<p>We kept everything from schools where S1 was accepted, as well as materials from schools S1 visited that S2 might also consider. Thought some of the “process” might be useful for S2 to see, including the manila folder with dozens of essay drafts. I am also a sentimental historian who wants to save every scrap of S1’s last year at home (sniff). DH looked at the boxes and said, “Are you saving all this for his biographer or something?” He seems to have forgotten all the boxes in the basement with HIS papers, waiting for posterity! ;)</p>
<p>We weighed S1’s college junk mail – 124 lbs. by the end of senior year. He weighed 120 at the time. S2 has a big box of schools he’s considering and a paper bag of stuff that’s going to get weighed, recorded and put out for recycling.</p>
<p>Sorry #TM that you and S are having so much anxiety. It is hard to know sometimes when to let them suffer the natural consequences of a decision, and when to step in. </p>
<p>D2 tends to be more the typical teenager popping between My Space, Face Book and Texting, as well as other computer distractions. Her grades have suffered and H limited her internet to one hour a day, and took away the texting. I know she is aware of the limitations that bad grades will cause since she has been going to college talks w/ D1 and I for over a year, so I am less inclined to do the lecture and punishment business, and more just reminding her how much she has to lose. H is a different story however, which has caused some discussions around here.</p>
<p>My H and I don’t get out much because my Alzheimers mother lives with us, but we had the caregiver stay late on Friday, and had a “Business” dinner meeting. My mother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point that we need to look into long-term care facilities, and we have learned that none of the nicer ones will take her because she is “medically complicated.” She has some other medical issues besides the Alzheimers and they don’t want to take a chance. The one place that would take her is dirty, and in need of remodeling, which is slated for the next few months, so I don’t want to have her there. I finally found one that is geographically farther than I had hoped, but we will know tomorrow if they think they could accomodate her medical issues.</p>
<p>We are definitly feeling like we are stuck without a lot of options, and that never feels good. Hopefully we can express that frustration to D2, so she is not stuck without a lot of options in a couple of years.</p>
<p>Much of the college info we recieved have been recycled all along, but we also purged after the offer acceptance/rejection letters were sent. It was definitly a last goodbye to some great schools. Decisions, no wonder they are so hard to make.</p>
<p>Finally said 'bye (by email) to three schools that had been on the orginal list. So sad, they seemed like old friends after all these months. </p>
<p>S has been pondering his top 2 and this afternoon he finally verbalized a preference. We started filling out all the paperwork, but will not send it in until we all sleep on the decision. </p>
<p>I am in no way certain that this choice won’t change before May 1!</p>
<p>this intended for anyone special at all–but one thing to remember as your D and S sends their regrets to a school is that you might want to leave the door open. Both D and S managed to write very lovely letters of regret to their #2 and #3 schools and most of them told D and S that they would keep their merit $$ and acceptance open for a year and thanked them for their letter.</p>
<p>Counting Down LOL at weighing the materials. Those math/computer kids! And the fact that it outweighted him is even better. </p>
<p>DS has been a very different kind of student than his sisters, and though he has shown some awesome progress in 8th grade. I think his interests will take him in the big public direction. I don’t think he will be drawn to the same type but do think a couple of the girls’ school may be decent matches for him so we shall see.</p>
<p>I’m catching up on reading some parent views of this college process. Thanks for sharing so many aspects of your own lives. My daughter had some senioritis that was starting to hit its peak at the end of March, but then her reach school waitlisted her (Columbia) and that seemed to put a spark into her academic step again. By 3Q she had all A’s in 5 AP classes … schwew. But best of all, this week her top school that accepted her came through w/ merit aid, which made the decision suddenly super easy, and upbeat from my husband’s point of view. Enjoy your S/D proms, graduation planning, and final choices … It’s too bad there isn’t a CC parent group on facebook or Skype so we could all share an e-glass of wine together. Congrats to all … the parents and kids have worked very hard to get to this point.</p>
<p>Notes are going out to all S’s schools, personally thanking by name the people that met with him or auditioned him and asking them to release his awards to another worthy student. The note states what a difficult decision it has been. Most of these notes will go in his files, and some schools keep them for 2 years and have mentioned that they would reopen his file if he should reapply. We have still not sent in “the” acceptance. Still working out some things here. And we may indeed be revisiting applying to some of these schools in the future. I fervently hope we will be sending in a housing deposit in a few days. Will let you know when/if we do.</p>
<p>My son signed his letters to those five schools that will not receive his deposit and placed them in the mail. His letters were detailed, explaining why he chose a particular school, but that their offers of admission were quite tempting and humbling. Some might question why these kids should write these letters, but I came up with different reasons. One is that we live in a small community, and a letter from my son, even though he is not attending, might help another kid who applies later. The second is that he has a younger brother who might be interested in those schools. The third is that some of the schools he rejected have outstanding law or business schools, and he might want to attend those later. A thank you note can go a long way.</p>
