<p>Well, these days a “mobile meth lab” could easily be a 2 liter pop bottle. (Yup. The new, anyone can do it home meth brew kit, according to a public health presentation I heard.)</p>
<p>You wonder at the parenting…and then you think, there but for the grace of God…</p>
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<p>Aint that the truth… Scary world where it can unravel in a heartbeat even with the best of intentions. I TRY not to blame parents too much because I know I’ve tried to be vigilant and responsive, but my kids have not been without mistakes in which I honestly believed I had taught them better. And it is also true that they don’t always agree with my values right now (although I see where my oldest has circled back after some previous rejection so there’s hope!). At the same time… I find some relief in having had plenty of experience of kids coming to me to be helpful to someone who was sick - whether it was as a chaperone or in my own house. And I’ve had success where all three of my kids have called under my “call anytime at any hour and we will come without question.” In the end, I think I could have done a lot of things differently and better, but I did the best I knew at the time and that includes the present. </p>
<p>I could do “On one hand… but on the other…” until I’m a centipede, let alone an octopus! 
I just don’t think you ever really know if you did it right (or right enough) until … well, I just don’t know. I am sure Bernie Madoff’s mother would have felt some degree of guilt for whatever she did or didn’t do that resulted in such a selfish corrupt character, but before that, she must have been so incredibly proud. Same with someone like Lance Armstrong. </p>
<p>So here’s a question… What age do the “kids” need to be so society lets their parents fully and completely off the hook for any and all “stupidity” of their offspring?</p>
<p>^100 ;)</p>
<p>Cq, that full circle thing for your d is so cool! I get that feeling when I go to campus performances. When mcson was a jr, we visited his school, had the tour, sat through some performances, then again in sr yr with auditions, stewing the whole time that this place was out of reach 
so it’s neat to sit in that auditorium now!</p>
<p>I have to admit that story of the party plays on my own fears of ever waking up to find a kid in the pool house with alcohol poisoning, which is why I go out and have a drink with them now and then during parties to see whether anyone has been “over served.” I realize the whole meth lab thing brings a whole different level of risk, but as a teen I was once at a bush party where someone died from alcohol poisoning and the horror of it has stuck with me.
Mcson’s parties tend to be small, and one of his friends doesn’t drink at all, but last year there was one friend who drank enough to get sick. We all had a big talk about alcohol poisoning after that and at least that kid dials it down a notch now – at least when he’s here. He’s legal and lives on his own, so there’s not much more you can do. With the hot tub, it’s easy to get drunker than you mean to if you soak too long and drink at a certain pace. Mcson is decent at policing things in general, but it can be a big job. I think that’s why he’s strict about who he invites – so he can relax and enjoy himself That said, it’s still my property and my liability so I generally lurk about during parties. A little lurking goes a long way, even with supposedly smart yet in their minds indestructible college kids!</p>
<p>CC wont let me give points to moda, so I will just say right out here that is a fantastic post. I can’t help thinking that while there are some parents who wouldn’t know/care this kind of thing or something similar happens even under good parenting. That’s actually even more scary.The question at the end of the post…the older my kids get, the older I get and the more I learn,the less inclined I am to think it’s the fault of the parents.</p>
<p>It’s been days since I’ve added to anyones little green squares and it won’t let me add any if I have already done so. I typically only hang out here so don’t get into the nasty other forums Maybe that’s why…</p>
<p>I’ll give Moda points on both our behalf, FallGirl. </p>
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<p>Never. Since living on his own, S has done several stupid things (or at least I consider them stupid), one of which could have resulted in his death. His facebook and twitter accounts (before he completely blocked me from them) were littered with evidence of his stupidity and blame directed toward me. What was worse was H’s family had access to him through social media and I truly think bought into the “sabaray is a terrible mother” scenario. At times, both of my children have made statements which essentially “blamed” parenting for their decisions/poor judgment; at times, D was afraid to make decisions unless she had the “but you told me to” excuse to fall back on. With S, it was anything sabaray says, I’m going to do the opposite and lie about what she said. I probably need to drink more coffee! In short, I think social media and internet media in general perpetuates the idea that parents are perennially responsible - at least in the eyes of the general public. </p>
<p>My followup question to that would be when do we let ourselves be off the hook for any and all stupidity? I’m still working on that one.</p>
<p>I think the mobile meth lab was in a milk crate. The neighbor girl who was interviewed on TV said that “everyone knew” that drugs were being sold over there. As more comes out, the host was a young adult (HS class of '08) living with his single dad. The dad probably purposely ignored the comings and goings.</p>
<p>Even if the scene is sounding seedier and seedier, I hate for parents to let ourselves off the hook because “it couldn’t happen” to one of our kids. The HS of the deceased is the “big mum” HS, lots of wealth and “good families.” My guess is that the two kids were inexperienced in heavy drug use…Xanax and pot before they went to the house, perhaps meth and heroin once they got there…I know so little, but it sounds like a combination that is hard to survive.</p>
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That is what is essential - a host who isn’t almost as wasted as the kids who are in trouble. We all know that teens/young adults can exercise pretty poor judgment, so one can only imagine how poor the judgment of a drug/alcohol impaired kid can be.</p>
<p>Enough scary stuff for the morning. Younger D’s second semester starts today. Amazingly, H and Son got a lot of the putting away work done yesterday. The house is almost under control.</p>
<p>Here’s a college related matter to share: an acquaintance of older D’s - about to be in her 2nd semester of sophomore year - will be starting her 4th college in as many semesters! She wasn’t a flake. Her parents moved and she chose a school to be near them, didn’t like it, went to the local cc, then to the school back here where she orignally wanted to go, missed her family, is trying another school near her family. Jeez.</p>
<p>Just checking in… Missy, what a very sad story! Makes you almost cry… </p>
<p>My D who broke her leg in 3 places had the surgery on Jan 2nd. Her ACL was not torn evidently, which I understand is a good thing… She has started going to Physical Therapy, don’t know when she can go back to work… it is her right leg, so makes it difficult to drive… Daughter #2, college grad, flew back to CA on Sunday with her significant other… Daughter #3 is supposed to go back to college around the 20th (with her cat) S goes back to college on January 22nd, then H & I have empty nest again. :)</p>
<p>I have just started participating in giving out the green! 
