<p>Back to the slide shows, I plan to do one for my D. Two songs I have chosen are I knew I loved you before I met you, by savage garden and My wish by rascal flatts. I need to find a funny one as well, still deciding. I want to also do a quilt but have had trouble stealing her shirts, finally decided to let her choose so she doesn’t get upset. It won’t be a surprise but …</p>
<p>I think it would be cool to take a year to hone a skill like aerial dance</p>
<p>S would love to take a year to do something other than work - he is not likely to get anything other than bagging or clerking in a grocery store or washing dishes. But it would teach him how “valuable” money is and that this huge expense for his education is no small feat, and that in addition he should contribute to it as much as possible.</p>
<p>But I have mixed feelings about having him sit out a year too. He may get involved with a girl and/or lose all motivation to move into a different and new life. A GAP year, to my mind, would be best spent learning a new skill, accomplishing a project, or doing community service. so…</p>
<p>we will have a plan, one way or another , by next Wednesday</p>
<p>I suggested to her living at home, taking classes at our local CC, and continuing with aerial. But if she got some credits, would she be eligible for any merit aid if she applied for college next year?</p>
<p>Or, she could work, live at home, and work on aerial. But what jobs are there available for a HS grad? Actually, she also won a regional competition in culinary arts. So maybe she could bake for a year …</p>
<p>She doesn’t bite at any of these suggestions, so I’m not sure if she thinks I’m kidding or she really is looking forward to college after all …</p>
<p>I can actually feel all the emotions on this board through my monitor! The highs–historytwins make a choice! The lows–cpeltz’s S all dark and grumbly! I’ve been weepy all week between D’s “it’s real” moment at accepted students day and her 18th birthday. Now I’m getting all emotional for kids I’ve never met!</p>
<p>For parents of swimmers looking for a slide show song (I know, that’s a pretty specific niche) Loudon Wainwright does a very sweet song called “That’s My Daughter in the Water” that we used at the swim banquet.</p>
<p>Zetesis
If she deferred enrollment (that is she decided she wanted to go to a certain school and committed to it - but would take an extra year before enrolling), if she took classes at the CC she would not take them for credit (well she could take them for credit but she would not be able to transfer them) I don’t know how all schools operate with regard to merit awards. I don’t know if the awards stay the same if you defer, or if you transfer if you are not eligible, or what. You would need to inquire of the schools (as I just did) to see what your best options are.</p>
<h1>theorymom, a gap year can be a good thing. My son did well with a gap year. It wasn’t easy as part of it was devoted to SATs and college applications and part to surgery and recovery from it, but he is working on completing his novel and on reading fluency. Then comes travel. But, I think having a real job is not a bad thing – kids learn why taking college seriously is important.</h1>
<p>Rachacha, that’s so sad. 
I hate hearing these stories.</p>
<p>Parents you’ve been chatty today!</p>
<p>Historymom, would you ever have guessed this would be how things would turn out? I think it is so cool. You really encouraged them to find their own way and they have…I bet their relationship is stronger because of it. CONGRATS!</p>
<p>d and bf just left the house for prom, being held at a Marriott on the ocean. d had a brief meltdown and I told her good get that out of the way early on, now the whole night will be relaxed and wonderful…they looked so grown up, and so sweet together…</p>
<p>I took tons of pics and video and…well its hard for me…noone to share the joy and the tears with…then I remembered you guys.</p>
<p>lindz126–makes me wish we could post pictures on here-would love to see yours. My S continues to forget to find out where his is being held and when it starts. Also, is having friends over after for a few hours but he and GF have not sent the invitations yet. Enjoy your D, it was loads of fun when mine went to prom and I loved seeing all of them dressed up and so formal.</p>
<p>aww, lindz, what a great story! It’s amazing to see them looking so poised and beautiful, isn’t it? Sounds like you like the bf, too, which makes for a easier evening for you!</p>
