<p>CQ quite funny. yay for flu shots. Moda hope the swelling isnt too bad</p>
<p>Thinking of you again today, Missy. The day we lose a loved parent is one of the worst days of life. Sending you and your family–especially your mother–my deepest sympathies. As Moda said so beautifully above, I hope that in this sad time you will find some rays of happiness in the beautiful memories you have of your father.</p>
<p>As far as I can tell, I exist and I have an imaginary great assistant.</p>
<p>Heat is back one more time. Tomorrow, work on the heating and HVAC systems will be done, I think. Our problems pale in comparison to real ones, but it is nice to have heat in the winter in Boston.</p>
<p>Mom is dozing in front of the TV, so I took a moment to log on. (She can’t face their bed and has slept so little, whereas I feel terribly sleep deprived.) Y’all are so incredibly, absolutely sweet.</p>
<p>We set a date for the service and chose songs, got little more done. H is in the middle of logistics. Tomorrow will be a fuller day. Sitting around this house makes my head want to explode. Then I think about how Mom is going to be sitting around this house day after day and it makes me so sad.</p>
<p>I think Son is the weepiest of us all. My parents have always been so good to him.</p>
<p>Forgive this entirely self centered post. So fond of you all!</p>
<p>Thanks for checking in,missypie. Hugs to you and your family.</p>
<p>Hoping you can get some rest, missypie.</p>
<p>MP – this is your time (and place) to be as self-centered as you want. I hope you (and your mom) get some real rest.</p>
<p>Did everyone come with you, Missy? I have the distinct impression your parents live north. My dad was remarried, so I wasn’t dealing with my mom, but the hardest part when my dad died was being in his space where you just can’t turn it off. I have a dress shirt of my dad’s… with his monogram on the pocket. I took it from his closet. I rarely, if ever, put it on… but I have never considered making it part of my closet cleaning. My dad died almost 24 years ago and I still find myself missing him a great deal. The thing about a dad suddenly dying is I never saw him decline in bad health. I never got to say goodbye, but the last time I saw my dad was when he was happy and having a great time, being his every so charming and dapper self. </p>
<p>Also… when he first died, I dreamed of him a lot. Like he was gone, we knew he was gone, but he was stopping by for a conversation. I remember trying so hard to stay asleep to talk to him. I know it sounds weird, but it helped. A lot.</p>
<p>Im sorry Missy… I am just so sorry. We all know it’s part of life and it’s come in the right order and all, but man it just sucks.</p>
<p>As for your S… I can understand his deep saddness. My grandmother loved me in a way that always made me feel perfectly fine in this world. Not a small favor, trust me. And since she was older and wiser, I always took it that it meant she really did know that everything was going to work out just fine for me. I don’t think having someone like this in your life is as common as one would hope it would be. Big hug to him.</p>
<p>And oh… my eyes really itch. While I THINK I am glad I had this done, i will fully admit that I have done more online reading than is probably good for me. I am hoping that people who are reasonable in their expectations and having a good result tend not to post on some of these ‘review’ websites. Im hoping.</p>
<p>Thanks for checking in Missy. We all want to know how you are doing.</p>
<p>Some blue sky here today. Carpets cleaned and OH! What! the only spot is in D’s room–something red. Oh! What! she used a knife on my one day old $169 skillet and did cut it.
But do love her to pieces so will never tell. Still does sort of scare me that she will never really care about such things. (while I really do–but I grew up so very poor and she did not). Hoping for sun tomorrow.</p>
<p>Hoping for sunshine for oregon101 and for others who need it, whether in the forecast or just in general. Or, in the case of shawbridge, warmth.</p>
<p>Missypie, thanks for checking in. Neither H or I have lost a parent yet. As a hospice chaplain H experiences dying on a daily basis. My dad is having some health issues, and of course I am cognizant that it is coming for all of us and part of life. </p>
<p>Thinking of you, your mom, your S, etc and wishing you strength and peace. Hope you are able to get some rest.</p>
<p>Good morning. Missy, thanks for checking in. Take good care.
Moda, I still have dream conversations of a sort now and then with my dad, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Then again, I still have a Siamese cat who turns up in my dreams now and then to say hi, so maybe in my case, my subconscious has trouble with the whole timeline-continuity thing. My subconscious seems to believe everyone’s accessible to me in the hereafter 
Then again, maybe they are, and maybe my dreaming self just likes to wander. I have been told that by psychics and energy workers on occasion. Perhaps that’s why I sleep so soundly; nobody home ;)</p>
<p>We have an arctic blast on the way. We’ll see how strong my commitment to climbing the hill to get my mile in is next week. So far, I am managing this one small thing, so I’m optimistic.</p>
<p>Missypie, how very tragic and unexpected. You didn’t have any time to prepare. I hope you can surround yourself with wonderful and happy memories to help ease the pain of such a loss. I keep a picture of my Dad in my house, and glance at it now and then and then; and I pause a few moments to remember and chat now and then. </p>
<p>We learned this week that S is coming home for a long weekend at the end of the month – his travel plans fell through. He’s been dragging his feet about making plans after graduation so it looks like it will be a time to have a conversation to learn what is going on in his head. We know he’s unsure of what he wants to do next but thought he’d be making a few plans by now! </p>
<p>H and I went to a book club talk last night by local author of “Summer in a Glass” – it’s a book about the Finger Lakes wine region. Sounded interesting so I’ll be reading that next. It was good to get H out of the house; he works at home and that can seem quite confining in the winter. The event was very well attended and enjoyable.</p>
<p>And I’ve know I dislike exercise however I’m forcing myself to take the stairs at work. After a week, I’d have to admit it seems to be working as it seems a little easier to dash up and down the stairs at home. I still dislike it, but hope to stick with it. I admire folks who can work out – but after decades of trying, I know myself well enough to know I am not motivated enough to do something more official.</p>
<p>One day at a time missypie. Give pieson an extra hug from us.</p>
<p>moda…hope the eyes heal quickly and the itching stops soon. You and eddieo are so brave!
