<p>My poor son is having a heck of a time with his decision, but we just had a along talk, and at least I feel better! He’s trying to decide where he’ll be happiest and says he knows he’ll get a good education at either school. We’ve offered to do another last minute trip back east since he only spent a couple hours at one of the schools, but he says he doesn’t need to. </p>
<p>Looks like I might be the last decision on our board, but either choice is a good one, and there’s only a few days to go. Thank goodness for wine.</p>
<p>cpeltz–don’t worry; things aren’t final at our house. Son still has state U in the picture he says. I also offered to go up to state U w/him (or have him go w/friends) for a last visit. He also said no, would rather earn $ this weekend on home biz & helping friend in biz.</p>
<p>Deep breathing should help us, I think. And, positive visualization…! <picturing kids=“” all=“” happy=“” at=“” their=“” respective=“” schools=“”></picturing></p>
<p>While S <em>has</em> made a decision, we may be the last to decide if he will actually go to school next year. He is SO far behind in English class I am not sure he will catch up. This will be a hard life lesson for him if he doesn’t. He stayed home instead of the tennis match today, ostensibly to work on his English, and he is…but in between a bunch of other distractions that he refuses to turn off (TV, iPod, gamers who he is helping fix some game) He has THE worst study habits. However they don’t seem to bother him too much when it is work he wants to do. Regardless, I am beginning to give up hope that this past 6 months has not all been for naught. His plans next year may end up being, finishing his English requirement (or taking the GED which is what he should have done to begin with - no writing requirement there) and starting all over again. If that happens, there is a very good chance the school he wants will not want him and that will be a pretty darn hard pill to swallow.</p>
<p>Oh #theorymom- I can just feel the worry in your post. I would get the helicopter blades turning if I were you. That English req MUST BE DONE!!
cpeltz- LOL re: Indecision 2009.</p>
<p>Well after shopping for a few hours in NYC this AM, D decided she can wear one of the 2 Betsey Johnson dresses she bought last year for her then “more active” social season.
No one asked her to the prom this year and so she is going with a crowd of her single girlfriends. Does anyone have a son they could lend for a tall, thin, gorgeous and funny brunette? I look at her and can’t figure out why our door isn’t being knocked down. I know, I’m her mom and I think she’s wonderful but there are SO many girls in her school in her situation. For heaven’s sake, it’s just a date!</p>
<h1>TM, I can so relate to the crummy study habits, but have faith…your S has done well enough to have some great choices, and he’ll do what he needs to do. It’s so frustrating when we know how much easier it could be for them with just a little more effort, but they have to learn the lesson themselves I guess. Is it all work that he needs to catch up on, or are some things over his head? It must be making you absolutely nuts.</h1>
<p>Jolynne, now your S has added another school? ARGH.</p>
<p>Well, we may have a two-way competition for dead-last here!</p>
<p>Woody
wished we lived near
My S would volunteer
The girl he was going to ask to prom got asked by someone else while he was away at WPI (yes he leaves EVERYTHING to the last minute) then yesterday he had a voice competition which he rushed back from in order to buy a long stemmed rose to offer his plan B (who broke up with her BF last week so he wanted to give her a while before swooping in) He was decked out in his tux from the competition and wanted to walk into school and make the request in his tux with the rose… But she was not in school that day, and today the rose is wilted and she does not answer her phone messages (not sure if she is avoiding calls not wanting to be asked or phone is on the fritz) sigh
His Plan B girl was his first choice last year but once again he had left it too long and she was asked by someone else. It gets complicated eh? Last year the girl who he finally asked and who accepted was not allowed to go (a freshman) so he went alone. I see that potentially happening again. Nothing but disappointment around here today - sorry all, don’t mean to be a downer</p>
<p>I so hear you, too, #theorymom. Son is in a similar ‘behind the 8 ball’ position re: school work (at least he’s doing it, finally, tho it took some grounding to get there). Just a way too familiar position to be in. . </p>
<p>It will work out, though. Hub took away video games fm son; that seemed to help…</p>
<p>cpeltz–well, after I did a spreadsheet of ultimate loans accrued for every school – state U w/only $13k vs $116k for OOS first choice suddenly looked better to son, I think. </p>
<p>Jolynne, sounds like your S has his head on straight about his options. Maybe the reason our boys are drawing out the decision is one last chance to torment mom? ;)</p>
<p>I just reminded son that he needs to make sure he has decent grades…no D’s at a minimum. He asked “why?” Senioritis is much worse than I expected.</p>
<p>Last fall, when D was trying to keep up her heavy course load AND do college apps, etc. etc., we worked out an agreement where we blocked her access to the internet for periods of time. So many distractions (YouTube, Facebook, etc.) – and she knows it.</p>
<p>Well #TM, sorry to hear about that. My son had to turn on the afterburners last year to graduate and I didn’t think he was going to make it. He was still so fatigued from a combination of sleep apnea, read/writing, catching up in BC Calc, AP Physics, English and something else (Art?) after putting his all into Moot Court. Somehow, he made it. But, it was a tiring effort and he was willing to accept a fair bit of guidance (and help as appropriate). So, it is possible. There was lots of video-game playing during that period as he said it helped him reenergize. I was never completely clear on that. We brought in a tutor for math/physics and someone who just helped organize him to get the work done. In our house, they won’t listen to Mom at this point and will listen to me somewhat but on stressful things, an outside person can make a difference. Could you do that? [We knew them already as the tutor had taught him math the year before.]</p>
<p>I’d volunteer my son for woody’s daughter. He’s tall (at least 6’4" and quite broad), bright, funny and a really sweet kid. His last date was to his senior prom last year with a very nice girl similar to your daughter. </p>
