, at every transition, every vacation all through college. My “moment” was a quiet, incredulous look from my eldest during June, following graduation, sorting stufffff… I must have asked a question that implied he’d be living there long. He looked at me and said, “You never expected me to come back and live here here in town with you?” WHAM. I realized that was it, all along. I’d be the first to admit: he has no opportunity in this region for the work he wants to do. So, every departure during college was practice for the “big one” that came after graduation, when he really moved away for good.
Now I’m starting to live in my imagination more, I don’t mean I’m going nuts (well, maybe) but I get energy from imagining him in his right, proper place where he can flourish.
Is there no END to how generous we are as Moms???<br>
BUT I’m happy for him, visit often, email, go see him in shows, and still feel close in my heart. </p>

<p>For now, just … HUGS for you, b.</p>

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<p>ZG drives her little brother to school every morning this year and he mentioned her driving him next year (they are IN LOVE) and I had to tell him that she wouldn’t be here. I cried.</p>

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<p>B, What a beautiful gift from your D’s BF’s mom! She obviously put a ton of time,effort and love into the planning of of something your D will treasure always. </p>

<p>I imagine that this has snuck up on you for several reasons (and I fully anticipate being right there where you are now this time next year). One is that you have obviously been much more focused on the college comings and goings of the older one up to now. What I notice is that the jolt for me comes when S <em>returns</em> home. Weird, huh? It’s like edad says it just keeps hitting you in unexpected times and places. For me, in those first few days of having S back home I find that I am more aware than ever of what I’ve been missing the rest of the time! Anyway, you are RIGHT when you say that this is not the end. And that they really do keep coming back. </p>

<p> {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}</p>

<p>coming your way!</p>

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<p>It hit me on the way home from a college visit back in October. She decided back then that this was the school she was going to go. I cried half way home. I’ve been getting teary-eyed over the least little things. I even cried at the pharmacy (I know the pharmacist and she has a daughter graduating, too) when I was picking up a prescription for her. We had started talking about where the kids were going to school and grad parties. Even though I was embarrassed the tears just kept coming. They all thought I was nuts. Well, I probably am :P</p>

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<p>B–what a sweet gift!</p>

<p>H always sings, “Where are you going, my little one, little one. . .” at those significant moments. Gets me every time.</p>

<p>When H took S#1 to the airport last August, I cried in anger when I saw the mess he left in his room. Then, as I was cleaning up in there, I found his tattered velveteen rabbit under his bed. . .</p>

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<p>OK, y’all are DOIN’ me in here!!! <em>SNIFFLE</em></p>

<p>BUT…I have the (temporary) cure! GUESS WHO I’m having lunch with? Yep…my oldest SON. And, even better…<em>HE</em> asked <em>ME</em>!!! :D</p>

<p>More later…I <em>LOVE</em> reading all of your posts, even if I have to keep the Kleenex comin’…</p>

<p>love, ~berurah</p>

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<p>It’s some sort of really sick joke that the beginnings of menopause, teenage rebellion and need for independence, emptying the nest and a new role for mom, financial concerns with college tuition, the end of high school years and all the emotions it brings ( from proms to AP’s), applications, visits and rejections for college and then picking a college are all concentrated into a 6 month span. No wonder any of us are left standing.</p>

<p>okay, okay…the tattered velveteen rabbit just did me in.</p>

<p>berurah: better copy the dvd because you will wear it out :)</p>

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<p>^^^ Ah, Sax, add into that those of us who are also caring for aging parents (mom w/ early-onset alzheimer’s lives with us), and my knees are getting bruised (metaphorically speaking) from all the praying I’ve been doing just asking God to help me hold it all together. I get goofy teary when I see my son’s dirty socks behind the family room chair, but, thank goodness, that only lasts a second as I holler, "How many times do I have to ask you (fill in the blank) …!!|</p>

<p>zebes, watching the first graduation congratulation cards arrive in the mailbox.</p>

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<p>

<strong><em>DITTO</em></strong>!!!</p>

<p>

She made one for D, one for her son, and one for me!!! :D</p>

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<p>zebes and others: strength to you for caring for elderly mom’s and dad’s. Sadly, I am past that. </p>

<p>berurah: I would be playing that dvd on a loop oh…for the next 3-4 months :)</p>

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<p>The moment came when we were about to leave my oldest S at his dorm room on drop-off day. Understand that he was basically at war with his mother for 18 years - over pretty much everything. Two divergent personalities - a mother who was educated in a strict catholic school and believed in rules and hard work, and a son who bristeld against any form of parental supervision. Anyway, as we’re leaving to go home, my wife hugs him - and he absolutely won’t let go. My goodness, did the tears flow. They’re threatening to flow again as I write this. Our youngest S, who has always been his mother’s pet, is a year away from college, and I can’t begin to imagine what that day will be like .</p>

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<p>Totally OT, but I get your screen name “FireBadTreePretty,” and I always feel as though I’m two steps behind on jokes … ya know, one of those people who start laughing a week later because I finally got the Far Side my kids’ gleefully subject me to. At least I think I get it … Buffy, right?</p>

<p>zebes, now wondering if I don’t get it after all. Such a complex I have. Geesh!</p>

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<p>alright firebad…got me again. This thread is killing me. Time to go out and kill some weeds or something.:)</p>

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<p>Zebes -you got it. It’s a quote from Buffy, and it deals with that moment in a really hard day when your brain is no longer working at its higher functions, and your thought process is pretty much reduced to “Fire bad. Tree pretty.” For me it comes about 5:30 pm each day. Sooner if I read the politcial posts on CC.</p>

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<p>Thanx! FBTP … :slight_smile: Surprising how little is needed to get me excited. <g></g></p>

<p>Zebes</p>