I wonder how chintzy is doing from her surgeries? We haven’t heard from her for so very long.</p>
<p>Getting ready for a quick weekend trip to Chicago, We are meeting friends from Ohio. Looking forward to it.</p>
<p>missypie,Thanks for checking in. Both of my parents and both of H’s parents are gone now. It is such a difficult loss. Please take care of yourself.</p>
<p>S2 got an email from a recruiter out of the blue asking for a phone interview. Major consulting firm he had submitted a resume to a year ago. What timing. He’s already accepted a position elsewhere so he had to decline the interview. Really hope his security clearance works out with his new employer as he is potentially passing up other opportunities. They are already working on the clearance but it can take awhile.</p>
<p>He’s leaving to go back to school today if I can ever get him out of bed. It’s a 5 hour drive so I really want him to get going by noon.</p>
<p>Have fun in Chicago,NM!</p>
<p>Some of you may remember my dilemma about two sons graduating on the same day, solved because there was a 2 hour time difference between ceremonies. Well, S4’s school changed the time and now they are scheduled at the same time. So, we’re back to splitting up again. There is a pre-commencement function at S4’s that my wife thinks she can attend, but I think she’s kidding herself if she thinks she can attend the function, drive to S1’s, find parking, walk to the venue, find S1’s SO and family, all before the ceremony starts. </p>
<p>On a brighter note, S1 has been accepted into the PHD program at two of his choices so far, so yeah for him! S4 also informed us there really isn’t a commencement ceremony once he completes his PHD in 4-6 years. Bah for us.</p>
<p>akck - congrats to your S, but that stinks about the graduations at the same time.</p>
<p>The MRI went ok. Thanks for sending the good vibes. I was worried about being freaked out but was able to relax and just kind of let my mind “go” during it. The Dr’s office called today while I was at a lunch meeting and when I called back it turned out that they were closed this afternoon. So I will have to wait until Monday or maybe Tuesday for results. </p>
<p>moda - I had some itching after my surgery, too. Just hang in there. It gets better.</p>
<p>Thinking about you, missypie.</p>
<p>I called the nurse today at my surgeon’s office primarily because I knew if I didn’t, and I had to wait until Monday’s appt I would have been bugged I hadn’t. She suggested I take some benedryll to see if that would help and it seems to have. It also knocked me out cold, which wasn’t horrible either.</p>
<p>All the realtors so far are coming in right about where we thought out asking price ought to be based on the market. Seems they have also spent more preparation trying to convince me of the asking price vs any kind of marketing advantage strategy - as most strategies are the same as well. The one today though suggested their buyer agent incentive which is basically between a half percent to a full percent extra in the commission. With a glut of inventory, not sure that it really is a good tool. However, it might be something to consider IF we get an offer within the first 30 days or something. Also, their stager is good for an hour and after that it’s on my dime. And while they had a nice concierge list of worker bees, it was up to me to call them, contact them, etc. I am so not in the mood and feel like they can make the calls, make sure they get what they need getting done and I will pay them.</p>
<p>We met with the pastor today and I came up with an order of worship for the service, I wrote some personal remembrances for him to read. My sister, Son and my niece are also going to speak. I’ve called the florist to “book” them, but we need to go pick our flowers tomorrow. My parents weren’t big coffee drinkers…what my mom made for me yesterday looked like weak tea. When I asked for the coffee this morning so I could make it stronger, Mom said, “you still drink decaf, right?” Uh, not since 1997. We bought real coffee at Target this afternoon. Dad has been cremated and his remains are in a box by the door. </p>
<p>H and older D and Son fly in tomorrow late afternoon. Son has an all day Saturday class, so he is going until about noon. Tragically, younger D can’t make it. Sunday and Monday is National Cheer Competition and the team truly couldn’t have competed without her. Sad, but Mom understands.</p>
<p>I bought barbeque potato chips at Target, too. I haven’t broken into them, but it feels good to know they’re in the house. One of the church ladies brought a carton of Coke. No alcohol in this house, so at some point I’m also going to drink a Coke (which I never do at home anymore.)</p>
<p>I brought my camera. I hope someone remembers to take some group pictures when the relatives start to arrive. Thanks for all the good thoughts.</p>
<p>Oh how nice missyS will speak at the service. Hugs to you, missy.</p>