<p>My sense is that a lot of the guys are scared to ask. The athletes who are “Joe Cool” ask, but the sweet studious types often don’t. And the girls at this age may not know how to signal effectively. I was a year or so younger than my HS class and grew a fair bit in my last two years of HS. So, probably like my son, I was tall, bright, sweet and not entirely socially clued in. After the graduation ceremony, I was saying goodbye to a girl I’d known and been somewhat friendly with. Not the best student, very nice kid, very pretty and would be hot in today’s jargon. I’m sure I would have been afraid about asking her for a date. As I was saying goodbye, she pulled me in to a fairly intense kiss and as I was catching my breath, said something, a little sarcastically, about me not noticing and something about me going off to Princeton. I didn’t date hardly at all in HS and was kind of blown away by this so I must admit I wasn’t entirely clear on what she was saying – just that I’d had an intense kiss with a girl I had always found very attractive who was somehow angry with me. If there had been clues, I missed them entirely. A few years later, I became able to observe at least the most obvious of such clues. I doubt one can coach the guys – we’re pretty dense at that age. Could the girls do anything differently?</p>
<p>ugh - Senioritis is the pits! My DS was unfortunately laid off from his restaurant job two months ago and I decided to give him a break so told him not to find anything for a month… well, mr procrastinator is moving like a slug… grades are ok but one class slipped… he would rather spend time w/ ipod & facebook & sleeping. We really need his contribution $$ that he’d earn between now & school start… UGH! I don’t think he gets it. I am sooooo going to take that keyboard away. and PROM? ha… he keeps saying he’ll do something about it but doesn’t seem to be (date is May 30) - Last minute I am sure. He missed out on the Jr Prom last year because he was so indecisive - guess he didn’t learn his lesson.</p>
<p>woody, one of the things that happens at our school is many of the senior guys ask a junior girl (or in my son’s case a sophomore girl!). That leaves the senior girls stranded. However, they do get to be top of the heap again next year as freshman in college, while the guys are out in the cold. My third year son says the freshman girls are definitely the “hottest” and he is dating a freshman now. I remember him bemoaning the fact that he couldn’t get a second look when he was a freshman because all the girls were dating older guys. </p>
<p>H and S2 just got back from their engineering visitation at WVU. Both had a great time. They have somebody on staff at WVU whose sole job is to recruit kids to become engineering majors using grant money from the National Science Foundation. Very friendly and welcoming. H did say the students aren’t as polished and preppy looking as the UVA engineering students, tending to be a little overweight. I sure hope S2 doesn’t gain weight. Right now he is big but still in good shape from football and basketball. However, a lot of pizza and no exercise could turn the tide on him pretty fast. </p>
<p>The other alarming report was a lack of emphasis on the need for computers. H said he was told they weren’t really necessary and could actually be a distraction to the students. That got me extremely upset because I can’t imagine school without a computer anymore than school without a textbook. I was ready to tell my son, that’s it, you are going to community college next year and we are going to try this again. But, S2 assured me his dad was exagerating. They use computers everywhere, but a lot of students can’t afford them so they have computer labs and things. I’m still very rattled by that comment and now wish I had gone on this trip myself. However, we have no other schools to which S applied, S still loves everything about the school and can’t wait to go there so I guess I will just have to sip my wine and get over it.</p>
<p>Blocking the internet: We actually have a program we can use to selectively block access to some sites, but allow it to others… It isn’t foolproof, but it helps.</p>
<p>Shawbridge - your story is a so touching - what a wonderful memory! It’s like a scene from a coming-of-age movie. And BTW, 6"4’ is PERFECT! ( her brother is 6’6"!)
Could the girls do anything differently - well, she is not shy but is absolutely not in your face either. Hmmm…</p>
<p>The Analyst - Oh yes, she is certainly looking forward to meeting some new guys next year.</p>
<h1>Tm I feel your anxiety too. So sorry. Don’t know what to give you but support. ((((((hugs)))))))</h1>
<p>cpeltz you too. at least you know he has given it a lot of thought right? Looking forward to hearing your triumphant “It’s ______________!” announcement next week.</p>
<p>Today I had a cleansing ritual. We have been storing all college related communications in a file box which the girls dubbed “The College Box of Knowledge.” I emptied the sucker and said good bye to the roads not taken. Kind of like in Survivor when the final three go on the walk and say nice things about those who have been voted off ahead of them (right before hey burn up their name in a final cermonial bonfire) only just dumped them in the recycling bin :)</p>
<p>The senioritis bug has hit here too, D is not very much into her last track season at all, she is just considering it as helping to build up a good base for her summer XC training, doesn’t want to do any of the post-season stuff at all, she is just leaving that to the younger teammates. Comes home from practice and goes up to her cave…</p>
<p>Sorry to hear all of the anguish regarding prom dates. Here there is no pressure to “pair off” at all, the majority go in groups, and you don’t go as a couple unless you are steadily dating…</p>
<p>TheAnalyst–that is so interesting–had almost the same experience re: computers during son’s visit w/a computer sci prof at U of AL. At end of meeting, son asked casually what type of laptop is recommended. The prof chatted a bit about computer type things then said, “if you don’t have a laptop, it’s not the end of the world.” (something to that effect).</p>
<p>My reaction was the same as yours – what the? No laptop in a computer science major? I know they have computer labs, but I thought (& I’m not techy by any means) that a laptop was pretty indispensible for any college student, not to mention a comp sci major! I think he was trying to make it okay if we couldn’t afford one (he may have thought?) but it was a little disconcerting.</p>
<p>And, ironically, over-use of computer (facebook, etc.) is the last thing standing in the way of son’s effeciency this marking period. Although, w/out the games & friends (!) he’s doing much better (needs to). He gets points for working 12 hours yesterday at home biz + helping friend in his biz. (trying to stay focused on positive!!).</p>