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<p>Congrats to you 'Bama fans!</p>
<p>Good Morning! Hives are finally under control. Thank heavens.
So sad about kids dying and taking drugs. So very frightening. My girls are not really drinkers and D2’s BF doesn’t drink at all. Still scares me.</p>
<p>D2 has been working full time over break and seems ready to be done with school. Funny that she has another year to go but half of the year will be a paid internship. We asked her again if she wanted to get an apartment after graduation but she is adamant about coming home. I think we will have a hard time getting her to go out on her own until she gets married! ;)</p>
<p>Forgot to say D2 is regretting not doing a study abroad. Many of her friends are doing a January term out of the country. She thought of doing a class in Thailand with a few friends but she already had that course credit. Another friend is just traveling through Europe staying in hostels and seeing the sights. D2 would love the traveling but could never stay in hostels. She is now trying to talk us in to going some place warm over spring break.</p>
<p>We had a conversation about this at dinner last night, with S1 and S2, but more in the context of what one should do if they observe one’s friends passed out. S1 asked me if I realized how much alcohol and drug awareness he’d had, between HS and college. He also said that several college acquaintances had been hauled to the hospital by ambulance for being in unconscious state. He reassured me that he had never been one of those kids and would know to pick up the phone. (DH picked that time to tell an inappropriate college hazing kind of story and I wanted to kick him.) Anyway, S2, our HS senior, listened quietly. I worry more about him since he’s the youngest and has been privy to his older sib’s stories. He’s also been more open to the suggestion of experimentation. I’ll leave it at that. We talked about the basics, how it was possible to get to the lethal limit of alcohol poisoning without even knowing it, how other substances could lower the lethal threshold, and so on.</p>
<p>Like Shaw, I think we’re beyond the phone call stage with the 22 yo, and 21 yo. But as long as youngster is home, I feel completely responsible for his actions. Heck, just this morning as he was leaving the house at 6:15 AM I was instructing him on one aspect of driving in the dark on the way to school. </p>
<p>So, I may not hover over the legal adults away as much as the ones staying in my house, but I don’t think the worrying (and the resulting urge to call) will ever go away. Since society is filled with other parents who have those same parental urges, I don’t think that it’s likely to let other parents off the hook, either. D likes to sip a single drink. I worry more that she will be the victim of something slipped into that single drink. But now I’m creating another worry…</p>
<p>NM, glad your hives have retreated.<br>
SLU, hope your d’s leg mends asap!</p>
<p>Thanks, PlantMom, I hope the physical therapy really helps!
I have to get over to her place and see her soon, she lives about an hour away!</p>
<p>I still tell my (soon to be 25 year old son – b’day is Sunday) and D who is 21 to “drive safely” everytime they get behind the wheel that I know about it. One time I didn’t say it S was a senior in HS. He went to vote at the school and when backing out hit a car parked next to him. No real damage done to either car and luckily the person who owned the car worked at the school and told son it was fine – no need to exchange info or anything. S had also lost his cell phone that day. He was fine, car was okay – minor scratching/rubbing, and his cell phone turned up in a neighbors car who he road to school with that day. No real issue but I still say it every time I know they are driving.</p>
<p>Indecision and fear are keeping me from making up my mind on color scheme for new cabin. Have to pick out shingle and window colors which tie in to picking a siding color. This coupled with getting ready to host book club tomorrow night is making me a bit anxious.</p>
<p>I know the feeling, NM. I just had an interior designer come over yesterday to see what might be done with my LR, which has a traffic pattern issue. Unfortunately, H and I are both design-impaired. She seemed to think there were several possibilities that will work well; I’m looking forward to seeing the drawings. </p>
<p>But today’s challenge is moving something – anything – from the “in-progress” pile to the “fully-and-completely done” cabinet. I seem to be waiting on something or somebody else for every single project underway, and I really don’t want to start another one. (I am not kidding – I have 14!!! distinct projects underway. At least a half-dozen will be completed with less than a couple of hours of work once I get the right information.) Which I guess means I ought to clean or declutter or do something useful like that, but I am lacking in motivation on that front.</p>
<p>Confession - It’s 3:16 pm and I am wearing pj’s.</p>
<p>Been there, done that…quite often! :o</p>
<p>^^I just woke up from a three hour nap…</p>
<p>I could say that on plenty of days. Fortunately, or unfortunately, a lot of what I sleep in could pass for yoga wear… the unfortunate part is that I don’t take Yoga (but should).</p>
<p>Went to Dr today who went through the stages of surgery. I really like him but compared to some of the recovery stories I’ve found online, he makes it sound so much less. However, he does seem to think I will be very pleased with the result but is sure to add I look fine how I am. I kind of like his lacking salesmanship. When I asked him about the lines in my cheeks and a filler, he said he won’t even talk to me about it until after a month of this because he thinks I’ll be happy. Says fillers are all about maintenance and making a lot of money for the drug company who makes it.</p>