<p>cpeltz, re graduation presents for boys. I think my son said he didn’t want anything for graduation and I think we didn’t get him anything. However, he wanted to go to Bonnaroo (a music festival in Tennessee) with his friends and we gave him the money that he needed for that trip. For this year’s birthday, he first said nothing and then 3 pairs of ipod earphones that are not expensive so he won’t feel bad when he loses them.</p>
<p>you got a good kid there Shawbridge</p>
<p>thanks oregon-and chintzy-yes it would be fun to post pics. my son was pretty laid back about prom last year, but did go…was much more of an event for my daughter.</p>
<p>lindz, don’t forget to give us all the post-Prom report. </p>
<p>As for graduation presents, we will just do the laptop, a book, and money (and maybe the pillowcase idea). The laptop is the practical gift, the book is the sentimental gift, and money is the gift of trust. I bought S1 his first comprehensive cookbook (Good Housekeeping) when he turned 21, the kind with an index that tells you how to cook anything. I used to give The Richest Man in Babylon to all of my interns at the end of the summer. I haven’t decided yet on S2’s graduation book, but I will give it a lot of thought and thoroughly enjoy the choosing.</p>
<p>I call money the gift of trust, because when we give the kids money we trust they won’t spend it (any time soon) or invest it foolishly. So far both kids have been remarkably wise stewards of their savings. Of course, they have been brought up with explicit spending and savings rules since the age of five, so no real risk that at 18 or 21 they would suddenly throw all that training out the window, but one never really knows with a teen or young adult. But, it’s all part of letting go, letting them take their own risks, make their own mistakes, and grow their independence.</p>
<p>Of course, the best gifts don’t need to cost much. When I graduated from high school my mother gave me pierced ears as her gift. I was 17 and we had no money at all. The piercing was free, except for the cost of the posts, which was around $5 at the time (cheapest ones they had). She told me it was something I would always remember and she was right.</p>
<p>Just feeling the need for a quick “shout-out” to CC for helping keep me sane over the past year. Winding down to decision time: saw Brown this week and DS liked it despite the 2 days of rain. DS is an under-reactor so is not doing backflips, but that’s him. He realizes no place will be perfect…just like life. I observed over this process the following: we hear so often “college is what you make of it”–well, perhaps this is the motto that could be spoken as each baby is born “life is what you make of it”, “marriage is what you make of it”; “your job is what you make of it.” Just an observation. DS knows he is extremely fortunate to have good choices and knows to appreciate especially his Dad as DH is very practical and can’t see the logic in this expense. I have been heartened by DH’s love and generosity in letting DS choose his own path. We want him to decide right now, but he’s dragging it out just a bit. Reading of everyone else’s rollercoaster ride has been like a latern illuminating my path in this maze. Thanks all.</p>
<p>Personal gifts are great. I am making a cd of meaningful songs that D2 can listen to. Ones that inspire, ones that make her dance, ones that remind her of special events, one that reminds her of home, etc. You get the picture! 
I am also doing the quilt thing. It will have shirts of activities that she participated in and old jerseys from sports. When she is out of school I will do the quilt with some of her baby clothes and some small quilt patches from my grandmother. I hope that she can then hand it down to her children.</p>
<p>Awesome ideas here for gifts, etc.! I’m admiring the crafty moms and the attempting-to-crafty. I’m not up to even that (although if it was my daughter going away, I think she’d appreciate it & I’d do it.). Son would most like what Shawbridge’s son would – multiple ipod earphones (great idea) and funding the cost of attendance to a music event w/friends.</p>
<p>Also–heartfelt congrats on the decisions!!!</p>
<p>MiV- same here
having this “place” to go and read and share has been a lifesaver.
congrats on your S’s great choices and for raising him to have such a great atttitude</p>
<p>Oh yeah, CC is such a helpful resource for parents going through almost exactly the same thing! Not to mention being a wealth of info…!!!</p>
<p>Jolynne–yes I’m in awe of the crafters here. Not so with me. I made a big collage/scrap book of middle school for DS, but do not see myself getting it together for high school years, especially with helping to organize the all night grad party. Plus, DS just doesn’t have that appreciation gene for the heartwarming gifts, so it really would be more for me than him!</p>