<p>There is a cute senior boy in Son’s limo group who doesn’t have a date. I think that is just a travesty! Son said, “Mom, please don’t get involved.”</p>
Ah, but in heart of a teen boy that can be so daunting. It seems so ironic to me that having seen what hash men have made of running the world we still assume they should have the lead on the dating scene. Wouldn’t this all work out better if the girls organized it? And in fact in many communities I think that is what de facto happens and all benefit. At least it seems that my son was asked or prompted to ask by forward thinking girls…and for my daughter one exec-to-be seems to organize a group and round up the reluctant boys and announce who would be happy to go with them and they all go off in an amiable herd vaguely identified as “with” someone but no one actually pairs up in the ways we fear. Evolution is just slow I guess. At least we have evolved so that those unasked can and do go in groups and get to do the important thing (buy a dress, do hair) and by our age the most painful elements have faded and a few fond memories remain.</p>
<p>My son used to go to dances in middle school in which the boys were somewhat scattered around the room and the girls would travel in clumps led by an alpha girl who would walk over to the boy and say, “My friend Kat would like to dance with you” or “You should dance with my friend Kat.” Then he’d be paired off with Kat for the night.</p>
<p>At my son’s senior prom, a male friend of his, who is a very nice kid but doesn’t talk in groups, was unpaired. A girl down the street who he’s know since kindergarten but in his opinion grew a little weird over the years – some psychological dynamics – was also unpaired. He suggested to each that they go with the other and both were very pleased. However, it turned out that the girl was more interested in girls and left the guy on his own for much of the prom.</p>
<p>I was good friends with a boy who I expected to ask me to prom. We worked together, went out to movies, dancing, and hung out all the time. He apologetically told me the reason he couldn’t take me was essentially because I wasn’t cool enough for such a high profile date with him. He had a red mustang convertible, played football, etc. and took one of the cute, eye-candy cheerleaders. </p>
<p>I think I looked decent in high school (long straight hair, no glasses, thin, average height, played field hockey). But I was not one of the cool kids and prom was just another event to emphasize that fact, lest I kid myself and forget. I ended up going with the first board of the chess team. It is not a pleasant memory. </p>
<p>Speaking of cheerleaders, one of S2’s friends made the cheerleading squad at Virginia Tech, which despite some of my feelings about cheerleaders is something even I find impressive. This girl never cheered for the high school (which was definitely a loss for the school), but did competitive cheering year round.</p>
<p>Just catching up as I’ve been away from the computer for a few days. </p>
<p>Congrats to all whose D or S has chosen a school.</p>
<p>For prom I will say that someone MUST be organizing it for my D’s group. Not sure how it all worked but she knew a couple of months prior to the boy actually asking who was going to ask her and it was common knowledge. She and this boy are not a couple – just friends. She even knew (via the grapevine I guess) when he was going to ask. Seemed like he had it planned out. I will say that I don’t think this boy has ever been on a date. Did not go to the jr. prom. It may have been that he just needed to talk it out with D’s friends. At one point I told my D to just tell him that she would go with him before he asked. She wouldn’t. Seemed that she wanted him to go through the chore or asking. Still several weeks here before the “ball”.</p>
<p>After seeing my daughter go to prom with a group of similarly dateless senior girls (all quite attractive), I was very happy to see son got the message. He’s pretty shy, though - no fancy asking - just a simple “Will you go to Prom with me?” while they were in the hall during class change.</p>
<p>I don’t think D’s BF ever asked her to the prom–he’s way too low key. She has a dress and he has a tux, so it’s on, but I think she would have loved one of those elaborate invites. </p>
<p>I’ve got my travel arrangements made for drop off/orientation in August, Family Weekend in October, but I’m in a quandary about Thanksgiving. I know what day classes end, but I don’t know what time. She doesn’t register for classes until August. Should I just go ahead and book a late afternoon flight to be safe?</p>
<p>I for one am glad that folks feel comfortable going in groups with their friends rather than pairing off. At my HS it was male/female dates only, and it reinforced the social hierarchy. Needless to say, as a tall, geeky Yankee girl in the 70s in the south, I did not have a date!</p>
<p>S2 and GF are splitting costs (except for clothes) down the middle – but they do that all the time anyway. She and S2 have a pretty practical bent. They haven’t decided what they’re doing after the prom yet. Suspect they’d like nothing more than to come back to our house and hang out, but I don’t think I want to chaperone that!</p>
<p>cue eerie music…CountingDown I was just on their site! I love Southwest, but they don’t serve the airport nearest D, and the shuttle to a farther out airport is pretty pricey.</p>
I will say that I don’t think this boy has ever been on a date. Did not go to the jr. prom. It may have been that he just needed to talk it out with D’s friends. At one point I told my D to just tell him that she would go with him before he asked. She wouldn’t. Seemed that she wanted him to go through the chore or asking. Still several weeks here before the “ball”.</p>